Relapsed after a 45 day streak and binging from more than a week!

Exactly, whenever I get the feelings to MO, I remind myself that the 15 seconds of joy I'll get isn't worth throwing away the days I've earned. V_Freedon, everytime you feel the urge, just "focus on your 3 foot world". Meaning, focus on what you can do rather than masturbating cause every day is a victory.

 

45 Days! Strong work! Keep this in mind: If you were to relapse every other day, you would be fapping 50% less!! Not bad. You will be successful if you don't give up! Lifelong journey brother. The fact you are aware and your PMO is not automatic will give you the ammo to beat this eventually!

Learn from the relapse and it will not be failure. Journal around the event. Why did it happen? What were you doing minutes before? hours before? days before? How was your diet? Were you exercising? Were you engaged in doing things you enjoy? etc. Dig deep with each relapse. It is an incredible opportunity to learn about yourself and ultimately grow stronger and become the warrior you intend to be. Head up! Stay strong brother.

Check out this golden post that will help you on your journey!
http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/my-top-tips-for-leaving-pmo-behind.35201/

 

Hey V_freedom,

You've already accomplished more than me and many others by getting to 45 days. You can get back on the wagon, I know it.

Don't worry about finding a girl to be with. It'll happen when it happens. The solution to your problem is inside yourself and by joining NoFap and quitting you've taken the most important first steps. When you're ready, it'll shine through and someone will recognise it. Look forward to that. Healing from your addiction and healing from your heartbreak will go together. There's no point trying to force it.

Good luck mate!

Andy

 

40+ days is a great accomplishment. I think it's essential that you celebrate your success so that it's not all doom and gloom.

If I think about the problems with alcohol that I've had, I used to focus on the # of continuous days that I'd avoided drinking. That was my obsession and gauge of success against the demon substance!

Yet while it was great if I got to 20 or 30 days, quite often when I did drink and my "counter" re-set to 0 I'd end up binging for days and get into a negative mind-set. "Now I'm back to square one - what a failure" etc.

What helped me more was to focus less on the # of continuous days and more of the # of days in a month. So for example last month I had 26 days clean and sober yet I didn't go more than several days without at least one drink. In the context of "days since" I'd have been beating myself up - but looking at "the month view" I could put my drinking into another context and think, "Wow, I'm not actually an alcoholic".

So while I am personally 100% committed to trying to reach 30 days with my own PMO goal (as I want to give my brain a chance to re-set), I also intend to ensure I track clearly what my successes are if I do fall down i.e. "I managed 6 days, relapsed, then 5, relapsed, then 8... - great I only had 2 days of PMO last month. What a change to how I used to be...".

 

That is your story! you are not your story! Your mind can cripple you. Move on. I know you are a high quality person. The good always attract the good! Be patient and you will have that girl... Stay strong! Win!

 

Same story dude. When Pmo came into my life, I lost everything. My girlfriend left me due to my Incredible wiredness.

All that Shit is now long gone. Am on day 199! Check my thread "celebrating 180 days of rebooting." You can do this!!!!!

 

I relapse after 118 days on after a cocaine binge, I PMO for 2 weeks, I almost OD'ed on coke from binging. I would snort a line and then look at porn, I went into a depression. Now I'm here almost a month later, and its getting better.

The thing about this addiction is it takes time to recover, a lot of time. Your not going to be healed after 45 days I'll tell you that right now, it takes months to recover, this is a lifestyle change. So PMO for as long as you want but eventually you'll get sick of it and when you do come back here and get a calendar and join the rest of us. Trust me, if you want a better life, this is definitely the way.

 

That can happen man after you've abstained for a while. But keep pushing through man, 45 days is a good start! That's some good progress, you know what to do but you just have to push through and do what you've done to be successful!

 

Yes but I can fully understand that.

Women often become so-called "Co-Addicts", which means that they are backing up the addicted partner and sacrificing their own life.

There are 3 possiblities how such a relationships develops:

1. Both stay together, in a mixture of happynes and unhappyness. He is sacricing his life to the addiction, she is sacrificing her life to him.
2. Both work on themselves and make real progress.
3. She leaves him and never looks back. Both are continuining on their own separate way.

In fact, if a woman is stable, then she wants a stable partner and doesn't want to be the mommy of an adult man.

I give you the advice to grow up and take responsibility for your life. You will see how you grow and how you become stable.
Then, new options will come into your life.

EDIT: 45 days are extremely good! Congratulitions! Remember back the time when you accomplished this and how good you felt. Focus on doing fulfilling things, and then you will soon get into a new streak again!

 

Sound like my situation.

I managed 37 days.

I fuckd up and have been binging for the last 26 days. Enough is a fucking enough.

I am true to God and believe my pledge with him that if i relapse i pay 25£ towards charity for each relapse. ... i gave 75 yesterday... physically went to give so i don't just keep it mental but know the actual feeling

 

Indeed, that's also my way with the sex addiction.
You can fall into two "operating modes":
- "binge mode": there you are crawling on the bottom, dependent on others, seeking for help
- "boss mode": there you are on top - dependent on yourself; doing, working, deciding, organizing --- living a fulfilled life.