my nofap diary and check day thread. + accounatability

day 1 36 mins since I failed.

I feel as though I have improved as my access to videos has been greatly reduced I might see a 30 second video a giff or some images each few days that I count as a relapse. where in the past I would have watched videos for hours.

each time I fail I do something extra to prevent it e.g. downloading cold turkey, k9, joining Nofap I have probably failed 30+ times I fell like nofap might be the straw to break porn addictions back as I will be motivated to post here and keep you guys updated I do not want to let you down.

some notes I don't really have pied and my anxiety is quite low on my journey I think i have improved but I am not gone from the addiction.

as a side note my parents use my email so I would not like to receive anything from here to my email Is this possible if so how.


also today my dad asked if I was on drugs my brain fog must be really bad I have never done drugs in my life porn must be damaging although it could be from my disability. I am vey tired today and it seems to be a result of porn as I have that typical head ache I always get when failing.

day one almost over I feel really tired and out of it with some craving's and flashbacks I believe this might be the beginning of the flat line.

 

thank you

 

day 2 minor triggers possible my anus feels a bit weird possibly the prostate same with penis i did m through prostate fingering recently which may be the cause I am feeling less tired which suggests I wasn't in a flat line but felt shity after relapsing on porn.

I had a insane night last night I experience insomnia causing me to be partially sleep deprived I really hope this stops. and last night I thought about sex with she males and gays quite a bit even though I am not gay. I slowly precame in my pants for hours last night I guess this is withdrawal at the start on the night I did get excited remembering my higher streaks in the the past.
I am getting triggered really easily I am getting erections from reading information on your brain on porn.

 

day 3 I still didn't get enough sleep I needed especially considering the lack I got the previous day however it was an improvement. this morning I did think about sex only a small bit of the thoughts were gay even though I am not gay.

my penis seems to have shrunk which is great news as it is possible single that the flatline will occur or is occurring which may explain tiredness I've been experiencing.

 

day 4 I have been touching my penis a bit to stretch its foreskin. which obviously as tiny negative effects was researching foreskin and sow a guy jacking off and a guy with a penis pump I didn't really look at it isn't a relapse since it wasn't intentional but I believe it had a negative effect as well as touching my own penis which I may continue to do to fix foreskin.
I need to stop researching foreskin I know what to do.
I am also sweating like crazy and have been quite apathetic
also I need an early night.

warning next sentence likely highly triggering.

I was curious to know what hypno porn was as someone mentioned it so I searched for the definition I am now highly triggered.

 

I relapsed so day 1 again I had a buzz in my head form the porn and still do now its kind of like a headache last relapsed 7/12 2015 11:52 am my time

 

relapsed binged 1230 am 8/12/2015
I am going to leave this site as I am leaving the internet

 

so day 4 today I had more energy for a short amount of time and it felt like brain fog left for a very short time as well but still flat line with brain fog. and im on high alert this is usually when I relapse.

 

so day 5 I had a dream where I ejaculated to masturbation as well as porn it wasn't a wet dream though. I have quite a bit of sexual tension hopefully m body will naturally deal with this through wet dreams.

 

it doesn't cover the head when flaccid but I know it should be able to as it stretches when I get a erection so I am trying to make it cover the top.

 

Hmm no, he is not circumcised. He is talking about stretching his "foreskin" - big clue that, lol!

 

is it possible that was partially circumcised

 

day 6 found out shit news feeling tired sad and getting porn urges on the plus side I had a dream and in the dream I chose not to watch porn if that means anything.

 

day 8 really tired my parents don't let me get to bed until late and wake me up early with light and noise not sure what to do about it worried as tiredness leads to failure.

 

day 1 again feeling not terrible

 

last failed 8:52 pm 18/12/2015