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Approaching 90 days. Now what?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by AlEng, Mar 28, 2023.

  1. Mar 28, 2023 #1
    AlEng

    AlEng Fapstronaut

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    With the help of this forum and the SAA I am approaching 90 days no PMO. I never thought I'd do it after 40+ years of solid acting out. In fact, I've not found it too difficult. I'm now single and, at some point I will be looking for a partner.

    So my question is, where next? I still objectify women very much. I suffered from PIED and was unable to orgasm during intercourse. I suspect that the years of porn and masturbation have desensitized me a lot. Do people think it's okay to go back to masturbation without porn? I worry, though, that this is a slippery slope to PMO.

    Do you think it's the right time start looking for a partner again? I still have many of the characteristics that I have while I was on porn, namely self-centered behavior, anxiety and lack of patience. I wonder if I would be best working on these behaviors through the SAA first?

    Thanks for your thoughts.
     
    AlEng, Mar 28, 2023
    AlEng, Mar 28, 2023
    #1
  2. Mar 29, 2023 #2
    GGAn

    GGAn Fapstronaut

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    I did some quick math and 3 months for you is 0,625% of the time you were addicted in sobriety. Not even 1%. I'm almost at 10% and just now on the trend upwards after feeling like shit for a long time.

    You should stop masturbation and porn forever. That's at least my goal.
    Maybe after 5 years or so I can think about masturbating without any stimulation at all.
     
    GGAn, Mar 29, 2023
    GGAn, Mar 29, 2023
    #2
    AlEng likes this.
  3. Mar 29, 2023 #3
    Everthing_will_be_alright

    Everthing_will_be_alright Fapstronaut

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    Masturbation without porn can lead to a slippery slope towards PMO, as it may become repetitive and mundane, and your mind may unconsciously recall pornographic images. As a personal rule, I limit my masturbation to less than once per month, making it the minimum frequency, and I never attempt to do it more than that. This approach was inspired by the book 'Quit Porn and Become Rich.
     
    Everthing_will_be_alright, Mar 29, 2023
    Everthing_will_be_alright, Mar 29, 2023
    #3
    AlEng and Anonymous86 like this.
  4. Mar 29, 2023 #4
    born3

    born3 Fapstronaut

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    Do you have a sponsor in SAA, usually it would not be advisable to start a relationship in early recovery.
    I would not do that. Protect your sobriety.
     
    born3, Mar 29, 2023
    born3, Mar 29, 2023
    #4
    AlEng likes this.
  5. Mar 29, 2023 #5
    Peligroso19

    Peligroso19 New Fapstronaut

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    Buenas quiero saber si me va ayudar a recuperar mi libido?
     
    Peligroso19, Mar 29, 2023
    Peligroso19, Mar 29, 2023
    #5
    Abel100% likes this.
  6. Mar 29, 2023 #6
    Abel100%

    Abel100% Fapstronaut

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    Si claro que lo puedes recuperar, la abstinencia puede llevarte a alcanzar mejoras en las erecciones , pero es un largo camino, creo que lo importante es tener una mente sana y un vida más en control , cosa que también busco, una ves lo tuve por mucho tiempo, pero lo perdí en los últimos años , deseo recuperarme....
     
    Abel100%, Mar 29, 2023
    Abel100%, Mar 29, 2023
    #6
    born3 likes this.
  7. Mar 30, 2023 #7
    AlEng

    AlEng Fapstronaut

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    Honestly, thank you all for your replies. Yes, I do have a sponsor at SAA and he has suggested not to make any big changes in the first 12 months. The substantive point about masturbation, you have strengthened my resolve to carry on with my abstinence. As GGAn pointed out, 3 months is a tiny proportion of my life and for someone of my age, rewiring will take a long time.

    Great to be part of this community and I will try harder to give back more than I take from you.
     
    AlEng, Mar 30, 2023
    AlEng, Mar 30, 2023
    #7
    born3 and LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself like this.
  8. Mar 30, 2023 #8
    Peligroso19

    Peligroso19 New Fapstronaut

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    Gracias
     
    Peligroso19, Mar 30, 2023
    Peligroso19, Mar 30, 2023
    #8
    AlEng likes this.
  9. Mar 30, 2023 #9
    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut
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    Just a few suggestions, from another guy who started this over 40.

    Using porn WILL lead you back to the compusivity. You obviously know about recovery. Can an alcoholic take a drink?

    But you are probably bursting with sexual energy right now. My suggestion is to stay in that, keep harnessing it, keep building that discipline. Don't just go spill seed at day 90. You will regret that.

    Get your life in line with your higher goals. After that, the woman thing will fix itself.
     
    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself, Mar 30, 2023
    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself, Mar 30, 2023
    #9
    AlEng and born3 like this.

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