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My story and a few questions after a few weeks

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Esc, Nov 7, 2015.

  1. Nov 7, 2015 #1
    Esc

    Esc New Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys,

    I've done no-PMO before but relapsed a couple years ago. I noticed that I was not at all sexually motivated to sleep with my girlfriend anymore, so I got back on the regime. We've broken up since then, and I avoided calling old hook-ups to get laid, so basically I've been abstinent for about a month now. I've recently started dating again and I've noticed that I am pretty much hard the entire date. Not only during a make-out session, but even while sitting across the table from each other.

    I'm hard as I type this, lol. My dick has a mind of its own at this point and refuses to take no for an answer. Luckily, I have a few second dates lined up for the next few days and I am sure that I will be getting laid within the next week or so, which is good.

    Some questions related to my experience so far:

    • I've gotten blue balls several times after dates. It kind of sucks. The ice-cold water approach has worked temporarily, but does this effect go away after a while or is it a permanent staple of the NoFap lifestyle?
    • Will I continue to have a permanent boner in between sexual encounters? I actually don't mind it. I prefer it to the idea of my body getting so used to not being hyper-aroused that my penis stops getting hard and atrophies.
    • I am concerned about nutting too fast after I start having sex again. Is this something that re-calibrates or does NoFap typically lead to faster ejaculation due to greater sensitivity to real sex forever?
    Thanks! Glad to be part of the movement again.
     
    Esc, Nov 7, 2015
    Esc, Nov 7, 2015
    #1
  2. Nov 7, 2015 #2
    SolidStance

    SolidStance Guest

    Not permanent, goes away.

    No permanent boner, sorry. That will balance out.

    Really IMO on the last one, depends on the person. Chances are it doesnt matter since you will surely have multiple rounds in one night. Each lasting longer than the one before it.


    Welcome back to the Squadron Esc. I look forward to serving with you.

    Edit: quick tip on the erection. If you change your mind and DO want it to rest for awhile, like at dinner, then suck in your gut as hard as possible. Your testicles will follow suit since the muscles are connected, and hold your breath in for as long as possible. This is a yogic breath to intensify meditation by reversing the flow of seminal fluid, but works for reversing the blood flow in your member.


    SolidStance, Brother in Arms to the Heirs of the Sun. Holding the Light for 25 days
     
    SolidStance, Nov 7, 2015
    SolidStance, Nov 7, 2015
    #2
  3. Nov 7, 2015 #3
    DisciplineYourMind

    DisciplineYourMind Fapstronaut

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    In answer to the three questions you asked: all those things are typical of post-relapse. They will fade as your streak becomes longer, or as you build up more streaks in a row. Even if you have two ten day streaks, that's the second best thing to one twenty day streak (always aim for the twenty, but I'm just making a point).

    Just some advice, but don't focus on the sex. Focus instead on how abstaining from PMO can make you better able to connect with those of the opposite sex. If for you this includes connecting on a sexual level, then cool, but don't make that your primary goal. If you make sex your primary goal, then in the end your brain is still craving dopamine, it's just getting it in a different way. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but you need more outlets for that sexual energy. All the best!
     
    DisciplineYourMind, Nov 7, 2015
    DisciplineYourMind, Nov 7, 2015
    #3
  4. Nov 8, 2015 #4
    Esc

    Esc New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys for the great replies. I suppose I'm not really a NoFap purist since I enjoy craving sexual contact with women. It's beautiful and makes me very happy, but only if undertaken with pure intentions. I was never really a super addict but I would masturbate to porn 5x a week at my worst, and it was my goto thing when feeling down or stressed, only to worsen the depths of that depressed feeling afterwards.

    I did feel it was making me a less motivated, sadder person, with less sexual interest in the woman I was intimate with at the time. So in a sense, a boost to my libido for real life women is what I want out of this, not necessarily a complete re-channeling of sexual energy into other hobbies or actions, etc. That was never really a major issue for me. I want to be able to give all of my sexual energy to the woman I am with, not part of it and certainly not under the influence and expectations of my brain on porn.
     
    Esc, Nov 8, 2015
    Esc, Nov 8, 2015
    #4

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