Stopping Sex Chat Sites and Pic Trading

I moved on from porn a few years ago. It was already wrecking havoc but I found something worse to replace it: sex chat sites.

Whereas before, I may spend 10 to (at max) 40 minutes watching porn, these sites lengthened it to 2-4 hours. It was exciting to talk to actual people. I got a rush from finding partners, engaging in roleplays or chats. There was always something new to experience. After a lot of introspection, I think I grew up feeling really unattractive so having access to all these strangers shower me with compliments about my writing skills and how sexy I was (yes I know they never saw my face, but pretty lies still feel nice) really pushed me to keep going. Soon I barely watched any porn.

This has been devastating to my life for several reasons:

• It is eating up my time: I'm losing so much sleep because I'll stay up 'til 4am on these sites. I'll waste time I could be spending with friends or exploring richer activities in life. It's gotten to the point where I'll even start doing things at my workplace, which is impacting my productivity and job security.
  
• It's messing up my sexual performance: When I'm sleeping with someone, I'll last too long. Sometimes I can't get it up or keep it up. Very often I don't finish. It's really frustrating.
• It's messing up my relationships: I feel like having access to all kinds of different people has made it harder for me to want to stick with one person. I'm single but I'm reluctant from going into a relationship because I don't think I can stop this for them, and it'd definitely be considered cheating. But also I feel like it makes me get sexually bored of the same person quicker.
• My fetishes and kinks are getting darker: these chatrooms have hundreds or sometimes thousands of people online. When you're cycling through potential chat partners, some people will have kinks that disgust you. But eventually maybe you decide to try it, or maybe being exposed to it all the time you get desensitized to the content before you eventually cave in. (I'm not talking about CP just to clarify. That's a line I'd never ever cross). But the roleplays have gone from just sexual chats to scenes involving heavy r*pe and raceplay, misogyny, and violence that I'd never condone if I saw it anywhere else. I'm scared of how worse they'll get.
• I've crossed a clear moral line: I recently started M'ing to pictures of random women I find through google searches, but not just that. I've sent it to others on these chat sites for us to M to together. These are people who haven't consented to having their images used like this, and I know they would be horrified and traumatized if they knew.

I need to stop. I've tried before but those times were rooted in Christian guilt. When I got out of religion I thought that all this stuff about porn was just religious-propaganda. I don't think so anymore. Now I recognize I need to quit not to save my porn, but to save any joy I want to get out of life, relationships, sex, and my own self-worth.

GOALS:
1# Stop All Activity on Sex Chat Sites
Plan:

• Install Cold Turkey Blocker on my computer
  • This app is a godsend for computer users. It not only blocks problematic sites, but it prevents you from uninstalling it or changing the settings except for within a designated time. I set it for between 4am to 6am because I know I'd never be awake and horny during that time. The only flaw is that it's not available for mobile phones. Which leads me to...
• Find and install a mobile equivalent
  • Still doing my research, but I'm thinking of going ahead and going for one of the paid apps. It may be a bit of a hit at first, but hopefully it'll save me much more in the end.
• Delete my Reddit accounts
  • I love the site but there are subs that allow me access to sexting partners. This however is low-priority, because of how difficult it is to find a partner. I've relied on this less and less because of how rare it is to find someone on this site. But still, deleting this site would go a long ways to getting me off my phone in general.

2# Reduce PMO Activity
Plan:

• I can't do cold turkey. So I'm starting small. The goal is 1 week. At the end of the week, I'll allow myself to PMO. My mistake before was being too eager I think. Once I would hit one milestone, I'd immediately jump and lengthen my goals by a lot, like from 1 week to 2 to 3 to 4. I should stay at the same interval for an extended amount of time and slowly extend it.
  
• Throw away my lotion and tissues. I want to make it as inconvenient as possible for myself.
  
• Fill my schedule up.
  
  • I often PMO on days I work from home. So instead of working in the privacy of my bedroom, I'm going to make it a point to go into work, work from a cafe, or just work in the living room where my roommates frequent.
    
  • I also PMO at night. I can start having movie nights with roommates or doing other activities out in town. I can also start going to the gym immediately when I get home to reduce the time I spend in my room.
• I can also use the Cold Turkey App to only allow me to access P sites on certain days to keep me really on point.

I'd love any feedback y'all have to offer, and your own stories.

 

I appreciate your encouragement. I’m only one day in and it’s already really hard.
Do you have any good suggestions for mobile apps that can block sites on the phone the way CT does, where you can’t even uninstall it outside certain hours?