unloveable

You definitely have to stop that kind of thinking my friend. You deserve love just as much as a person that has never seen porn in their lives. I'm sure it must be a very difficult situation for you and your partner. My guess is that he or she is still working out how to deal with it in their own mind, so it might be difficult for them to be as loving and as affectionate as they usually are or would like to be. This doesn't mean they don't love you or that you don't deserve it. You are very brave for going to your partner and speaking with them about it in the first place. You're not being dishonest to anyone, that is something to be very proud of. You are on the right path. Don't let this kind of thinking infect your mind. It can only lead to problems and hurt. Just do what you said, let go of the past. I read a great quote yesterday "You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one". I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but, at least personally, I find it's good to hear it from someone else sometimes.

 

makuse~ I recently found out about my husbands porn addiction, we have been married for almost 14 years, and aparently he's been addicted to porn more years than not. He started when I fell ill with a chronic illness, and I had just had our two children. So obviously we weren't having as much sex as he was used to, but we were still having it. Well once I felt better and my sex drive came back like a mad woman, he had developed ED from the porn, and had to take pills to have sex with me... by this time he was addicted, so he was having sex with me a LOT, and still fapping to porn, aprarently a lot too. I just wanted to chime in here, because I'm sure your partner is also feeling unlovable and confused, trying to figure out where he/she went wrong, feeling not good enough for you, etc etc. But I am sure than he/she still loves you, and if they are anything like me, I am actually more in love with my husband now. You see, in my case, I always knew in my heart something was wrong, but I always felt like, it must be me, after all I'm the one who is sick, I'm the one who has to take medications, I'm the one with the fucked up past... and now to find out what was in my heart was right along, I feel like a fool. I'm deeply hurt. My spirit is broken, but our connection now is so much deeper. Because now we are both totally open and honest. In fact, when we make love now its SO much better, it's literally out of this world, it's literally two souls becoming one, it's beautiful. We've always had amazing sex, but now because of all of this, and conversations we've had, it's like being in another dimension. NOthing else exists when we are together. You ARE worthy of love. You are human, you made a mistake, you are trying to fix it, you are trying to become the man you were born to be, and that's admirable.