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90 days complete........heres what I learned

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by RJ_McReady, Nov 10, 2015.

  1. Mate, nothing more to say you whacked the proverbial nail squarely on the head, and thanks for sharing your experience and insight!! It's all in the mind we all have the capacity to literally control what our mind tells us to do!! That sounds strange, like an existential experience really...but that's what it is. We have the power, not porn, or advertising or any other external influences, to make a choice, a decision - just like you say. Kudos to you and well done on the re-boot. I've just started, feeling great.
     
    HopeFaith and RJ_McReady like this.
  2. Lets do this

    Lets do this Fapstronaut

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    WOW! Awesome, I agree with all of your statements. We are not meant to sit in a room alone and masturbate. We are meant to have sexual interaction with the opposite sex. I have found after falling several times that using a counter is not a productive way for me to change my MO habit. So I have deleted my counter. I also agree with your statement that this is not the hardest thing that you will do in your life. Live your life and realize that MO is no longer what you want to be involved in and stop doing it. It is fine to have sexual thoughts just don't dwell on them all day long and think that you have to rub one out to deal with these thoughts. Have the thought and move on. If you are horny or getr a erection in the morning just tell your self that's cool and be happy you are healthy. No need to dwell on it and rub one out to relive your erection. I aslo believe that women can sense our sexual energy and have noticed more women taking notice of me as well the longer abstain from MO. Thank you for your post RJ_mcready.. Awesome!

    Lets Do This!
     
    HopeFaith, britaxe and RJ_McReady like this.
  3. HopeFaith

    HopeFaith Fapstronaut

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    For me personally the self love part and being born complete strikes the strongest cord. I am able to recognise how the majority of my life's decisions were not loving for others or streaming out of me not loving and respecting myself. If I loved myself I would never have fallen into the traps I did! I would feel complete as a person on my own, without the internal need to find something or someone to validate my self worth.
    I am just starting to look into myself but not sure I am doing anything right there .
    I am going to get the book too. Thank you for sharing.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2016
    taqwa likes this.
  4. Matthew5:28

    Matthew5:28 Fapstronaut

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    Very nice brother. Great refresher on many of the ideas I've become loose on. I'd like to dissent on thing however. You're right sexual desires/urges are a good natural thing but lingering on then, teasing those fantasies is not a good thing. Fantasizing does ABSOLUTEY NOTHING for you and often, it enforces the same ideas that porn does- selfish sex, using girls for your own lustful desires.

    And your right smothering our natural desires isn't the answer but when I do get urges, I'll outlet that energy by working out extra hard at the gym or in my case (I'm religious) I'll lift the urge up in prayer. I'll pray for the girl I'm thinking about so that I may view her with love not lust.
     
    taqwa likes this.
  5. HopeFaith

    HopeFaith Fapstronaut

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    I like your prayer for the girl! Briliant idea!
     
  6. taqwa

    taqwa Fapstronaut

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    This is a very effective strategy. You are humanizing her. You are seeing her for her soul...she is a sister, mom, aunt, daughter, etc...She was not created just for your sexual pleasure. She is a noble servant of God who is lost the way and is desperately trying to cover her hurt and pain. May God rescue them! We must do our part by not ever looking or supporting the porn industry. For when we do (involuntary or involuntary) support the porn industry, we are killing them. We are snatching their souls from them. May God forgive us!
     
    HopeFaith and Matthew5:28 like this.
  7. Awesome bro, thanks for sharing
     
  8. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, the psychology of it all is interesting. And of course a bit of self-observation.

    When considering why I would indulge in P, no, when considering how I felt before I indulged in P, it was always like that inner child was crying, or having a tantrum, and I guess the P just becomes like that sugar coated dummy you stick in your mouth to drift of into never never land. Same thing I see with young girls, with a vacant stare, licking ice creams! We just want to be vacant! Time for a vacation! lol

    oh, and yes, I agree it should not be too difficult if, as the OP suggests, you work on self development, or some spiritual exercises etc.

    And then of course, you don't need to be a monk. It helps to re-direct your sexuality outward, to its natural setting, and start noticing woman, and noticing they are noticing you. Your senses become very alert to this when you abstain from P.
     
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  9. iamthecaptainofmyship

    iamthecaptainofmyship Fapstronaut

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    I need this kind of post. Thanks god I found it! I hope you are in the same way today. Good luck!

    PD: I cant find the mencionated book. Could someone send it to me??
     
  10. Matthews_M

    Matthews_M Fapstronaut

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    Wow

    Thanks for sharing. I appreciate it. I have continuously made the effort to count the days which added more stress. Now I know. Thank you so much.
     
  11. Frühlingstimme

    Frühlingstimme Fapstronaut

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    You must be a fine young man if women are coming towards you. And you said yourself, you want to have sex at some point in the future, and with the right person, I assume.

    I swallowed everything you said and as I am in learning process I think I need to look up to you in your example. I don't know if this is because I'm too damaged, but I don't want relationship. Nobody can force that on me. You can't say it's unnatural.

    I might just be myself and do not have anyone at my side. Why is that strange? That's why for some of us it makes sense being a monk. Must be avoidance, but I just can't accept sexual thoughts when I am setting a goal in my life of being celibate, you understand? We have very, very different goals my friend. And I hope I have a nice and insightful message to everyone like yours when I fully reboot for 90 days.

    Cheers and good luck on your new life!
     
  12. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    I don't know if anyone alreay answered your post (don't wanna scrol through the whole thread). But once you start feeling this sexual energy in your whole body throughout the day, you don't need to "check" anymore if your manliness is still there.
     

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