watching psubs acceptable?

...pffff....I guess my fiancé would consider all of the above as a no-go if you are serious about getting rid of your addiction...and I would be hurt if he still did one/all of that even though he said he was going to be PMO free.
I think it is human nature to be intrigued, to want to look at it. It is also trigger behavior though, and will very likely lead to more and more obviously porny images/videos/...well, it will definitely not make him NOT want to look at porn.

As to how to combat this: if you mean yourself as a partner - talk to him, be honest but understanding (well, try...) and don't judge (again: try). You love him, you know this is an addiction and it is hard for him to overcome the urges...even to recognize his behavior as addictive behavior, to recognize triggers, etc.

How does he overcome this? I cannot answer this. But I am certain it will be much easier for him with your help. At least that is what my fiancé says to me. And that does not mean it is easy for him. Just that it is more bearable, more do-able.
I am sure there will be many guys who are in the process of overcoming, combating, conquering who will tell you how they are doing it.

Don't give up!

...sending hugs.

 

Hi Dire. @DireMerl. For the addict it is all the same. So, first thing, let's understand what every "porn addict" is addicted to. You might say, obvious: porn. You would be wrong. Porn addicts are actually porn induced dopamine addicts. Dopamine is a brain neurotransmitter associated with sexual pleasure response in the primitive portion of the human brain. When you talk about the behavior of watching those things on instagram and youtube you may want to alter your lingo and your way of conceiving what is happening. Those things are just buttons an addict pushes to get a dopamine fix. Porn is not just porn, for the addict fighting porn, it is porn substitutes, it is vanilla porn, porn fantasy, sexual fantasy, sex or porn memory, it is using any image that triggers a dopamine hit to get a dopamine hit, and in the quitting phase a lot of sexual imagery that society does not even deem pornographic will trigger. I used to jokingly say that in the quitting phase I could trigger on a toaster. If the addict is using youtube or instagram to get a dopamine hit, he or she is still just using. But, they might not know it. The addiction plays on our ignorance and it lies to us. The addiction can be starved to death, but the slightest amount of feeding it can keep it alive for years until, one day, nearly starved, it can talk the addict back into binging, or relapsing. You ask how to combat it. The answer is, no one can fight the fight for the addict, only the addict can fight it. It begins with three, difficult, words: I am addicted. The addict must admit the addiction is in charge of them and not the other away around. Hard to admit that. From there understanding the science helps a lot, so the problem should be studied. Understanding that overcoming addiction usually involves totally giving up whatever gets us high, forever, is also a difficult thought to embrace.

Hope this helps.

 

For me to recover I need to abstain from all sexual content even from youtube as it can bring triggers.

 

I don't think it's ok. You're still getting you're dopamine fix lusting over women. It might not be hardcore porn, but it has more or less the same effect on your brain. That's why you're going back to it.

 

The reboot is all about not using the path ways in your brain that the dopamine uses. so they fade away . Watching, thinking, doing anything that turns you on will slow or halt your progress.
Your doing what all of us do at the beginning of a reboot, looking for an excuse to get high on dopamine.

 

not acceptable. no twerking videos for you !!

 

If you're looking for material on a public domain i guess you're what we would say to be 'trawling' either consciously or passively, really depends on intent but its a bad habit that can escalate itself if you get desensitized and go looking for 'harder' and more readily available stuff if it dries up and you can't get your reliance on it sorted (if it gets to that stage)

In fairness, its perfectly natural to get slightly overwhelmed with those thoughts and go 'looking' for it, but its more concerning if you're putting yourself at risk of falling down the rabbit hole by being excessive or perhaps too engaged with the behaviour. Men and women have needs after all.

Talking to your other half about it is a good step if you have one, if not just someone close in your family you can talk to for accountability.

 

yea, its best to stay away from anything sexual as before full recovery the response to even minor stimuli is above normal levels