The Open Ended Rejection Challenge

Introduction:
For some time I am looking for good ideas of getting out of my comfort zone. First I started with cold showers, but after a few months of them, they are actually not really out of my comfort zone anymore. The other day I was lurking on nofap and found an interesting thread, written by Iggy: 30 Day Rejection Challenge.

First thoughts:
This guy is crazy. But so am I, came the reaction After googling about the rejection challenge, it turned out that there are very few who try it and they have a lot of fun. As I consider it something benefitial for me, I will try it as well. I intend to get a rejection every single day.

Why?

• It is funny, simple and almost impossible. Wait, what? Impossible? Sounds like a challenge!
  
• I want to learn that most of my fears are without any reason
• I want to be able to just move to somebody and tell him/her what I think, without hesitation
• Getting out of my comfort zone, this is where real life begins
• I will have a lot of funny stories to tell my friends, my dates or I'll just have some funny memories to cheer me up on a bad day
• I will bring some happy moments by my unexpected requests to my "victims" life
• Unexpected requests bring unexpected responses, I may face some very nice surprises during this challenge

General rules

• The rejection approaches have to be legal, ethical and possible by the laws of physics.
• It is preferable to get rejected by strangers (this is not too strict).
• I will try out many planned ideas, but unplanned rejections also qualify (from my everyday life)

Need help
I am open for suggestions, what to try and I'll keep you posted about my "results".

Last thoughts
Special thanks to Iggy for having the guts accepting this challenge and writing about his experience on NoFap

 

Here is a list of my current ideas:

• Try to borrow a dog from a stranger
• Ask a stranger to read for me from a book I give him/her. Level 2: With a different accent?
• Ask a random girl from the street to give me a neck-massage
• Buy 10 roses and give every single one to strangers
• Try to give 5€ to 5 different strangers from the street
• Ask a stranger to buy some food to a homeless person
• Go up to someone or a small group eating and ask if I can join them
• Ask a guy if you can honk their car horn.
• Ask the police to make a picture with me sitting on the drivers seet of the police car
• Ask for directions to a place very far away (Tokyo?)
• Ask a stranger to let me send a text message from their phone
• Ask a random girl from the street if I can play her a song on the guitar

The list will be updated as I get new ideas, feel free to bring me new suggestions, I truly apreciate them

 

Day 1

• First attempt: Ask someone to join the rejection challenge

I asked a friend of mine if he would like to join me in the rejection challenge. I knew he is in for many crazy stuff, so I had a 50% chance to get rejected, but I didn't really expected a yes. I think he saw through my intention of wanting to get rejected and he told: okay, I'm in. I was surprised, even told him, I expected a no, so I need to look for another rejection... "Nailed it xD" he answered...

• Second attempt: Request a free copy of an online item (eg. e-book)

I wrote an email to the author of an ebook I wanted to have. I don't know the guy, but I asked him if I could get a free copy of the document. As beeing a complete stranger I thought, this one is an easy rejection. I was wrong, today morning the pdf was in my inbox...

• Bonus: Random rejection from my every-day life

Well, this one was not meant to be part of the challenge, but qualifies anyway. So there is this girl I have a crush on. I texted her, she answered a smiley, but when I asked her how is she doing, she just stopped answering. In this case I didn't whished at all to get rejected, but even if it's a passive one, it is definitely still a rejection...

 

Day 2

• First attempt: Give some sweets to strangers

To warm up a bit, during my lunchbreak I thought I may offer a chocolate to a stranger. Easy task, but in Germany there are some grumpy, suspicious old persons, so I thought, there is a chance for a rejection with this approach. I was wrong, the old lady I thought may reject me, was actually very happy, when I asked if she would like to have a bounty. Maybe this made her day Also part of this task I offered two foreign girls chocolate bonbons, they looked very confused on each other, like "he? why?". But they accepted the offer. I handed them the sweets and went home.

• Second attempt: Try to drive in the drivers cabin on the subway

As I go to work by bike, I don't travel often by public transport. Yesteday I had to get to a prayer group, and I thought, this is a good chance to try the ideas which I wanted to do on the subway.
I positioned myself to the place where I expected the driver cabin will be. In the station where I started my trip, the driver has to get out of cabin to see all the camera images. I asked him if it may be possible to drive a few stations together with him. He was smiling and telling me, that it is forbidden, due to the people who may jump in front of the train. Well this is kind of protecting me I guess, but I would be more pleased with security reasons Anyway I got my rejection from the driver, I was happy for taking the courage of asking him

• Third attempt: Ask a random girl for a Walz on the subway

This was definitely the most difficult for me yesterday. I was hesitating a lot, which doesn't make my task easier. So on my way to the prayer group, in the station where I had to get out of the subway was some classical music. I thought, it's ideal for a Walz. I had no courage to ask any of the girls staying alone. I was walking up and down like 10 minutes or so, but it was too difficult for me.
During the meeting, one of my AP asked me how was the dance. I told myself hey, I have to do it, whatever it may cost! So on my way home I was still hesitating quite a lot, but in the last seconds, before I had to get out, I asked this girl listening very loud to her music:

Me: Hey, I just wonder if you may dance a few steps Walz right here right now?
She: Sorry WHAT?!
Me: Would you like to dance a bit of Walz here in the train?
She: (smiling) No thanks
Me: Well, I thought so, but I still wanted to ask you
She: You are funny (laughing and going home)

Hell, this was difficult, but afterwards I had a similar feeling like after my very first cold shower: THIS IS AWESOME! I was happy for asking her this really unusual question, but I also hoped she will refuse me, otherwise it would be even more awkward.

• Bonus: Random rejection from my every-day life

I offered yesterday to a new member to be APs, although I new it's not the best idea to support opposite genders. I told her this, but still offered if she doesn't mind having a male AP, she should let me know. She rejected it very kindly.

Conclusion of the day
I learn through this challenge that all of my fears all only in my head and noone will shoot me for just asking something. The old lady and the girls were a bit confused with the chocolate, but I think I made them smile, so it was already worth. The driver of the train was not considering me a terrorist for asking to drive with him, but answered very nicely, he even smiled, so I think he appreciated my question. I may have broken his monotony of driving up and down the whole day in a dark tunnel. The girl who didn't want to dance was also surprised but I made her laugh. It is actually really funny to see the reaction of each person when I approach them with a completely unexpected offer. This gives me the motivation to continue my challenge

 

Day 3

• First attempt: Ask a random guy from the street for help to repair my car

Today I wanted to repair some stuff on my car, so after work, on my way home, I aksed a guy who was out with his dog if he could help me to repair some coolant loss. I was hesitating a little when I saw him, but then I told myself: "what are you waiting for? ASK HIM!". He was on the other side of the road, and I was looking at him, he stoped walking and I asked him. He didn't really looked surprised and came up very fast with an explanation that he isn't good in cars Well I need no excuse, I need just a rejection, but my victims have no idea about this

• Bonus: Random rejection from my every-day life

I planned to meet some friends in a pub for a good talk. I invited another guy, who usually isn't in this group, but he refused, because he was too tired.

• Third attempt: Order something in a restaurant that is not on the menu

Usually I order one of two drink. At this place where we've met yesterday I know they have none of my two favorites. I intended to orded them anyway, as part of the challenge. When I arrived I thought, well I could even eat something, so I wanted to get a meal, they don't have on the menu. The waitress was quit unpatient and told me very unfriendly that I have to order something from the menu. I didn't want to annoy her even more, so I just skipped my two favorite drinks, and ordered a glass of jouice I knew they have... Well this rejection kind of annoyed me, because she was too unfriendly and in my opinion she was unprofessional with her answer, so I thought, she may get some kind of rejection as well: No tip for yesterday. She said a disapointed "thank you" when I left her nothing extra I know it was mean from me, but I don't care

Conclusion/Question of the day:
It is interesting, that even for an unexpected and somehow shameless question people can't say just no, they want to explain why they can't. It is the same for me actually, but why do we feel neccesary to explain why we can't or don't want to do something? It won't change the situation at all, and the "poor guy" (me ) will still need to repair his car...

 

Day 4

• First attempt: Try to play rock-paper-scissors with strangers

I thought this is an easy task. But I saw that I still hesitate before stopping somebody on the street. Anyway I asked two guys. One was with his dog, and he rejected me, because he has "an urgent appointment". When he's with his dog?! Sure! Well, I got what I wanted, I could ride my bike further. Second guy:

Me: Hey, would you like to play with my rock-paper-scissors?
He: (looks really confused, doesn't have any idea what to think)
Me: Do you know the game?
He: No.
Me: No you don't want to play, or no, you don't know the game?
He: (still no idea what's just happening)
Me: Well you know ... (I started to explain the game, but then he managed to overcom his first shock)
He: Why do you want that?
Me: Just for fun, no risk, or anything.
He: Ehhh, no thank
Me: Thanks, have a nice evening
He: Bye

• Second attempt: Great a nun with "Praise Jesus Christ"

In eastern Europe, where I come from, it's not unusual to great priests or nuns with "Praise Jesus Christ", but in Germany I have never heared this a single time. So I continued my ride to the church and I saw a nun comming from the other direction, while I was still thinking about my first attempt. So quite randomly I greeted her. She replied something, but I don't know what, because I didn't stop to chat with her, I just went further. I think she answered the appropiate answer, so I don't think I got my rejection, but she may have had a story to tell her sisters that a young crazy guy from the bike greeted her, so the youth is not that hopeless like they thought.

• Bonus 1: Random rejection from my every-day life

I wanted to take a seat in the community, and someone told me, hey, that's my place (it was kind of rude, because the seat was free). I was looking for another seat, but I was not that annoyed about this, I thought, great an unexpected rejection.

• Bonus 2: Random rejection from my every-day life

I was with my bike in the community (like 20 minutes ride). It is around 0-5 degrees Celsius outside. One of the girls asked me if it's not cold to ride the bike. I told her, she should take every morning a cold shower and she would be more resistent for the cold weather. She said: That's impossible, no way BRRRRRRR. It was fun to not give a f about what others think. Before I was thinking people will think I'm weird and a freak by taking cold showers. Now I don't care. Anyway she rejected my suggestion of taking cold showers so I'm one step further in my challenge

Conclusion:
I learn slowly that people don't reject me, they reject my crazy proposals. It has nothing to do with me. They would reject anyone with similar offers.

 

Day 5

• First attempt: Tell a friend about the rejection challenge

It is a very similar one like asking a friend to join the challenge. I was telling in my group of friends the last few days about the challenge and I thought many will say it's BS. Well one of them even said that, so it's kind of a success. But after I started to explain why is it important to me to do the challenge, actually all of them said, hey, this isn't that crazy at all! Even the guy who told me it's BS First all of them looked at me like "you're even crazier than I knew", but actually all of my friends were looking for something deeper behind asking stupid stuff from strangers. Actually for almost each of them came the moment when they told: "Hey, this is awesome!" or: "I may give it a try as well!". There was one person who gave no reaction. I think she didn't wanted to be disrespectful, so by not saying anything she showed her opinion on this

• Bonus: Random rejection from my every-day life

I don't know if this counts, as it was not meant to be rejected, but I also didn't knew how the reaction will be. I was invited for dinner to some friends. We have had fun, and I had a nice talk with one of the guys. I've asked him if I should drive him home, because with public transport it takes quit long in the night to get home. He accepted it and we had a great talk in the car, about life and girls.

Conclusion
No obvious success regarding the challenge, but a success in my friendships.

 

Day 6

• First attempt: Say "Hello" to strangers

This was an easy one. I greeted almost everybody on my way to work (5 minutes by bike). Most of the people responded, but there were some who didn't care at all.

• Second attempt: Try to buy stamps in a supermarket

This wasn't difficult as well. I wanted to send a letter today, but the psot wasn't yet open when I went to work. So when I bought my breakfast, I told the lady that I would like to have some stamps. She told me they don't sell any. I answered: Well you sell postcards, so I thought you have stamps as well. She told me they don't so that's it.

• Bonus: Random rejection from my every-day life

This was an annoying one. With some friends we were around a table and I wanted to get something from someone from the other side of the table. And a friend of mine was in the way and I told him, that I would like a cup of drink from someone after I get it, he can get back, I don't want to take his place. He didn't care and didn't let me on his place. He was really cocky and I don't know if he wanted to annoy me, or he missunderstood what I wanted. Anyway I was very pissed of on his answer...

 

Day 7

• First attempt: Go on the street in a bathrobe and a) watch the reaction of others b) offer for someone that he/she can also wear your robe c) ask people if they like your bathrobe

Short introduction for this crazy one: Yesterday at the university there was a cinema day, and they were playing The Big Lebowski. Those who came with a bathrobe got a surprise.

a) Watch the reactions.
I thought, this is fun, and fits well to my challenge, just need to ask some people a few things. So on my way I took my bathrobe out of my backpack and put it on in the tram, shortly before I had to get out. This was one of the most difficult parts of the challenge. I could feel the sights on my back when I put my jacket in my backpack and took the bathrobe on my normal clothing. Then 3 minutes walk on the street. This was fun When I've arrived to the University, there were already other crazy people as well and I didn't feel that awkward anymore. Surprisingly most of the people pretended not realizing my unusual dresscode. They tried to ignore me, or didn't know what to think, but noone dared to make eyecontact with me, also no smile, nothing. This was kind of disapointing, but anyway a nonverbal rejection...

b) Offer for someone to wear my robe.
Only one friend of mine came with a bathrobe, 3 others without. I offered them. A girl smiled and kindly refused the proposal. With the others: we were wearing 2 bathrobes 4 guys, this was crazy and funny

c) Ask people if they like my new style
Well I went home with the bathrobe on me, this means some walk, a short trip by the tram, a few station by subway and 5 minutes bicycle. Bathrobe on the whole time. Same reaction as before: people ignore me completely like I woud fit to the normal group. Then I asked 3 persons actively if they like my robe. One of them was as well at the University, he had his own robe as well there, he was positive. Two other person didn't even answered me, just walked away.

Conclusion
This was a great way to get out of my comfort zone, and this is my main reason of doing the challenge. I was even more nervous at the beginning, than when I asked the girl for a walz a week ago. But this was actually more fun. Today morning I was thinking that the further I get from my comfort zone, the more surprise I receive and the more fun I have. Actually yesterdays challenge is my favorite until now

When I got home I felt like being at "I don't give a f*** - level infinity"

 

Day 8

Yesterday I was thinking about the list I want to try, but nothing really got in place. Anyway, there is in the prayer group a nice girl who moves out of the city next week, so I asked her how could we stay in contact, and she gave me her e-mail address. I think the attempt counts, even if I wasn't rejected. Of course I'm happy about this

Conclusion
This challenge is a funny set of mind, because I win, whatever happens. If I don't get rejected, I have some nice experiences, if I do get rejected, I have a checkmark for my challenge, so it's good as well.