I Can Do This!

So it has begun.

I've tired many times to stop masterbating and watching porn. Every single time I've tried to stop I've somehow given in and failed. I don't believe it's because of a lack of willpower because I have willed myself to stop other things (i.e being ticklish, stopping different mannerisms, etc.). I still don't know exactly why I can't kick this bad habit but that's why I'm here. I want a life where I don't look at a women and imagine her without any clothes on. I want a life where my mind is clear to think and a body that isn't tired. I've read a lot of forum posts and heard a lot of success stories so I thought I'd give it a try.

I've seen first hand the effect porn addiction can have on a family. One of my relatives has a porn addiction and it has completely destroyed his marriage. To make matters worse, this Christmas, one side of my family didn't even get together to celebrate Christmas because of hard feelings about this issue. I've seen the disappointment on peoples faces and the tears that have been shed because of porn addiction. I do not want to be the cause of any pain or hurt.

I have a beautiful girlfriend that I love very much. We've been dating for two and a half years. Someday I want to marry her. When we started dating, we decided to wait until we got married before we had sex. It makes the relationship more difficult and requires more self control but I think it's worth it. In my current condition, I refuse to advance in my relationship with her. For one thing, it's not fair to her, and secondly, how can I say I'm committed to her for the rest of my life when I rely on myself to meet my sexual desires? It seems kind of selfish to me. I don't know how long I will have to wait until I can propose, but whatever it takes is well worth the wait. That being said, I think that 2016 would be a perfect year to pop the question. =)

This is my first post and with this post begins my lifelong journey.

Goal: At least 180 days without porn, masterbation, or edging.

Let the change begin!

 

Thank you.

 

I forgot to mention that my girlfriend and I decided to wait until we're married until we have sex. Maybe I'll edit the original post.