Setting Yourself Up For Failure?

Am I setting a realistic goal, when I say that I want to be free of my ongoing problems with sexual fantasies, porn, and M, by my birthday?

What would be a more realistic and less relapse-prone goal?

What should I do?

My sexual addiction is a direct result of being sexually violated as a child and being exposed to porn at 8. Also, it was reintroduced into my life online in college. I didn't think about sex or performed behavior all the time, but when it came (seasonally), it would come like a collapsed dam---just a flood that can't be stopped. I enjoy the feeling, especially when I am highly stressed, but I leave the action depressed.

I do fantasize about marriage and relationships a lot, even though it's not the best time to be in one. This is usually the gateway to porn because it starts nice, then ends up explicit.

What can I do to improve?

 

I agree. In this mini season, lust no longer bothers me, but I see outbursts from being unheard and caring for family who didn't express love in active listening and caring.

Willpower - you are right, and this is something I am working on. Willpower can't be tested all day because it makes weaknesses in other areas. I mentioned in my old story that I came out of homelessness, and the relatives I left to escape followed me to my new location, and caused friction. Now, I'm in the process of having to move again because my boundaries were disrespected.

This is a trigger experience. Yet, it manifested in another way---angry outbursts---and not sexual.

Strengthening the mind and refining myself: I am working on this and planning on this. Immediate plans if finishing Napoleon Hill's book Outwitting The Devil, which stopped just about every sexual urge, since I became aware of how much fear and drifting I lived with. Short-term plans is to see counseling, CBT counseling. I am also journaling and looking into pleasure seeking activities such as cooking, nature, working on professional goals of service that bring me happiness.

It's a journey. And I thank all of you for your support.