To the Successful Ones out there - Give me some advice!

The key change for me was mindset. I don't Do porn anymore or masturbation.
I educationed myself on how it fucks with the chemical balance in the brain. I got a AP I contact daily. I told a personal friend of my issues and I visualise myself watching myself fap to porn in a dark room where I sat, getting up from the chair amd seeing sweat and shit streaks from sittin there for hours edging with no result. Not a pretty sight..
I also visit here and interact daily.
Its hard but does get easier.

 

Okay, I'll try to explain my point of view:
First of all I decided to quit PMO because I simply see it as wrong: none of the girls in porn grew up wishing to become a porn star. And even if you fap to sexy pictures of some random girls: they never gave you the allowance to do so, and therefor you are invading their privacy.
After a streak of some weeks without PMO I relapsed (because I was drunk and got horny) and I felt really bad because I thought that I lost all the possible benefits - I knew that I never wanted to fap again (I also stopped drinking alcohol for about 3 months - until a couple of days ago, when I got wasted again: but nothing bad happened).
I do not watch TV at all (I think there are many triggers because "sex sells", and most of them are subconsciously) and before I watch a movie I try to know what it is about (yeah I avoid some movies).
And for the internet: I have to use the internet at work all day long, and I use it at home for many hours - but again: it is a mindset. I do not surf porn sites or look up pictures of beautiful girls. Because: why would I? What is the point? It is not the real deal. It is just artificial.
We do live in an artificial world and our minds are fed up with images and we have lost the contact to reality. Why live online? Why live in movies? Why worship stars whom we do not know? I do not say that there is a bigger plan behind all this, but there are definitely people and companies which have certain interests in us being like they want us to be - and that is why I try to be different.
I do not count the days, but I know that I might already have passed the 100.
I do not really believe in benefits (apart from knowing that I fought a bad habit), but whatever improvement comes I am gladly accepting it (like not objectifying women anymore).
And as I have stated before in a different post: I do not know if the 90 days period is based on something scientific or not - but I really think that I am beyond fapping now....
Unfortunately this whole thing is different for everyone. No one can give you a perfect plan for your reboot process. You are the only one that knows the sum of all the circumstances, but as far as I can tell the NoFap community is always willing to help.
Good luck - and remember: sometimes less is more.

 

About it getting easier all i can say is you just start learning to live a different lifestyle and start to think less... A LOT less about sex, porn, masturbation, relapse, the days. Replace those thoughts with other thoughts on a daily basis. keep doing it and don't look back.

 

I counted the days 'till my first relapse - and after that I tried to avoid counting from the beginning.
And it works very well for me, because I am spending as little energy as possible on the PMO thing.

 

Maybe try starting small, like set a goal for a week or two. I'm only on day 40 and I haven't seen too many huge changes, but I noticed im generally a happier and more out going person, even after a week or two. You may relapse a few times but that's ok as long as you keep your mind set on the goal. When I finally figured out I was happier without PMO, it was so much easier to cut it out of my life.

So just keep on fighting! It's a long process but you'll get there!

 

A key change was for me when I made peace with myself. This is now almost two years ago.
Up to this moment, I was at a kind of war with myself. I hated me for the PMO addiction, I was fighting against myself, I punished myself

One day I understood that the PMO addiction was in fact a part of myself. And therefore, I understood that when I am at war with myself, then I would rather destroy myself instead of healing me.

Today, I treat the addiction very politely. I treat it like a "friendly monster" which is living in a corner of my house. It looks scary, but in fact it is friendly and harmless. Most time it sleeps, but sometimes it comes and tries to scare me. But it's only play. Most important is to stay calm, friendly and polite, nothing else. Then it will go within a few minutes. But when you take on the game, when you do what it demands, when you feed it, then it will grow and grow, up to a real big scary monster, and then you won't be able to handle it.

There are other ingredients to the success, but being at peace with yourself is really a key. It instantly lead me to a first 35-day run of "hard mode". And I am looking back now to three 35-day-runs in total in two years, and many other 1-2 week runs. And it's getting better and better.

 

Well done! Very true and well stated.

 

@Dajic , You would need to change two things, Lifestyle and mindset that's it, you are half way through.
Get on to passion hobby sports Gym anything that will consume you completely. that's it. it is no rocket science. yes, it will be hard for some cause P is a gravity it will suck you in. but then I am sure you would not like to fight easy battle,
kick it's ass and victory will be yours.

 

Some yes, some no.

I agree, many women are just exploited, maybe they are not so intelligent or they have no education, they're poor or have no good family behind them.

But there are also other.

At least for prostitution, I know by myself that for some really intelligent and educated women, it can be a thrill to try it.

They are curious to look behind society's curtain, it's giving them a thrill and also a feeling of power.
Or, if they come from a very suppressive family, then they see this as a kind of revolution against their parents.

Later it might become routine; they see that they can earn a lot of money, and then they possibly begin to erode.

 

Here's how I've kept this train running.
Keep in mind, for you personally,
It might be completely different.

-I have a deep purpose for doing this in the first place. Rooted at the soul level.
-Always keep in the back of my mind the amazing benefits I am gaining/have gained.
-Always focus on ambitious goals that drain my energy to acheive.
-Discipline myself to not accept failure.
-Look at porn and masturbation as pathetic, and don't give myself any room to make exceptions.
-At the same time, do not use this attitude on anyone else. It is only pathetic for me personally.
-Keep a 'fuck society' attitude about being an individual.
-I don't care if I'm the only one doing this, I'm doing it and nobody can stop me.
-Do not be easily influenced by things I read or see.
-Once again, I am doing this, despite all the propoganda that wants me to jerk it all away.
-Learn to accept that it might get easier sometimes, but the storm of temptation always lingers.
-Be ready to fight temptation, at any given moment. It's not comfortable, so I don't expect it to be.
-Listen to inspiring music that deeply touches my soul and purpose every day.

 

I actually think this is one of the most important aspects as society is largely to blame.

 

A mature being does not blame anybody. You are responsible for your own life.

 

I'm by no means any sort of expert, but for me the main factors that assist me are:
-understanding what feelings / behaviors are causing you to relapse and attempting to fix that issue
-understanding when your danger periods exist and work on limiting your potential to relapse at That time
-stay busy
-try to harness the good feelings of being clean and Ingraining into your brain these feelings and remembering how bad you feel when you're relapsing
-getting beyond goals. I think you have to embrace the mindset that porn is no longer part of your life. Yes it's tough, but obviously if you're on here, you have a real issue with it and want to change.

 

I respect your brutal honesty! I am happy for you! May you continue on your journey towards your best version of yourself.

I agree... thinking about how stupid and silly we look when we PMO. Consider setting up a camera and watch how ridiculous we look. It will kind of force us to see ourselves as a third person. Stay strong! Win!

 

Your statement: "Unfortunately this whole thing is different for everyone. No one can give you a perfect plan for your reboot process. You are the only one that knows the sum of all the circumstances, but as far as I can tell the NoFap community is always willing to help. Good luck - and remember: sometimes less is more." is brilliant!! Very nice post! I wish you continual success on your journey. Stay strong! Win!

 

Wonderful stuff! Well said! I will certainly spread it. I loved this part, "Today, I treat the addiction very politely. I treat it like a "friendly monster" which is living in a corner of my house. It looks scary, but in fact it is friendly and harmless. Most time it sleeps, but sometimes it comes and tries to scare me. But it's only play. Most important is to stay calm, friendly and polite, nothing else. Then it will go within a few minutes. But when you take on the game, when you do what it demands, when you feed it, then it will grow and grow, up to a real big scary monster, and then you won't be able to handle it." Well done!

Stay strong! Win!