I am terrified. Need help urgently.

I am an 18yr old male. I am addicted to porn since when I was 13. I started with normal porn. Like porn pics of women. Then I started to watch porn videos. then gradually this addiction got worse.

I found hentai. Then I jerked off almost three times a day. then I developed a fetish for tits and ass. mostly ass and hips
Then I jerked off for a year for this fetish.

Then I had this thought about having sex with horses .it was an instant turn-on for me. Then I jerked off to it several times. As this is disturbing enough. I developed another disturbing fetish. I jerked off to sex dolls. sometimes small-sized sex dolls. and I felt extreme guilt. but that doesn't stop me. It still got worse.

I found the hell hole for pornography. I found rule 34. Then every single day. I spend hours on that site. Then jerk off to every video. and also to some zoophilia stuff.

When I was 16. I was completely desensitized. Everything in my life felt boring. My brain was very foggy. but continued masturbating. until now.

I developed an interest in femboy sex stories. but I was straight from the start.
I jerked off only to the woman in random vids. and girls in my school. but then when I read those femboy stories. And seeing comments about getting fucked by men.
I got turned on. then I had fantasies about giving blowjobs to men. not every man. but only certain ones. but still I masturbated to women.

Then one night I had this intense urge. The urge was unnatural. the thought of giving a blow job to these certain men was very intense. I jerked off two times without a refractory period. But I couldn't control myself. I still read femboy stories. the story of boys being bottom. And even watched femboy videos in rule 34.

Sometimes I assumed the role of top. but that wasn't as arousing as being bottom.
Just after I masturbated to these fantasies. I felt the worst fucking guilt. I felt like lost my manhood. I was trying to cry but I couldn't.

Then I searched on google." can a person turn gay due to porn?". Then I found out about porn escalation.

So the week was worse. I had fantasies about me being a girl. And having sex with men. The guilt after I masturbated to these fantasies was unbearable. But still, I could jerk off to girls. But it isn't as arousing. I felt like I am losing interest in girls. I was terrified for the first time in my life.

So yesterday I went to my relations house.
For their marriage. There were also girls my age. I had this normal attraction to girls. But if I tried to sexualize them. I struggled to have an erection. but I only got a little sensation in my penis. So tried to see if I find men attractive. But I didn't find them attractive at all .no interest in them. But when I see them. I have this feeling. Like fear. Of what if I found them attractive?

Then I went to the bride grooms house.
I had this feeling. Like I don't know how to describe it. It was fear mixed with guilt. I cried internally but acted like I am happy outside. I was devastated. I never wanted this. Never.

But I had this little hope. It might be an escalation. My escalation to zoophilia stuff was just like this. I had this same intense urge. But it went away. just like that I am hoping this will go away too.

This is my first time writing posts like this.
I am not a native speaker. So I apologize for my bad English.

The last thing I wanted to ask is. Does anyone have had fetish like this?and how are u now doing ?