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Happy Introduction (New Member)

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Mommas_Boy, Jan 2, 2016.

  1. Mommas_Boy

    Mommas_Boy Fapstronaut

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    Hello there,

    I'm new to New Fap community. Since its the beginning of a New Year I'd like to start fresh. In 2015 I had outrageous hormonal issues I blame for sending me to the 'massage parlour'. If I could be forgiven I'd like to talk about my personal relapses in this thread. I was dating a women online in 2015 that shared some common interests. The common interests we shared led to online sex then a visit. Our visit wasn't hyped up to be what it was. I feel like she was being emotionally abusive (another person) during our visit.

    After the vacation I felt the complete opposite of relaxed from a sunny day at the beach. I ate two pints of ice cream to teach myself I'm not good enough for anything. I told myself it was my fault the relationship turned out the way it did. Masturbation became out of control. I have the urge to fap every morning and every night to this present day.

    I'm learning new things about my own biology. I know that when I get frustrated that builds up sexual energy. In BDSM community the height of their practice is a 'tension release'. For me having that relationship was the equivalent of sadomasochism. I want desperately for people to like me. I feel like I need a safe haven where I can express thoughts about sex freely.

    J.K. Rowling knows using imagination can release someone from their shackles if they're willing to work hard enough. I like to use my fantasies as 'fuel' in creative writing. I feel like my involvement with pornographic influenced me to seek pornographic experiences. Like most people we're trapped in our own fantasy worlds. We build a prison around ourselves to protect us from the outside.

    I found that having a soft plushy in bed help with distracting me from my fantasy world. Holding a soft toy bunny rabbit keeps me grounded only temporarily. It seems every morning I have an urge to watch pornography. I'll still jack off to get that 'tension release' before work.

    I don't have a girlfriend. I'm not sure if I want a modern women around my home. I've yet to solve that problem in 2016. I believe this fantasy world of mine is causing me low self-esteem. While I can make myself laugh often times I'm covering up whats wrong with me. I'm living with my mother at 29 years old flipping burgers in a food court. I'm not satisfied with who I am so please don't shame me further. I want to start this year fresh and I'm hoping to find support.
     
  2. the_grindel

    the_grindel Fapstronaut

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    Hey there @Mommas_Boy!

    I'm glad to see you here. Just know that there is a huge community here to help you along with this process.

    We're all here for the same reason. While the everyone's story may be different, the mission is still the same. As such, nobody here will shame you. Instead, we'll be around to support you. All you've got to do is read some forum posts and start a conversation if you feel the need.

    All the best!

    -Grindel
     
    rayofhope likes this.
  3. Paul Chang

    Paul Chang Fapstronaut

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    We have things in common, your life experience is similar to mine and I'd like it if you could join our Nofap group on Kik. My username is NoBreax please do not hesitate and shoot a msg at me on Kik so that I may bring you into our circle of brotherhood
     
  4. Mommas_Boy

    Mommas_Boy Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your thoughtful replies, Paul & Grindel. I always wanted to find a safe haven to express these thoughts and ideas. My hometown is a straight laced boot wearing town that visits church three times a week. I am good friends with the church community, sex is taboo for them. I understand that talking about sex in front of them makes them uneasy. New ideas frighten them so they stand behind the red painted line. Here I am over the red painted line! It feels good to be finally standing over it. This morning I feared waking up to angry replies to my forum post. I will start a Kik account and add you Paul :)
     
    the_grindel likes this.
  5. Paul Chang

    Paul Chang Fapstronaut

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    Sooner the better BRO??
     

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