Finished a marathon! + What I learned from my 45 day streak and 3 week relapse.

OK guys, first thing first. I finished a full marathon yesterday! My first ever 42K! And it was such a wonderful experience. I had been extremely depressed since the last seven months and quit running for about three months or more. But then I gradually got the courage to get back up, trained for 3 weeks and just did it!
Now, here's what I've learned so far!
I started nofap on September 11, 2015. My life was going down since years. I was going through extreme failures in my life and academics. My girlfriend left me and my behavior got worse and worse after that. I kept texting her even three years after breakup! Nothing was working. Nothing! I was extremely suicidal. My friends started disrespecting me. I was once the most important guy to them. Now they treat me like shit because of my own faults maybe, I don't know! I just didn't knew what to do. I don't have a college or a job. I pursue distance education, thanks to a lot of my failures! So I've been just sitting at home since years now. Fapping at every single opportunity I get. And one day I came across a few documentaries on YouTube about dark side of porn. I watched such videos and stuff for 3-4 days and that's it! I suddenly found out about this website. I made an account and started researching more on the porn addiction. I completed 30 days on hard mode (I've never had sex) but didn't see any benefit. I was online all day, reading what people post in the forums. I realized that I'm just replacing PMO with this website. So I decided to go offline and attempt nofap on my own. I was able to manage myself for next 15 days but then I gave in to my temptation and MO'ed! Then the next day, I did it again! And again! Then the porn creeped in! I was now PMO'ing. All the previous habits came back! So after third week of relapse I decided this is it! I've had enough now. I don't wanna adopt this shitty lifestyle again. I came back online on this site and started posting. Its just the 5th day of my second attempt and I've finished a marathon! Just a week ago, I didn't knew if I can do it. I didn't want to!
So here's my ultimate lesson:
It's not about quitting PMO. it's about finding your true self. Who you truly are! What's the purpose of quitting PMO if all that you do is stay online on this website? It's stupidity...
Streak's are not forever! If you relapse, just get back on track!
90 days don't heal you. Your mindset does! Therefore, I've marked the date I started this journey - September 11th! And it's been 72 days so far. I'm proud of it.
Don't hate your pain! It can be your ultimate teacher.. sufferings will take you closer and closer to your reality and once you get there, you're gonna love it so much!
After 30 days, when I started doing things on my own, I found peace in Eckhart Tolle's teachings. I started to read his book and watch videos to get over my ex GF. but then it ultimately lead me to Buddha's teachings! Now, I'm a peaceful follower of Buddha's teachings. Not religion! Just teachings.. I'm following Buddha's path - the path that he left for us 2500 years back!
Forget the girls. Just enjoy being yourself first! Be complete, be content with yourself. And then if there's comes a girl in your life, just enjoy your time with her...
Last, but the most important!
The most important law of this universe is Impermanence!
Nothing lasts forever - you, your pain, your sufferings, your achievements, your addiction, your love, your anything is destined to come to an end one day! Even your bones don't last forever! So never ever attach yourself to anything... know that everything in this world is temporary and enjoy your time with it! Just live for today... who knows if tomorrow death comes...
Peace,
Buddhist athlete

 

Thank you @Buddhist Athlete . Your post waked up the positive energy inside me. Ofcourse, our life is too short to just fap it away. We gotta go out there and make things happen, rather than sitting before a glowing screen and losing our male energy to pixelated girls.

 

Nice, I myself just finished a marathon as well and if I can accomplish that feat then anything is possible! Excellent inspiration, thanks for posting!

 

Woah man... I'm very sorry to disappoint you guys.. but I relapsed today itself! Just a few hours after writing this post.. maybe due to the extremely high testosterone levels after finishing a marathon?? Idk! But that's OK! I've not given up.. its just one day in my life.. gonna start all over again! I was highly stressed too due to some personal stuff! I PMOed thrice today.. that never usually happened even when I was addicted.. maybe my body is still in the mode to release its energy! But what's gone is gone.. renewed energy... thanks for your messages and sorry if I disappointed you!