New journal

Congratulations on achieving the 30 day milestone my friend. You're doing great!

 

Do you have much debt? If you do I highly suggest looking into Dave Ramsey's system. We're debt free, "other than my wife's student loans" and I have to say it's great that finances aren't an issue we fight about anymore. Even if it's just for your own anxiety financial freedom is a great thing.

 

Dave Ramsey is great in certain situations. I have found over the years that his advice is getting more and more outdated as the economy shifts.
I have decent employment, enough to keep our family floating and we are okay. Our only debt is my husband's student loans, but I have definitely looked into DR stuff to try and help us do better.

His only advice that applied to our situation at all had a total lack of understanding of the current temperature of the fields I'm in. His advice was that my degrees (2 masters and a PhD) should be making almost 200k..... When that just really doesn't exist. When I say that, people assume my degree is in creative writing or something. Nope. My degrees are in chemistry (MS), biochemistry (PhD), and curriculum (ma). The only way I get a job paying that much is by moving to an area that costs so much that the increase in pay would be eaten (and then some) by cost of living. Which is just kinda how the cookie has always crumbled in my science field. There are really great jobs.....in really expensive places. And school districts no longer bother to fill curriculum positions. And curriculum companies pay almost nothing to the people developing their curricula, which is likely why the curricula for purchase are so so bad.

Anyway, all that to say that in the current economy (if OP is in the US), you can do most things right and still be struggling to get by each month. I'm fortunate to be able to work multiple jobs because teaching schedule allows me to also coach and tutor and work on building my own homeschool curriculum packages to sell eventually.

 

I think many people say that but those who do usually don't understand the reason it's set up the way it is.

It's simple and cookie cutter for a reason. To help keep people from being overwhelmed. Being a finance minded person who worked in financial advising for a while I can attest to the fact that most people get so overwhelmed thinking about finance that they just don't bother. The KISS principle applies here.
I don't agree with every advice he has on investing. But his system is incredibly effective at helping people get financial traction.

As far as your situation the way an economist would look at it is the trade off in terms of the cost of the education and the increase in pay that it typically offers. But that's not always the only reason to get a degree. Unfortunately many people don't think this through and do actually end up with a degree that isn't very useful.

The whole point of financial freedom though is that you can have those degrees and choose to do the job you enjoy/or where you prefer to live that pays less rather than have to go look for a job that pays more because you haven't been living within your means.

My wife could make way more than she was different places near where we live But she doesn't have to. Because we have enough room to have the privilege of making that choice. And because of that she isn't as stressed working ER shifts on nights and weekends.

She doesn't have to because we have a level of financial peace.

 

I agree. DR advice is great but each individual needs to look at their own situation. Especially if you’re married to an addict you can’t trust. DR thinks couples will work together, but my husband wouldn’t, he would have spent every dime he could if I hadn’t managed our finances. I maxed out every retirement plan I could, because then my husband couldn’t spend that money. DR also thinks cash is king. Unfortunately I found most places didn’t care that I could pay cash. In fact, they preferred someone who would take out a loan. I follow most of what he advises. But I firmly believe you must have a great credit score and he believes you should never use credit. Of course, I lived in California most of my life where my first home was a fixer, and still cost $145k in 1992. That same home today is about $700k. If I had listened to him I wouldn’t have bought my first house. Or my second. Or my third. Lol. I’d still be renting.

 

So the cash is king/envelope system is created to help stop people from addictive and compulsive spending. Instead of swiping a card you see the money leave your hand and see the cash you have left in each envelope and in your
Budget. For someone learning to budget this is effective.

As far as credit scores I agree, and I think his stance comes from one of, if debt is something someone struggles with. They need to cut it out. Just like P for the addict. It might not make logical sense for the long term as sometimes having a good credit score is really nice to have. It in a way would be like me saying ok. Once I'm "P free" I can take a peek once in a while. A person who has a lot of credit card debt and has a hard time not compulsively buying things might be better not having a credit card or taking big loans out for brand new cars. The stance of not worrying about having a credit score is intended to stop people from their old habits. And it makes sense if you've ever heard his life story why he feels that way.

Good communication about finance is very important in a marriage. And for most couples it can be hard to do especially if the two don't have the same mindset.

I'm not aware of Dave ever saying that you shouldn't buy a house... Though he urges people to be in a good financial situation before buying.

As far as owning more than one house and renting them out. That's a long discussion about leveraging debt and how you can increase net worth by using debt as a tool. Dave was burned as a young man by doing this too much. But debt used the right way is incredibly effective. But I don't think it applies at all to my suggestions here.

For someone dealing with anxiety over finances his system is a great way to get started if you have a lot of debt and don't know how to change it.

Edit: your point about p addiction while working on a debt snowball is good. Finance in terms of a relationship requires a lot of good communication between both partners. And an addiction can sure put an extra twist into these issues making it virtually impossible to work together. In the end though a marriage that doesn't have financial stress has a better chance of succeeding. As finances are one of the main causes of divorce.

 

Lol yes! DR is perfect for someone like my husband. He was a compulsive spender and would use cc and only pay the lowest monthly. For someone like me, not so much.

 

I really like The Money Guy show on YouTube. Their advice is great. They fully are on board with the DR baby steps. But differ on certain things like not investing until you are completely out of debt. In most ways their advice is probably better. But I think Dave's simplistic way of doing it can be more effective in getting people started.

 

I’ll try him! I’m always up to learning new financial strategy. I think most people are not taught how to budget. My dad was insistent I know how to budget, spend, save. Including tithing first!

 

I moved this here. Psalm. This topic of finance is making me laugh at myself. This was something instilled in me by my father at a young age. The importance of financial responsibility. I am very financially disciplined. But I haven't been at all in my sexual deviancy. It's like I have lived in an oxymoron.

I don't think I've ever had a conversation about sex in any capacity with my Dad.

Sorry Warren for taking up space on your thread. If you have any more to express about you financial anxiety I'm more than willing to listen.

 

I like buying my wife gift cards to a salon that also offers massages. Gives her options if what she uses it on. It's my go to. She does love flowers though as well.

 

You aren't alone with the built up anxiety. It feels like I'm a tea pot about to blow over in those moments. Fortunately the same solutions work but just take more effort and self awareness.