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Sexually Intimidated By peer.

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Deleted Account, Mar 28, 2023.

  1. So I work my girlfriend at woek and I love her and she does what she can for me always in every shape and way, I’ve officially been 1 day clean which feels good.

    There’s this other girl that is on our shift and I feel awkward a bit around her. She is very petite and her body is “attractive” I’ll just put it at that and very short short I’d say about 3”9 at least. I am feeling sexually intimated by her unfortunately even though I feel all the same way towards my girlfriend. I’d never do anything behind her back.


    I’m just wondering how to stop myself from glancing at her? I can tell she works out and is very firm. I just feel awkward. Every time I see her I just see myself glancing and it’s just annoying.
     
    +TenPercent and uplift like this.
  2. KevinesKay

    KevinesKay Fapstronaut

    I would keep practicing keeping my eyes off of her. Practice makes perfect. If I continue to give myself permission to look at whomever I please without out any restraint, it's only a matter of time before my overheating brain desires to take the glancing, to staring, then to lust, and then to acting out.

    For me, it's just easier to not look, then to look without lusting. For me, trying to practice looking without lusting is like a recovering alcoholic trying to practice drinking without getting drunk. There are many in this world that can look at others without it going to lust. But that's not me. My addict can never be trusted. So I don't get in the ring with it. Do I do this perfectly? No. But I pay very close attention to keeping custody of my eyes and mind. For me, it's actually easier to clean up my outside by cleaning up the inside of myself, than it is to clean up just my outside behaviors hoping that some of that cleanliness will rub off on my inside.

    And the easiest look to say No to is, The First One. Much easier than saying No to the second, or the third, or the fifth, or the eighth.

    I can see women better when I don't look at them; a whole lot better.

    Most of them aren't looking at me. They're not talking to me. They're not thinking about me. So there are no favors to return. Why bring them into my circle?

    This practice has made such a huuuuge impact on my recovery and my attraction towards my wife. And my wife notices that I'm no longer giving myself permission to check out other women. And she feels a lot more safer because of that.
     
    Mr. Monk likes this.
  3. F14

    F14 Fapstronaut

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    I would agree with the advise above. Though I would also add something. Not looking is the best policy. But how do you handle it when when you do look? You need to practice self discipline, the act of telling yourself no. So step 1 is saying no to looking. If you fail at step 1 (and you likely will at least once) step 2 is saying not to continuing to look, making yourself look away and not letting the look continue.

    Both of these practices will help you strengthen yourself discipline which will ultimately help you in your nofap journey.
     
    KevinesKay likes this.
  4. InappropriateUsername

    InappropriateUsername Fapstronaut

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    You sure you mean “sexually intimidated?” Sounds like you’re sexually attracted to her.

    Acknowledge the fact she’s attractive. Acknowledge you have a girlfriend.
    When you get the urge to look, look at something else. Eventually you’ll stop glancing at her.
     
    Mr. Monk and JustinX like this.
  5. GuruDev

    GuruDev Fapstronaut

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    I agree with the 1st two comments with respect to training your brain to not look at her in the way you are doing right now. But I also would like to add one more point to it.

    I am assuming you dont talk to her much or she might not have even noticed you much. If my assumption is correct, I would suggest you to start making friendly conversations with her. Make sure you look into her eyes during the conversations.

    The more you talk to her your mind would very soon start to change the way you see her. This has worked for me plenty of times. This is all in our mind.
     
    F14 likes this.
  6. loneloan

    loneloan Fapstronaut

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    Try to meditate on the fleeting-passage of youth and beauty and think of yourself as an old man living happy with his wife, or playing with grandkids etc. Or think of the components of the body as Empty (atoms=mostly empty space. actually they have Waves but stick with the common idea).
    Some forms of beauty in women can strike men in very drastic ways, without warning, the shock sticks. Just meditate a bit inside your mind
     

  7. Thanks! I really appreciate the comment. Yeah sexually attracted correct. I’m really attracted to my gf and it’s just when the other woman is around it’s aggravating. Like from seeing her legs it’s like gym legs even in jeans I can glimpse it.. One thing I always remind myself “ I don’t know who she is or who she’s been with, don’t get confused with what’s on the outside.”
     
    KevinesKay and F14 like this.

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