Seeking for some guidance after failing so many times!! HELP!!

Hey mate, its ok

I fought with my addiction for 20 years before I figured out what I was allowing it to do to me. I have been trying to control it since I was 13. I'm 31 now.

Are you keeping yourself busy with hobbies and exercise? That is one of the keys to success, having no spare time and having outlets that lead to mental and physical exhaustion.

It wasn't until I had very little spare time during my week that I realised how much spare time I used to have. I used to fill that spare time with usless crap.

We cannot control our erections. Though some may say you can train your brain, I disagree. If you are mentally and physically tired it will influence the frequency and intensity of erections, but only if it is due to mental and physical exercise. Don't try sleep deprivation like I did, it just creates a lot of issues.

The other thing to consider is discipline and how to foster this as part of who you are. Doing things that are hard or challenging, repeatedly and consistently, will have a strong contribution to the development of discipline.

 

Thank you again for sharing.

I replaced M with regular weight training sessions, every second day, at the gym. I also took up 3 different hobbies, 3 nights a week, that occupied me between 1 and 2 hours per night. These are social hobbies that require some level of social interaction or, at the very least, being amongst a group of people.

Part of what we experience through M is a very strong and compulsive introspective focus. This perpetuates an egotistic sense of self whereby our sole focus is to please ourselves to the detriment of everyone around us, including our own selves. The effect this has is that we loose interest and an ability to relate to other human beings at even a basic level, let alone within an open social context. This results in us focusing more on rewarding ourselves through M rather than healthy human contact. It rewires our brains.

The delay of development of common social skills is part of a degenerative vicious cycle that keeps us locked into our addictions. The longer it goes on, the harder it is to work our way out of it. But it is not impossible, it just requires discipline and determination. To develop these we need to fight to maintain regular attendance to the commitments we have made outside our usual routines - those activities I mentioned in my first paragraph.

The only hobby you mentioned is reading novels. Though this is a great thing to be doing, our minds need a variety of stimuli in order to maintain a healthy balance. Studying is a chore unless you love what you are doing. TV is a very inefficient distraction full of triggers and is not a hobby. Because it is a passive distraction, that is to say, you just sit there watching, it doesnt feed your brain what it needs to be stimulated. The result of all of this is your mind creates its own stimulus based on past experiences, in your case P.

There are ways of addressing your energy levels. You have demonstrated you can go 6 days without M. That is fantastic! That is more than enough time to begin getting used to exercising. How much are you eating and are you getting enough nutritional value from your food? Use websites and phone apps to start calculating your caloric intake and understand what your body needs to stay energised. Use this to provide your body with enough energy to exercise. You need to be sleeping a good amount of hours for any of this to work.

To sum things up:

1. Stay busy and stimulated
2. Consume the right nutrients and enough energy though your diet
3. Exercise regularly and consistently
4. Ensure you give your body enough time to rest and recover though regular sleep or naps if you need to

 

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Please see my thread about the power of seed

 

Same problem here.
Only thing that helps is reset and press on.