Don't be a beta male

Guys being an alpha or beta is secondary. That can provide momentary inspiration.

But addiction is more than that. It is like you falling in love with an abusive partner. It is a toxic relationship with porn.

So here's how to handle this.

For the next 24 hours, write in a diary all the emotions/feelings that give you the urge to watch porn. Beneath all addiction, lies its root. And the root is an uncomfortable emotion/feeling you want to run from. You seek temporary relief but end up loathing yourself even more. All addictions - heroine, cocaine, alcohol have the same science behind them.

Let's see if you can find this feeling.

So become aware of that feeling. This is the first step. And don't be hard on yourself. It's not your fault. The fact that you're reading this shows you want to improve. It's just that you alone can't fight the demon created by a billion dollar industry. Let's fight this together!

 

Here's what works for me:

1. Journaling. Helps me know my values, my dominant thoughts and emotions.
Know your values, act according to them in order to feel happy. Set 3 goals everyday.

2. Add-ons: Add 'Mindful browsing' add-on in chrome. This reminds you when you're wasting time on porn sites or other websites. This really helps me bring my attention back to my daily rhythms rather than losing myself into that imaginary hypersxualized zone.

Also add 'Bell of Mindfulness' to know the passage of every hour or 30 minutes. Makes me more aware and conscientious of using my time.

3. Goals. Have something which is meaningful for you to work on. Set small 2-3 goals everyday. And family is very important. If you live by yourself, spend time with friends.

4. Fortify program. I signed up on this to watch some videos. Helped me learn about the cycle of addiction etc.

5. The right sleep routine. If you stay awake till late night, this is the root. Wake up latest @8-9 AM and go for 1/2 to 1 hour walk. This one thing improved my life more than anything else. Waking up all night creates anxiety, space for isolation which leads to masturbation etc, and negative thinking.

If you don't exercise everyday and wake up early, IN MY OPINION you're not making the least effort to quit PMO.

 

It's certainly not gospel. When I write it, I'm only stating my opinions.

Anyway, I'll edit the post, if it reads like that.

Although it should be obvious that it is my personal opinion and not a fact.

 

Glad you think so.

 

Previously some people have raised the same question about superiority. But I'd say that it gives me an inspirational feeling. So I like to follow this mindset. I think men are competitive amongst themselves. So they'll never accept being a beta. Hence, if I put it out there, they'll want to improve. And there's nothing wrong with that. In effect, they're only becoming better version of themselves.

Although I've stated earlier that betas are as important as alphas. I don't even think I'm an alpha.

Alphas are leaders who need followers, i.e. betas to lead.

 

This is one of the best meditation videos out there, by Jon Kobat Zinn - creator of the MBSR program.

Here is the llink to channel, it has many videos on mindfulness by him:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCovSxfjIeRafHF9Mhcl7_ng