THE SUPER SAIYAN CHALLENGE! What is your Power Level?! (RANKS ARE BACK, GET YOURS NOW!

Day 49 saiyans

Did a lot of deep thinking yesterday, deep into subconscious thought, and saw that I am healing and becoming a better much stronger version of my self, however malignant forces, lust etc wont back off without a fight, I just find it funny how now when those kinds of thoughts come I can so easily dissect them. Im angry and full of hate for what this addiction has done to me, but also grateful for the vision and wisdom its given me. I know what I have to do, the people who must pay, and the path I must walk. Life after we kill this demon will never be the same as it was, but it shouldn't. We must kill our previous selves in order to evolve. Who know what we can create when we are our strongest selves. Keep going saiyans
Fight or die!

 

15 days free of PMO, day 16 in progress.
I am finally an Elite Warrior again after so much struggle.
I keep training, I want to get even stronger!
Let's do this Saiyans!

 

Day 3

 

It’s been a strange week guys. Stayed off porn for about a week and a half but it was self will. Wasn’t checking in or working my plan wholeheartedly.
Met a woman at karaoke last week and broke my bottom lines. Went back to her place and had an unprotected hookup. Haven’t talked to her since then and have been wresting with shame and guilt around that. Continued to abstain from porn for rest of the week but stroked a couple times thinking about the experience with her. Wanting to call her back but fearful. Tonight I got caught in a spiral and took the bait. Compulsively scrolled social media for hours then moved to dating app, then changed search to non-binary, then stumbled into a passable trans -feminine - searched her profile on social. Followed the link to her adult page as it circumvents blockers on the social app. Used my plasma donation card to purchase premium content and scrolled and fapped twice. Immediately and reflexively deleted the account and scrubbed all searches just like I used to in the early days when I had to hide it.
Not this time though. I can not tell a lie or hide anymore. I am addicted to porn. I desire healthy intimate relationships but find myself repeatedly pushing people away for extended periods of time then briefly drawing them in for sex before pushing away again. I am powerless over this behavior once the pattern starts. My life has become unmanageable in the this area and I believe that only the God of my understanding can restore me to sanity.

(悟) Low Class Warrior ▬ Training in the ► SUPER SAIYAN CHALLENGE ◄

 

Yo, this is weird, I swear to god I posted a check–in post here yesterday and it's gone now. This is second time this happens in this challenge thread, is this thread bugged or something? Or did some mod delete it; it was just a day number, nothing that broke the rules, so probably not? Weird...

Anyhow, if we are counting no psubs in this challenge then I gotta reset. Still haven't done any PMO and have not watched any porn, so not resetting my Hard Mode counter, but I did click a social medial link which led to Pinterest, and there were some psubs, and I spent a minute or so there—a minute is a minute too long—so I am resetting my psub counter (have two separate counters going, one porn counter in my signature for the Hard Mode and another counter in my journal for psubs).

That being said, it still feels a little bit weird to reset, cause the official rules say:

No mention of psubs; "NO PMO" just means Hard Mode, which does not include psubs. But as some people here let me know they want this challenge to be no psubs mode, so I guess I will respect that and reset for now. But not sure what I'm gonna do in the future, might just start counting my no PMO streak here, cause in the end of a day the official rules say that's what it is. I mean that's how the original poster of this challenge (@Invincible Under The Sun) originally intended it when he made the thread, otherwise he would have included "no psubs" rule too, but he didn't. So when you think about it, it seems to be little bit disrespectful to try to put words in his mouth, especially for those who claim to be his friends before he deleted his account, and that this challenge thread is supposed to be his legacy...

But anyhow, will see, for now though: day 1!

 

Day 0
Lower class saiyan
wanna achieve more

 

Day 180!

Guys another milestone here: tomorrow will be officially a half a year since I last relapsed!!

I took a few days off from work and visited a good friend of mine in Norway. We went out in the woods to be in nature: hiking, chopping wood, making a fire and cooking our food on it. Really really going back to basics and I loved it. Although the travel was not really nice by getting up at 3AM and commute for 7 hours, I feel totally relaxed and recharged again. Last three days I was able to sleep till 7/8AM and even one day I woke up after 9... Flabbergasted because the last couple of months I was never able to sleep past 6AM. I now think I was slightly overworked and I need to address that now because I always woke up with 10 new ideas or things I had / wanted to work on as soon as I woke up. Now I just fall asleep again

Urges to watch porn are close to zero, it is just not even in my system altough it is just two clicks away to watch it. Funny how it just fades away the more you're moving away from the addiction.
The urge wanting to have sex with a real woman though is sky high but it is manageble. A big change on that part is that I now see so many more women in real life that I think are (really) attractive by just very subtle features: the way the hair looks, the smoothness of their skin or the shape of their eyes or lips or when they smile. While before I only got triggered (in a pure sexual frustration way) by the skimpy looking girls who would wear very short skirts or showing off their decollete too much.

I need to do some more soul searching in how to get closer to a way of living that actualy makes me happy without trying to chase the dragon (work more to get more money to be happier but at the same time that process / motivation is making me less happy). One thing I am a 100% sure of and that is that kicking this addiction is by far one of the greatest acchievements I managed to obtain over the last 15 to 20 years. Mostly because this addiction influenced every aspect of my life: work, friends, gym, motivation, sleep, general well being but most important of all: my relationships with women.

But I am also realistic: the risk of a relapse is still there and I know I am not completely healed. I know to fully heal, it could take another 1/2 year to maybe even 1-2 years because beating up my brain with this toxic habbit for over 15-20 years during my highly mallable teen / adolescent years is not "fixed" by just 6 month of abstinence. But at least I have found a way to "fix" the problem that before I discovered nofap not even knew existed or was related to my porn use!

I am still shocked and have a feeling of sadness when I think back of those years in my late teen / early twenties where I very often just generally felt demotivated, lethargic and over the years became more and more sexually incompetent with real women. I was just a slave to porn but never ever understood that it was related to my porn (ab)use!! I even think that if I would've been able to not be addicted to porn back then I would've been better able to keep a relationship and perhaps I would've been a dad with a family instead of this lonely 38 year old bachelor talking about his porn addiction it hurts me in the core of my being to think about this outcome where I for so long was not able to see the causal connection....and even when I discovered the connection I still was not able to kick the addiction for over 5 whole years!

But it is not too late, I am still able to start a family or at least find and be with an incredible woman and "give" her the very best version of myself that I never was able to be in my prior relationships. I will dust off the pains of the past, I will stand up straight, look ahead and do my very best with all the means and opportunities I have now at my disposal. I will not linger on the past and I will not surrender to my urges, desires and needs but fight for that what is meaningful and what actually makes life worth living for.

Stay strong fellow warriors! Every day is another day that will bring us closer to the best and real version of who we are: men of self respect, self discipline and self worth

 

Day 443! Sorry for the delay. Here is the list :

Current Z Fighters:



Day 0 - Low-Class Warrior

@DRAGON_ (Low-Class Warrior)
@pfighter (Low-Class Warrior)
@Peppy (Low-Class Warrior)
@kingdawoo (Low-Class Warrior)
@Risingstar98 (Low-Class Warrior)
@Spirali (Low-Class Warrior)
@Yambo (Low-Class Warrior)
@ZenYogi (Elite Warrior)
@sufferingmen07 (Low-Class Warrior)
@Person_Need_To_Change (Low-Class Warrior)
@breaking-myths (Low-Class Warrior)
@GhostWalker (Low-Class Warrior)
@Interface (Low-Class Warrior)
@Jack778 (Low-Class Warrior)
@baka_yaro (Low-Class Warrior)
@Quickaston (Low-Class Warrior)
@FrenchOliver (Low-Class Warrior)
@Berserker1512 (Low-Class Warrior)
@Siaiyiqing (Low-Class Warrior)
@HakiMatt (Low-Class Warrior)
@stronaut2021 (Low-Class Warrior)
@Ūruz (Low-Class Warrior)
@Resilience personified (Low-Class Warrior)
@Stoic. (Low-Class Warrior)
@Fap5tr0naut (Low-Class Warrior)
@AtomxCardozo (Low-Class Warrior)
@hewm (Low-Class Warrior)
@Espritis (Low-Class Warrior)
@Thadeus Tuffington (Low-Class Warrior)
@Dovahkin101 (Low-Class Warrior)
@Ank07 (Low-Class Warrior)
@ws00525859 (Low-Class Warrior)
@Kratos_GOW (Low-Class Warrior)

Day 15 - Elite Warrior

@ZenYogi (Elite Warrior)
@axelgg (Elite Warrior)
@theonlyway (Elite Warrior)
@Ainz (Elite Warrior)
@MJ Warrior 93 (Elite Warrior)
@Against_the_demon_in_myself (Elite Warrior)
@Redemptionisrequired (Elite Warrior)

Day 30 - Oozaru

@Toni7 (Oozaru)
@KaiokenX20 (Oozaru)
@Revanthegrey (Oozaru)
@alpha666 (Oozaru)

Day 45 - Super Saiyan

Day 75 - Super Saiyan 2

Day 100 - Super Saiyan 3

@LLOYYD (Super Saiyan 3)
@JB39 (Super Saiyan 3)

Day 150 - Super Saiyan God

@Lexro84 (Super Saiyan God)

Day 200 - Super Saiyan Blue

Day 245 - Super Saiyan Blue Evolved

@cyp77 (Super Saiyan Blue Evolved)

Day 300 - Ultra Instinct

@Baki Hanma (Ultra Instinct)

Day 400 - Mastered Ultra Instinct

@zars (Mastered Ultra Instinct)
@Kingfisher (Mastered Ultra Instinct)

Keep up the good work brothers!

 

5 days down

@Kingfisher thanks for spending your valuable time and making this list.

 

@Kingfisher now that you are at the highest level. Do you feel you're still in the need of recovery? Do you think a relapse is still close for you as it was when you just started this challenge?

 

Day 50 saiyans

Been feeling really angry about the past. I know its stupid since it can't be changed, but still look at it as a learning experience. Mainly as to how I used to carry my self, and the blatant disrespect I used to tolerate. Some people truly deserve to suffer.
Fight or die!

 

16 days free of PMO, day 17 in progress.
@Lexro84 inspiring post. I have also felt sad and regretful of my porn usage, especially in my younger years.
I wished more than anything that I would have a girlfriend to love instead of me being that socially awkward kid back in the day.
But as you said, we accept the past, learn from it and move forward with discipline, dignity and self-respect.
@Kingfisher thanks for the list brother.

 

Day 0!

 

Day 114 check in.
I had a few busy days that kept me away from spending too much time in my head.
That's good on the side of recovery but it makes easy for old habits to creep back in.
It is clear to me that being on the look out it's not yet a habit and the old ones are far from being dead.

A few difficult days ahead, being on my own with the kid for the rest of the week.
The panic button will prove handy.

Stay strong everyone, one day at a time!

Thanks for the list @Kingfisher.
Very inspiring post @Lexro84. Don't loose your hart brother, you have achieved so much. Looking back with regret at what was lost is a trick of the mind (remember, you are not your mind). One will always loose something. You are in a good place now, enjoy it.

 

Still I come back, spent so much more time than I thought,
It's better to note here, than just resist it alone.

 

Day 4

 

Day 1 almost complete

 

Day 0

Relapsed again. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. How did I go from having streaks up to 2-3 months, from rarely being able to make it to 7 days? Posting here or journaling doesn't seem to give me incentive not to relapse at all, which is why I often give up and don't bother. When I decide to relapse, there isn't even a struggle to fight it anymore - I just do it on a whim and don't care in the moment.

 

Day 2!

 

Hi brother @Spirali, I'm sorry to read this.
I have gone through the hell you're describing many times. After a relapse and with continuous use you may feel there is no hope and that you will not be able to ever stop. You feel desparate and powerless.

The truth is that we don't know what will be, but that thinking comes from a weak spot, from the addict self. It's creating a vicious cycle that has one goal only, to keep you using. It's a parasytic thought that will do anything to stay alive, at all cost.

The only thing you can do is to try again. Block the adult content on your computer, stay off social media, stay away from you laptop, make note of what triggers you and stay away. Tell your addict self to shut up and fuck off when he resurfaces.

Don't stop. Just try again.