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Finally Taking Action

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Buzz Lightyear, Jan 20, 2016.

  1. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Ok, so I'm a dude in my forties who is finally going to try and get this part of my life sorted out. I was a chronic P user right from my thirties through to a year or so ago. The big change for me was realizing I had to get better with woman... so I joined a 'pick up' site. It has helped me to be more positive, and more skillful and open with woman. It also gave me motivation to reduce P/M. But I still revert to bouts of that old habit, and worry that at some point I may end up worse than ever with it. I had been using 'lightly' once or twice a week recently, but have noticed the use becoming more frequent and longer. I can see my self sliding into that old lifestyle that was so isolated and pathetic. I do not want to lose the social life I have been so hard at work building [with both men and woman], so decided I have to take some drastic action. By the way I found this site on the 'pick up' site that I read near every day. lol

    So I have been free of P for two days so far. I will be posting here often as I am in my early days with this, so no doubt will be looking for some encouragement while of course learning from reading other threads. I'd also like to post here some psychological observations on this whole process - what is going through my mind when faced with that battle of the Will. I frankly find it fascinating how your mind can justify it, or find some excuse for the relapse, when you know so much better and see how destructive it is.
     
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  2. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Feeling good at the moment about my decision to quit P. I am a bit of an insomniac, but had a good sleep and some bizarre but solid dreams last night.

    I decided I will not focus on either FAP or NOFAP too much, and so not post too much here . I'll try not to make it central to my life. Ideally, it should become a peripheral issue then one not at all [perhaps I am being too optimistic here]. The idea here is not only out of sight out of mind, but also out of mind, out of life.

    When relapsing in the past, I've noticed my mind always needs to provide an excuse. My will knows it is disgusting, so therefore needs some reason to comply in the act. This always starts out as 'just a bit to medicate yourself/ relieve your stress'. Immediately afterwards, my mind will say 'well, you've indulged in it now, you may as well carry on, go on a binge, and write this evening off'.

    Therefore, the idea of self-medicating with P has to be taken off the table. I must go cold turkey. 3 days in^^
     
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  3. Saturdaze

    Saturdaze Fapstronaut

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    Join us on the 40+ forum and start a journal. You will find a lot of encuragement there from fellow Fapstronauts.
     
  4. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Thanks. I will look into that forum!
     
  5. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    So starts the first weekend of my nofap challenge. I'd often indulge after a boring working week thinking I deserved a reward, or an escape, from my tedious unrewarding job. But what kind of reward is it to wake up the next day with that P hangover. Not the best way to start your weekend.

    Just completed an hour of swimming at the local pool. Also have a couple of dates lined up this weekend so that is also incentive to stay P free.

    Should I move this thread to the 40+ forum?
     
  6. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Hi Saturdaze, just wondering how I can get that counter up and running in my signature. Followed the procedure but it is still not showing.

    It might help if someone 'likes' this post. lol
     
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  7. Tull

    Tull Fapstronaut

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    I know exactly how you feel OAU when you say "I've noticed my mind always needs to provide an excuse. My will knows it is disgusting, so therefore needs some reason to comply in the act. This always starts out as 'just a bit to medicate yourself/ relieve your stress'. Immediately afterwards, my mind will say 'well, you've indulged in it now, you may as well carry on, go on a binge, and write this evening off" as that is how I have relapsed in the past. I'm at 35 days now without P, and I won't say it has been easy, but it is possible and I am hoping that as time goes on it will become easier.

    All I can really say is be strong and hang in there as with some will and determination you will succeed!
     
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  8. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the comment Tull. I have moved this topic over to the 40+ forum as I notice this section is for re-booting [not sure whether that refers to rebooting your brain, or rebooting your day counter! lol] and I hope to not be rebooting much [touch wood lest Zeus strike me down]. All the best with your P free life!
     
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  9. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Strategy 1 for building a P free life:

    Swim for an hour at least three times a week.

    Off for a swim now! lol
     
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