Porn abstinence = sobriety

I haven't considered using sober/sobriety to describe it.
My personal word of choice is "clean."

Stay clean.
Been clean for blah blah.
Going clean.
Etc.

 

Absolutely

Porn affects me just like a drug

The word sober to me means free

I only watch porn to MO

afterwards I feel physically depressed

It's a dopamine addiction

When I'm off of porn I'm abstinent

I believe if I achieve a brain reboot, I'll be sober

 

YES. And because I have to go beyond 10 characters. YES.

 

No, it is not a suitable word. Sobriety means freedom from alcohol. So the word sobriety has nothing to do with PMO. Not sure what the question is?

 

A Wiki is not a good source for definitions, or anything technical, for that matter. Using 2 mainstream dictionaries, one defines it as abstinence from alcohol, another gives the primary definition as abstinence from alcohol and a secondary definition of being "temperate, especially with liquor." In everyday language the overwhelming use is with alcohol and rarely is it applied to other drugs.

 

I don't know how many of you guys have used cocaine, but cocaine essentially squirts a shitload of endorphins and dopamine into your brain (hence why it's also addictive), and I find when I've been abstaining for a while and I view even one porn picture, it feels like I've just done a line.

Being away from porn is like getting clean from an awful drug.

 

Thank you for this thread Marvin

First, because I agree with your reason for asking the question that "fap" and "PMO" trivialises this subject. I find euphemisms inappropriate and acronyms unhelpful. Secondly, because your enquiry is supported by dictionaries, such as: http://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/sober states:

1. not drunk
2. not given to excessive indulgence in drink or any other activity
3. sedate and rational ⇒ a sober attitude to a problem
4. (of colours) plain and dull or subdued
5. free from exaggeration or speculation ⇒ he told us the sober truth

Evidently, meaning 2. is appropriate for your purpose - 'not given to excessive indulgence in any activity'.

 

I really do appreciate stygian's remarks about how sobriety may not be a good to describe abstinence from porn. I believe he made some valuable points about the origin of the word and how it was intended for alcoholism and drug addiction. Thank you stygian for your remarks.

That is actually part of the reason why I do use the word "sobriety" with my abstinence though. I do not seek to devalue the level of addiction that an alcoholic or drug addict faces. Although I've never faced either of those debilitating addictions, I do know that I am an addict to pornography and masturbation. I do know that I have had several suicidal thoughts due to my addiction. I do know that I struggle to grapple with the meaning of my life and what on earth am I worth to society, to God, and to myself. I use the term "sobriety" for own journey as a wake up call. The media has tried relentlessly to tell me that my addiction isn't unhealthy, but my sense of self-worth and ability to form connections with other human beings will attest to the contrary.

I do not wish to offend alcoholic or drug addicts by borrowing a phrase originally meant for them. But if I understand the inherent goodness of man the way I hope I do, they would be supportive and grateful that I am freeing myself from the bondage of my own destructive habits. They would not seek to horde a term for abstinence simply to maintain a sense of exclusivity of their experiences.

Everyone truly in recovery of any self-destructive behavior simply would like to cheer each other on lift one another up when we fall.

 

Ok, now I see what you were getting at. I do not think that "fap" and "PMO" make the abstaining process childish. In my mind addiction to porn = cocaine = marijuana = opioids = gambling = any other addiction. The terminology never had a negative connotation for me.

 

I think you missed the point that Marvin was making. P = porn, but what if people just wrote C for cocaine; M for marijuana; O for opioids; G for gambling; D for Drinking. I agree with Marvin that these words are powerful, whereas acronyms are a dilution and have less impact. I also agree with Marvin that "fap" is a frivolous euphemism and the word masturbation carries much more weight. Personally, I prefer to write out such words fully and not to use the laughable "fap" at all.

 

WORLD ENGLISH DICTIONARY
sobriety (səʊˈbraɪətɪ)

— n
1. the state or quality of being sober
2. the quality of refraining from excess
3. the quality of being serious or sedate

The usage of this word in relation to abstaining from porn and masturbation is totally appropriate. It's basically any state in which you've been able to abstain from some form of excessive behavior, not just alcohol.

I attend Sex Addicts Anonymous (S.A.A.)meetings and they regularly use the word "sober" to describe their current state.

 

I disagree entirely. I think the purpose these words serve is firstly to detach the terms from any sort of social awkwardness we might have towards words like masturbate and orgasm, making speaking candidly about our experiences much easier for some. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, it injects a much needed bit of frivolity to this process. It's so easy to get caught up in its seriousness, and whilst I do agree that PMO addiction is a significant and often extreme problem for a number of people, the premise of this forum is to offer a relaxed and empathic environment to seek advice and support. We're friends here, not therapists.

 

I disagree entirely. First, how can one feel socially awkward when we are on this site anonymously? We are socialising virtually, but not face to face. Anyway, most people on this site have a far more extensive sexual vocabulary than these words - after all, we are pretty much all porn addicts! Secondly, as for "perhaps more importantly, it injects a much needed bit of frivolity", I do not find that helpful. Masturbation has fucked up my life and I have tried to kill myself because of it. I do not find it funny and I do not consider those that do to be empathetic.

 

OK firstly I apologise if you took offence from what I said, I didn't mean it to come across in a mean way!

I just think for new members and from my own personal experience, I found it easier to use words like PMO rather than the actual terms because although it is anonymous, I still think it can be difficult at first to be completely open about these incredibly intimate details of your life. I understand this isn't true for everyone, but even if it helps a small number, it supersedes the disadvantage it causes us

As for your second point, I'm really sorry you've had to go through that, it hasn't been easy for me either, and I completely sympathise with your desire to approach this is a serious manner, but people react differently to situations like this. Again just going on personal experience, something that's helped push me past the period of depression and suicidal thoughts was the humour and friendship I encountered on this site. That's what makes us different from everyone else, it's what makes us stronger. That even in the face of this terrible thing, we can smile, join hands and believe that we're able to beat it

Sorry again if I came across as angry, I hope there's no bad feelings between us

 

Don't worry Jakob, you were not mean or offensive. Perhaps I need to apologise as I express my views very directly. That could give the impression that I am offended or angry I suppose. I take your point about the benefits of helping even a small number of our peers. If you have felt as badly about yourself as I have and found humour to be helpful, I cannot argue against that. I apologise if my direct comments seemed angry and I assure you that there are no bad feelings between us and we are comrades in arms!

 

Brothers till the end