Single but not lonely.

I'm single but I'm happy anyway. I say life's a short experience you should try to find joy in every moment because you have the gift of life. Either way your life happens whether your happy or not. I also see it as you have your own problems why take on someone else's? I'm only gonna look for some ass when I'm ready but for now you could just focus on what makes you happy. Who the hell cares what society wants for you. It's YOUR experience and you pilot your own ship.
On another note I only feel the lonely feeling when I watch porn, because after you nut your body gives you the 'connection' chemicals and you feel bad because no one else is there. But I identify that feeling and just let it pass... I suggest limit your viewing of porn...

 

Loneliness is a passing feeling, and something that is experienced by both single and married people alike. The truth of the matter is being “with” someone does not just cure the feeling of loneliness forever. My friends who are married or dating still experience loneliness from time to time. I am vocationally single for life, and I occasionally experience loneliness, but I have a very strong community surrounding me and more often feel loved, wanted, full and content. Our society has really led people on in this belief that having someone in your life is the solution to loneliness, but it’s just not.

 

I think i have finally come to a place of being single and satisfied instead of lonely all the time. I've been in relationships before and if youre in a good one its worth it but if youre not in a good one its better being alone. Most relationships aren't truly good, few are. I value my peace and peace of mind above being in a relationship just to not be alone. Also i think that i am so irreparably damaged that i am better off being by myself. No one cares about Men, society surely doesn't care thats for sure.

 

It's very possible to be in a relationship and feel more lonely than if you are physically by yourself. Simply having another person there isnt what alleviates loneliness, it's the intimacy and feeling of connection. Work on yourself and be happy in your own company before pursuing a relationship, otherwise you risk entering into one that does more harm than good.

 

I don't know how I feel about being single, There's a part of me that longs for lasting love with a woman, but at the same time I do think that modern dating is pretty much a minefield for me and the real long term relationships/marriages seem to be few and far between these days.

Spoiler: Culture 1980s

Spoiler: Culture Today

Long story short, I find that I would much rather be single than to be with a woman who is going to give me any grief for enjoying Metallica or any other of my hobbies and/or the stuff I like. And I apply that logic to everything else too not just dating. Hence why I find myself with a smaller social circle but I guess that's what happens these days when you lay down your smartphone and delete social media and find a lot of things that are genuinely meaningful to you.

 

Deleted all my social media about two years ago and haven’t missed it. Showed me who the real ones are and has made my connections meaningful.

 

(Please forgive me if I go on too long, but I have a lot to say in this matter.)

The way I look at it is that I am a vessel. There's always something in it, even if it's just air. Whatever's in it, is what I make of it.

If I want to have a partner and can't find one, then what fills it up are feelings of
worthlessness, self-doubt, a lack of self-esteem, and loads of different fears.

That was how it was after my divorce, in 2018. Man, I died a thousand deaths every night.

In my second full reboot in 2020, this stopped. I used to be like, oh no, it's night, and I didn't meet a woman today, which means I won't have a date this weekend. It's horrible. But things changed and went home, it wasn't like that. I would think,
I'm going to write some lyrics to a song I'm working on, maybe do a little mixing, read some Bukowski, workout a little, make some dinner, chill out and watch the game.

You know? Because if you go around being needy and wanting, feeling that desire, the starving man is never fed. And also, the starving man is never full, either.

But if I live my best today and accept what it is, while also trying to do things
that improve me, things that build my life plan on a long-term basis, then
I'm ok and things are good.

I guess the Buddhists were right when they said desire is the root of suffering.

And the way I look at it is like this, which some might disagree with,
that if you are unhappy being single, probably you need to stay single longer
until these feelings change.

Because the natural temptation is to go out and chase women, right?

And you will probably get one, even in that state. I hate to admit this, but if
you went out every day and or night, to every place where women are,
and talked to a large volume of them, someone would say yes.

But what is the result of that? I think it's great to fight your fear of approach, and to
go out and get what you need in the world. I have no problems with guys
doing that.

But in the end, you have severe emotional problems and life improvement issues
that never get addressed.

So what happens is that you get a mediocre chick, you're unhappy, she's unhappy, then you go back to the heartache and loneliness and lukewarm lifestyle. Then you decide you're miserable, so you go back out again and take who's available.

It's like the whole house is burning down, and you are content if you can just spray
water on your little corner and stay in it.

What I hope that other guys would consider is to be alone for a while, journal about these feelings and problems, and work on "meaningful goals".

"Meaningful goals" are not conquering video game levels, selling pot, and hanging out at bars. You need to build wealth and fitness if you ever want to have long lasting
self-esteem.

But most dudes on here only care about how they will get laid today. Seriously! Here you have a porn problem, your life is a disaster, and you want to get laid?

Why don't you just invest in a cardboard box so you will have some shelter?

It's just the way I see it.

NoFap is a program of suffering for fitness, life improvement, income, intelligence and spiritual goals. If you are here to transform from being a loser into a winner, that should be the "top goal on the priorities list".

But either way, if you have a porn problem, if you feel like a loser, or if you are just lonely, in any case you should not be chasing women right now.

They say you should be working on yourself. I say, be working on yourself and
trying to win at the game of money and success, with powerful results,
which only come through
EFFORT
SUFFERING
SACRIFICE
TIME
WORK
DEDICATION
PAIN

So we all struggle together to get better, I hope.

 

That fitness goal is powerful. My only suggestion is just to build endurance and get stronger, but don't worry about getting bigger. Let nature make that part happen. Don't take any supplements or drugs for that. If you just focus on making gains by putting in the sets and reps, running the laps or whatever, you will get an awesome physique.

As for the career goals, being 19 you are in the perfect time of your life to think about what to do. My suggestion is to focus on finding a career that's going to pay 6 figures within 3-5 years. Cops, teachers, the military and government jobs won't do that.

But think about it this way, that if you have to go to school for a long time, if you need a lot of licenses or certifications, and the subject is hard, it's going to pay a lot. Since you're young, it's better to take that hard road now, if you are going to do it.

That said, my friend, most people at all pay rates hate their jobs. Pilots hate that they can't be home every night, doctors have very long periods in operating rooms, and so on. You need to think about something that you can tolerate, more than something you love, so you can have a house in a decent neighborhood, have a good paycheck, and be able to plan out retirement, even an early one.

As for what "exact thing", nobody can decide that for you. Everybody wants to be a rock star, actor or writer, but the odds are horrible in a creative field.

I'm just trying to give you good long term advice, trying to get you to think about the big picture, as a friend.

But what I would do to figure that out first is to start a hard mode reboot. Then research it at the library. Call people on the phone or send emails to people who work in that field, ask them questions. If you make a good connection, make an investment and buy that person lunch. Bring a pad and pencil and take notes.

Don't let anybody tell you junk. You can be a success, you can be a doctor, lawyer, or CEO. You just put in the work, and act like you care, and the money comes.

 

I was single for 30 years and never felt lonely. Than I started nofap, found a 1st girl, 1st deeper relationship, and ultimately, 1st breakup which was painful AF and left me dying for 1 year. That was like 7 years ago.

Since than, I felt lonely a lot, because now I know, how it feels, when you are not lonely.

Before, I had no clue I was missing something.

 

If you're in college, one more thing I might mention.

Start saving early. Put your money into indexes, and don't take it out.

 

Bitcoin mate...

 

Ultimately, we are always single, rest is a illusion. Its just us. Only real companion you have in your life is you and God. Those will never leave you, not even after u die.

Its possible to not feel lonely, even as single. Its just a process of understanding the rules of the game.

If you have a gf, what changes. Its just another external being who accompanies you from time to time, for a limited period, for her own benefit. If u are hurt inside, she cant get there to help you. She will not understand your struggles. Most likely not even interested in em. Its still just you, having a ilusion of not being alone.

 

Maybe your thing is finance then?

 

Yeah, there's other subtle benefits to having one, but probably it's mostly a liability.

Because a gf is like any other thing, it takes a lot of maintenance and costs.

You can't just bring someone into your life and let them run wild.