i think i'll end up fapping this weekend

You don't have to, you know - you can choose differently THIS TIME - which then empowers you for next time when faced with the same choice.

Anger can be dealt with in lots of other ways that are better for you. Take a deep breath, go outside, look at the stars, go for a walk.

I hope you can find some peace and calm.

 

Stress is the main trigger for addicts - that we can already say we KNOW. Here is one of the studies that confirms this.

Pointing this out, what you are going through is not a rational process.. You could say it's "the addiction talking". And it's also predictable. Every time you will feel relatively significant amounts of seemingly uncontrollable stress you will feel attracted to PMO like you've never felt attracted to it before.

In fact, if you want to get a streak of a few months, and if you have a normal life, chances are you will probably have to learn how to expect this and also resist the urge despite of the best advice from your reason to just PMO.

If you PMO now, you WILL regret it later. You will see that PMOing solved nothing, and also it wasn't really a free decision - it was just your brain reacting to stress in a predictable way.

 

Its a choice. You either give in, soak your brain in dopamine and fap or you fight the mental fight and do another day. You will regret it. The urges will pass.

 

Trust me dude, you don't have to do it. I was exactly where you are maybe three or four time last week and each time I was so seduced by the idea of MO that it was almost like I had done it already and if I didn't I wouldn't be right. And guess what! I didn't do and I am not on day 34 HARDMODE. This is extremely difficult but so is life and just getting through another five minutes is what it is all about

 

There's only one way out of the shitty porn cesspool.... Stay clean... Period.

 

Good... let the hate flow through you....

Seriously though, let your frustration and anger motivate you.

 

I don't know about you, but I feel like everything has a rational explanation What I was referring to in the part of my post that you've quoted was basically that the emotions and the accompanying thoughts urging one to PMO during stressful situations (frequently dubbed as "the urge") is, contrary to how it might seem, not based on rational decision making, but is a consequence of a very predictable example of causality; addict under stress feels an urge to "use".

Understanding the above can better equip the addict to truly make a rational decision in such cases - i.e. what is in the long term interest of the addict (instead of doing what feels good in the moment, for the sake of doing something that feels good in the moment).

You are very welcome

I do as well.. I guess what I am referring to in my nickname is that I in fact made love only with one of them (the right one) - ergo I love one of my hands. I hear though that some like to vary, or even sit on the left hand so that it feels like somebody else is giving them a handjob

 

That is usually because when there is too much present existence around you, you quickly forget about the people who you are not dealing with at the moment. I was angry about friends hardly reacting to long e-mails of mine before as well, but now I understand that I only wrote these long texts because I was living in my head. Now I can accept that they didn't feel like replying much to this kind of stuff.