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New here, but attracted to porn for over 30 years!

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Safranski, Dec 19, 2015.

  1. Safranski

    Safranski Fapstronaut

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    Living in the EU, male, 45 and attracted to porn as long as I can remember. Need to go back to early adolescence to remember a point in my life when there was no porn. I was 13 or 14 when I discovered by accident some porn mags. How could I ever imagined that this would be the starting point of a devastating, seemingly endless journey of shame, guilt, daily masturbation, and eventually a broken marriage? Things got worse rapidly with the introduction of high speed internet. However, in the pre-internet time, I’ve collected already a huge library of porn mags and DVD’s over the years, and spend a lot of money to it as well.

    My biggest mistake: I thought that having a nice wife and two children, the feeling of caring people around me, all that would diminish the attraction to porn automatically. Boy, I was wrong!! Now divorced, it’s unbelievable that I lived a second, hidden life for almost 30 years. It’s drives me mad.

    Conclusion: this has to stop. NOW! No bullshit, no more delays or excuses… I made a noFap account today. I’ll try to report on my progress regularly. I desperately need people supporting me now that it feels like I’m entering the desert.
     
  2. Tull

    Tull Fapstronaut

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    Hello Safranski,

    I have a similar story to tell and I like you have decided enough is enough! I am sure with some will power and help and support from people here you will get through it.

    Chin up and onwards and upwards mate!

    Cheers,

    Tull
     
  3. lionmanon

    lionmanon Fapstronaut

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    Its never too late, you can do this!
     
  4. Safranski

    Safranski Fapstronaut

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    I want to go "cold turkey". Tried it before, but I relapsed everytime. Yesterday I relapsed after staying clean (no PMO) for 13 days. Never done better. To make my failure worse, I did 3 PMO sessions today. What a disappointment, feeling so bad... Therefore I joined NoFap today. I believe mental support in essential for all of us. I tried this on my own, but in vain. My goal is at 90 days no PMO. What a challenge in front of me. Will I ever manage this? I need to invest in a daily meditation routine. I take a deep breath, here we go...
     
    Applehead and lionmanon like this.

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