problems with fear and cowardice

Just some thoughts:

There are several different types of confrontation:

If you are surprised by sudden, dangerous force like being mugged, allowing a possession to be stolen rather than to endanger your very life by resistance isn't necessarily cowardice - there's a certain wisdom here of life being more important than money or possessions.

If two men (even strong men with equal deadly force ability) were to be faced with a potential conflict over something that's meaningless and inconsequential, should one man choose to run from such conflict, he may be errantly labeled as a coward when in fact he is not - there's no wisdom behind injuring or losing life of oneself or causing the same to another over something stupid and fool hearty. This is a principle in martial arts even. Even a lion knows not to mess with a wild boar and risk injury or loss of life.

Also, in civilized society, many adult conflicts necessitate police involvement, and ordinarily that should be a first approach whenever this is possible, rather than to resort to self-help or physical force.

Other situations where the confrontation is serious and there's no way to get away and allow police intervention or to prevent life from being harmed, then perhaps there could be a need for self-defense or defense of another, but how often does this really happen? - and even here a hero may still experience some initial fear, and this would not be cowardice. Fear could very well be a mechanism pulling one toward appropriate action, rather than disproportionate retaliation that would be fool hearty.

Of course, in a war of words, where many face conflicts without the threat of escalating into physical fighting, there may be times where it is more appropriate to speak up and defend oneself or another, especially if an outright defaming lie is being propagated. In lesser instances, sometimes it's more wise to ignore and keep silent and let buffoons fall into their own gossip traps and lunacy, which often comes back to bite them.

Maybe you need not be so harsh on yourself as you grow into and discover the worth of true character over any potential self-centered vainglory or narcissism, the latter of which is often fodder for PMO , even, when we don't feel good about ourselves in areas where we should be seeking the opposite virtues anyway.

Best wishes!

 

Hey man, if you ever figure out the key to loving yourself, let me know. I'm a reasonably healthy guy mentally, emotionally in touch and mature, but I still hate that lame bastard in the mirror for all his weaknesses and failings.

It's stupid. I know it's stupid. It's a lot of bitterness for no good reason... and it's bitterness that I have to allow to become sorrow, and then acceptance... but I have no idea how.

Hopefully we'll figure it out eh?

 

Humans have "fight or flight" responses ingrained into our DNA, maybe you just don't have a strong fight complex. I'm no psychologist/psychiatrist but my logic works that if you desensitise your self to things that bring fear, like pain or spiders or creepy things or spiders, then you should be able to handle these situations better. I don't know how you'd go about it but that's just my unprofessional opinion.
Getting annoyed can suppress the urge to give up, at least in my case.

 

I myself have anger issues ,but I have bin mugged before and I didn't recognize the person that I was then. I felt ashamed , fear is not something you should let overpower you be strong. Next time you are faced with a situation don't over think it , just be safe and react in a respectable manner .. Also know there is time to run and allow things just happen.. Live by the sword and die by the sword ...

 

I am a different kind of coward, the kind that always runs away (figuratively) from difficult situations. The problem is that I cannot change my nature to be stronger just by wanting it. But there always come times when we have a choice to do the right thing or not. You only have two choices. Hope that when that time comes, you will find the courage to do the right thing.