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Diary! Dose is work?

For Fapstronauts who are disciples of Christ

  1. Temptations can be plentiful during weekends, especially if there's loud party music and such.
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2022
  2. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    Day 0: Pray for me.

    Here we go again.
    Never give up!
     
  3. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    Day 1: Success!

    Not much to say, is just day one, usually i can go a week without PMO, i hope i can make it passed that, it has been a while since i had a few weeks streak.
     
    Tao Jones likes this.
  4. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    Day 8 : Success!

    I was not home for about a week, so i had no time to check in, i do my check in s on my PC only.
     
    jw2021 and Wilderness Wanderer like this.
  5. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations on a week of freedom and congratulations on identifying some of your triggers to be avoided going forward. Make today another triumphant day in the battle and fill any moments of temptation with prayer. May God bless you today!
     
    jw2021 likes this.
  6. RedeemedIowan

    RedeemedIowan Fapstronaut

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    Hi @Lost Hope, glad to see you back to posting. Most recoveries from sexual addiction involved relapse and slip ups, some more than others. Neither mean you are back at the beginning of your recovery. They are part of your road to recovery.
     
    jw2021 likes this.
  7. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    Day 3: Success!

    So yahh.... Slip up already. One week, that s my limit, since i was here last time, my relapses was every week, best case two weeks.
    And its weekend, plenty of time to slip, need to get busy with something.
     
    Wilderness Wanderer and jw2021 like this.
  8. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

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    Yes, get busy with something but let it begin and end with prayer from your heart seeking grace.
     
    Wilderness Wanderer and jw2021 like this.
  9. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    Day 0: Pray for me.

    One week was my limit, and i decided to do better than that, but last few week s since i decided to do better, it was even worse than before, relapsed nearly every day.

    It was my fault for not actually trying to do my best or at least write something here...
    i don t know what to say tbh... Starting to get depressed, i can feel it...
    I hope if i keep tabs here,i can do better.
     
  10. What will help you keep tabs here? Do you have any support IRL?
     
  11. Kemar935

    Kemar935 Fapstronaut

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    I know how you feel, I felt many times like that before too where I had multiple relapses and felt depressed with a lot of guilt. Remember that Satan would all the more love to keep you dwelling in your own guilt, making you feel that logging into Nofap is not good because you'll have to confess your sins to the people in this community and what will they think of you when you keep on relapsing and relapsing. At least that's how my mind has occasionally work. This is a lie! People here are there for you in the bad and good times, they are supportive and people will be praying for you. More importantly, God doesn't want you to stay in your own guilt either, he wants you to stand up again and give it another go! So keep going! Don't give up, never give up. Just keep going one step at a time
     
  12. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

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    I heard this verse the other day in a Bible podcast. To me, the message is - even the righteous man falls but unlike the wicked man, the righteous man gets back up and starts once again on the path towards Christ.


    Proverbs 24:16 "for a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again;
    but the wicked are overthrown by calamity." RSV-CE

    PS I heard there are interpretations of this verse that state the righteous man falls seven times per day! That isn't an excuse to give up but it does point out that even the best among us are flawed human beings.
     
  13. Right on! It is not sin that defines us -- we are all sinners. It is what we do in response to our sin. Do we run to Christ or away from him? That choice is what determines whether we are his disciples.
     
  14. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    Day 2: Success!

    Thank You all for your prayers and encouragement.

    As for support IRL, no, i don t have any. I am not "that" close to family or friends, this would be to awkward for me to have a conversation about my problem with someone i know. Its much much easier to have it here with someone that i don t know and has/had the same problem as i.

    I don t know why, but the harder i try to not watch P or to think about it, the more i feel the need to or to think about it or having some thoughts.
    Summer is here, girls are wearing less and less clothes or more and more revealing ones, this could be a trigger...
     
  15. Many communities offer recovery support meetings. It might be a help to you to find one and begin attending regularly. It is very hard to recover alone.
     
  16. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    Hi there, long time no see...
    Yeah... i m... not gonna go in to much details why i have not posted any in about half a year. In short, thing s got a really bad turn for me in the last month, i have begun to slowly go back to my old way s, like before joining this community. I had a good time before, had days, i had weeks, i had up to month streak s, of no PMO... but yah... life is unfair sometime s... broken relationship s, s**ty job, bad health, etc... the usual.
    I have been lurking in the mean time here from time to time to reset my counter or to read some random topics, had no motivation to say any tho.

    I wish i can say that this time is the one that i m gonna do it, like i did last time, did a couple of post s and after some time life give s you lemons (or what ever the saying is).
    Depressed as F, demoralized to do anything, bored as F from the stuff i used to enjoy, i start to get some things done to keep me busy and i give up like i don t F care anymore, etc...

    I don t know what to do anymore, i m in my early 30' and still not able to give up on this s**t, i gave up on so many things that they would be a problem, but this... this is bs...

    Pray for me to get the motivation and will power to get back on track. Thank You for everything.

    PS: I apologize for foul language , i was venting out.
     
  17. Welcome back. I'll reiterate my suggestion to look into IRL support. I hope you will choose to take the steps that lead to life and not just keep spinning out in the mud.
     
    Wilderness Wanderer likes this.
  18. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

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    There is a particular brand of candy bar that I have always enjoyed. When they started making it in an ice cream bar, I almost fell over with enjoyment. The sweet chewy caramel with nuts - oh my gosh! How awesome! At one point, after a long frustrating day at work, I came home and ate one of these things most days of the week. I enjoyed it and it made me feel a little bit happier for a short period of time. Of course, I know the wonderful sweet enjoyment is short lived but the negative effects of the sugar loaded concoction are long lasting and of course the more of them I eat, the worse the impact is.

    Isn't PMO just the same thing in a different form? Its sweet for a few moments but the negative effects are long lasting and it does nothing to alleviate the underlying problems. Indeed, in several ways it makes our problems worse. The most detrimental, of course, is the obstacles PMO builds between us and Christ. No human can love us with the unconditional purity and acceptance that Christ does. Once we have experienced His warm, pure love, how lonely life becomes when we separate ourselves from it.

    When tempted, I pray we can all step back and see past the fleeting pleasure the devil offers to the long term serious detriments that PMO brings.
     
  19. Faithe

    Faithe Fapstronaut

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    Slightly off topic of where you were headed with this but this reminded me of some advice I heard a long time ago about rewarding yourself with a sweet treat or favorite food when you've hit a certain benchmark of no PMO and you only have it when you've been clean. You don't treat yourself the same day as a reset. Over time, you associate being clean with having your favorite food and your brain knows that it won't get the treat if you reset. I only tried it a few times and it turns out it's not an effective strategy when I'm not in the mood for chocolate. But to each their own, maybe it works for some.

    Anyways, I completely agree with you. That's a great way of putting it. Nothing compares and nothing can replace His love.
     
    Wilderness Wanderer likes this.
  20. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

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    In the early days of my rehabilitation, I allowed myself to buy some item that I wanted (generally a tool of some sort - I enjoy making things) when I achieved a milestone. I can't say that this was enough motivation on its own but coupled with other actions I was undertaking, I recall that it helped. Freedom from this sin is worth any price.
     
    Wilderness Wanderer and Faithe like this.

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