New girl; I hope I can give and get help :)

Hi SilverLiningsPlaybook, Does 'Hard Mode' mean no 'O' whatsoever, I suppose I'm on a similar path if that is indeed what that refers to....
I'm on a break from my non-progressing Uni Studies, so I won't go back and look up the glossary, if that's even available... anyhooo......I joined NOFAP on Wednesday last week after PMO, the guilt etc that followed and the viewing of the Gary Wilson (your brain on porn) [is that right?] TEDx talk concerning P, novelty and dopamine.
8 weeks is really extraordinary. Well done. Today is day 8 since I last PMOed. Today I've been trying to interpret instructions for a proposal I have to organise by Monday-week for Uni and I've been stumped, but PMO triggers have still been easy to avoid. Yesterday was the most difficult day. It wasn't that I nearly succumbed, but the triggers were apparent every time I turned around and it all felt really unpleasant...Even after reading a lot of posts here and in other places on the web, that talk about 'superpowers' and some sort of sexual-advantage in the world of partner-sex that will evolve after a Reboot, I don't know where this abstinence will go for me. I've been an MO and PMO (there seems to be a clear line drawn by Gary Wilson and others that excessive-masturbation-addiction began with high speed internet porn) addict for most of my life (I'm 43), and there is absolutely no health to my sexuality. It has been completely consumed by PMO, and although I am educated in the culture of modern sexuality (because I would read ANYTHING with even the mildest sexual content to MO 'to') I can't really identify with it, as I only view sexuality through the harmful prism of PMO ............Oh well..back to the study.....
Good Fortune SilverLiningsPlaybook ....back to the brainstorming.....

 

Well, kudos to the both of you for taking it on in hard mode. Once we find our true motivation it's much easier to suppress the urges and steer clear of the triggers. I'm a couple of weeks into this and am dealing with PIED. I'm married and my wife is on board with my recovery. She knew I had a collection of "girlie" picture, don't think she knew how deep the P part really went. But, that's all gone now, deleted and cleared out of the trash. Google is search restricted and I spend a fair amount of time here expressing myself and sharing with other... just like this.

*B49*

 

The motivation to make changes has been evident since I started using internet P, but something clicked last week. A moment of clarity where I accepted that I needed (community) help, rather than (egotistically) relying on my own voice, to motivate staying on this path, which has not worked the dozens and dozens of times before.
Part of the change is letting go of, what I see as, secular philosophies, such as those espoused by Betty Dodson, where Masturbation is not only OK, but is promoted as some sort of revolutionary act. I'm sure Betty has her heart in the right place, but accepting that view that Sex and Sexuality Can be taken by the individual as a mechanism without boundaries (the lack of ethics in Fantasising), was, for me, really damaging. In our culture, the concept of Universal Constants, when applied to something as complex as sexuality, seems to imply that we are all ruled by the same parameters. In regards to Men's Health, though I'm sure there are similar theories constructed for Women's Health, we are informed that regular ejaculations will help prevent prostate cancer, but with my PMO addiction, although I could be sure I wouldn't be getting prostate cancer for a couple of hundred years, the quality of that life with a Lesser Risk Factor, would not be very happy or fulfilling.
I'm not overly religous, but perhaps my experience with addiction (PMO to the exclusion of anything else) suggests that there is a practical reason that a lot of mainstream religions forbid Masturbation (The sin of Onan in Christianity describes "Spilling your seed on the ground" or something). It depends whether or not one subscribes to the belief that the Emporer Constantine's Council of NIcea accurately interpreted God's Will ( the Modern Bible), or were they Men with Problems, editing the text with the assumption that any issue is a common issue?
Today is Day 9 - Feelin' Fine

 

Welcome new girl. I wish you the best of luck in beating this addiction and hope you'll feel like new after it

Stay strong!

Mike

 

BCM,

Giving blanket permission has it's consequences as we are all experiencing. Great post.

*B49*