Sex And Rebooting?

Kyle Barker · Nov 19, 2015

This stems from a question I asked in my other thread....if there's another thread on this, point me to it please.

I'm in a great 3 year relationship with my girlfriend. We haven't had actual sex for a while, which is what prompted me to come and join here, partially. I haven't masturbated to porn since last Thursday, although I did have my masturbation slip up yesterday morning, no porn or anything. Just me foolishly "making sure my dick still worked" as I told myself. With that being said, my girlfriend has already expressed she wants to have sex and get her needs met. I'm trying to reboot. How can this happen? Or can it?

I'm thinking of only having sexual contact with her, of course, and abstaining from any PMO or MO when solo. Is that conducive to a reboot? I don't know what to do. We "eliminated" the sexual focus of our relationship for a while to get back into a more intimate place and work on our relationship to get through our rough patch and now we are in a much better place and she wants sex again. I can't blame her. I want sex too!

Help. I've already gotten an opinion on this and was looking for some others as well. I have acknowledged I need to be free from PMO, which I'm working towards, but having a partner that is used to having sex or being sexual pretty frequently is throwing this for a loop.

So I guess this is the start of day 2 of no MO and a week of no PMO.

All Married · Nov 19, 2015

It's your choice, I'm doing hard mode with no O whatsoever but I have the circumstances.
Remember your GF has needs and you don't want her thinking you don't find her attractive. You could tell her about your reboot and then she may understand and support you in hard mode.
Or if you fulfill her needs just be carfull of the chaser effect.

More info here:
http://www.nofap.com/rebooting/

Kyle Barker · Nov 19, 2015

What do you mean chaser effect?

Boomer49 · Nov 19, 2015

See Chaser Effect in Pitfalls at http://www.nofap.com/rebooting/

Hero One · Nov 19, 2015

@Kyle Barker

Hi Kyle - I sympathise. While me and my girlfriend (at the time - we're married now) weren't having sex when I was going through my beating PMO phase, we were still engaging in intimate times - I eventually had to 'let her in' onto my NoFap PMO journey, which she was very understanding of.

It might seem crazy - or you may already have done so. But have you considered talking about your NoFap journey with her? I really admire you committing to getting into a more genuinely intimate place with her - that's only going to draw you closer together. But if you're holding back what is an important sexual aspect of the relationship from her, she may be confused as to why, unless you're open with her about your journey.

Wherever you're at though Kyle, remember you're doing an amazing thing by wanting to better yourself. It's a hard road, but I can genuinely say your relationship will improve because of it.

All the best,

H1

Kyle Barker · Nov 19, 2015

Hero One said: ↑

@Kyle Barker

Hi Kyle - I sympathise. While me and my girlfriend (at the time - we're married now) weren't having sex when I was going through my beating PMO phase, we were still engaging in intimate times - I eventually had to 'let her in' onto my NoFap PMO journey, which she was very understanding of.

It might seem crazy - or you may already have done so. But have you considered talking about your NoFap journey with her? I really admire you committing to getting into a more genuinely intimate place with her - that's only going to draw you closer together. But if you're holding back what is an important sexual aspect of the relationship from her, she may be confused as to why, unless you're open with her about your journey.

Wherever you're at though Kyle, remember you're doing an amazing thing by wanting to better yourself. It's a hard road, but I can genuinely say your relationship will improve because of it.

All the best,

H1
Click to expand...

I let her in on my issues. She seems understanding, but still is human with needs....so....that's that I guess.

Kyle Barker · Nov 19, 2015

And thank you I am trying my best, which is all I can do! Lol

Tien · Nov 19, 2015

having a girlfriend can rule out wanking

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