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How to tell if a girl wants you to make a move?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by MrCharacter, Jan 26, 2016.

  1. MrCharacter

    MrCharacter Fapstronaut

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    I will be spending time with a girl in the near future, any pointers or signs?
     
  2. BackToManhood

    BackToManhood Fapstronaut

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    She may never give you a "sign", if that's what you're looking for. If you can tell she likes talking to you and enjoys your company, then, once you find the right moment (but don't be too picky), make your move. You gotta do some risk-taking with women. Of course, as soon as you do try something and she backs away, then BACK OFF, respect her distance. After that I don't really know what to do, but I would guess you should just then start gauging her behavior and see if she starts flirting with you or expressing interest first before you try anything else.
     
  3. axy_david

    axy_david Fapstronaut

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  4. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Do NOT look for a sign! It most often never comes. You need to lead.

    Flirt at times with solid eye contact, and a good vibe. Be positive and confident. Have a laugh. Share your energy with her. You should be able to feel attraction, and perhaps those puppy dog eyes at times [oh, there's a sign]. there should be the occasional bit of body contact, you should escalate that when the time is right. Don't overthink things, let things take their course. You also need to build comfort with her, so she feels she can trust you. Just be your better natural self. And of course no P will help you be that!!
     
  5. BackToManhood

    BackToManhood Fapstronaut

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    Lol if you ask her she'll probably just laugh you out the door. Happened to me once. I said, "Can I kiss you?" Not smart. They want you to just do it.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. dasss

    dasss Fapstronaut

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    I will be the negative guy here...

    So basically you are asking us how to not fuck up. Well you can't.. If you are a beginner you will make every mistake possible.. You place too much value on her .. and you will fuck up and that .. it's natural .. it's good ..

    Just do what you want to do and then calibrate on her response...
    Best advice: Just be yourself ..
     
  7. axy_david

    axy_david Fapstronaut

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    You talk as if you understand all girls, be reasonable dude, girls are human too, not some kind of goddess and bear in mind that not every girl is the same.
    In your case she laughed because you said something unexpected, and it became awkward because she didn't know how to respond.
    Unless you are easy-going you would do the same if some guy/girl asked if they could kiss you.

    Assumptions will only complicate and even make problem worse. I know that from my own experience with my gf, I always make allusions and insinuations mainly because that's how I grew up, that's my natural language so to speak.
    She gets 0 of all that and asks me why I behave so weirdly around her...
    Better to be in an awkward situation then to be considered a creep!
    Just be yourself as dasss said:
    If you wonder/want something, ask. If you complicate things you will undoubtedly mess up.
     
  8. BackToManhood

    BackToManhood Fapstronaut

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    Maybe not all girls, but I think it still doesn't grant you any points for smoothness if you ask. When I did it, we were lying in bed together (yeah I had gotten that far without making a move, I was scared basically). I asked, and she just started laughing and she said, "You shouldn't ask that kind of thing.. You should just do it." She kept laughing, so hard that I just got up and left.

    It happened to me with another girl also, before I got it through my head. And with that second girl, I think it was also a big turn off for her. She didn't laugh, she just said "I dunno.. Just.. do it..?" And I did and I could tell it was weird for her.

    So, maybe some girls wouldn't mind it if you asked. But some girls get really turned off. I think the important thing is to make sure it fits into the moment where you're feeling close to her.

    I think we're often too worried about being considered a creep. We have to be honest with ourselves: we're men and we are attracted to pretty women. A pretty girl that you know can't fault you for liking her. She may end up thinking you're creepy if you try to kiss her, but that probably means she wasn't attracted to you in the first place. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Sometimes you gotta live with some girls thinking you're creepy. As long as you accept it and move on, you're not.
     
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  9. axy_david

    axy_david Fapstronaut

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    Oh well, you may be right, my girlfriend usually is the one doing the moves in our relationship so I can sit back and enjoy the results of my labour :D
     
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  10. always108

    always108 Guest

    if you don't know if she wants you to make a move let her make the first move it seems likely she is more interested in you then you are of her anyway if you haven't tried to show interest.
     
  11. MrCharacter

    MrCharacter Fapstronaut

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    Thanks all for your replies. Backstory: we are friends, of course but we hardly hang around. I like cooking and she likes baking so 2 years ago she came to my accommodation and we baked. My friend later told me that she most likely wanted you to make the move. Few days back I made chicken thai green curry and she saw my snap and started the conversation.

    Possible flirting cues?:
    • She asked me to cook for her
    • One response "AWWWWWW, kissing emoji, smirking face emoji, 2x smiling emojis"
    • Sent a random snap irrelevant to the conversation
     
  12. Harvhe

    Harvhe Fapstronaut

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    It depends what kind of level your friendship is at. She could be just joking around with you in a friendly way for all you know, i wouldn't jump to conclusions decisively. Alternatively she could just be shy/embarrassed to admit it that she has any affection for you so is in a subtle manner playing around it.

    For someone you know briefly on the wider scale of things (yes/no?) it's strikingly odd. If you're making it perfectly obvious you have a crush on her/(show affection to her if you want to be more adult about it) she could be embarrassed how to handle it for that reason too and perhaps a bit skittish.

    (The fact your friend suggested it also might suppose they are playing matchmaker or are knowledgeable, i would advise cautionary action and have a good think about whether this is the kind of thing your friend would do.)

    If you don't mind me asking, what was the content of the snapchat?
     
  13. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Hey, sounds like you might be friend-zoned with that one!

    But don't worry about it! There are plenty of woman out there looking for real men. You just need to carry on with this journey you've started here, and let your awesomeness and masculinity naturally emanate outwards to the woman around you. Don't over think it, be in the moment and strike up conversations.

    So what do I know. Well, I just have 3 dates lined up this weekend. Of one I know socially. The other two I happened to meet in the coffee shop. :rolleyes:
     
  14. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, best to find out one way or the other. In these kinds of cases you kind of have to be prepared to 'burn it to the ground'.... not lose a friend, but lose a 'potential' girlfriend. It's the fear of losing that stops us stepping up. As you say, we should be playing to win.
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2016
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  15. BackToManhood

    BackToManhood Fapstronaut

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    It could go either way on whether or not she is friend zoning you. But I think you can change that. You know she likes you enough to be comfortable with sending you kissy smilies (lol). Therefore she has deemed you tolerable enough to be around. Now you have to take things up a notch and show her you're tolerable enough to be with. She gave you a perfect excuse for a chance to get close: invite her over for dinner. Then try to be flirting with her and playing/messing around with her, keep the atmosphere playful. If you still haven't had the chance to get close for a kiss after dinner, offer to watch TV, and there's your perfect opportunity. Maybe you can have a deep conversation with her about something, ask her opinion, and while shes talking start smiling, and when she asks what say "You're really cute when you talk about _____" and then lean in for the kiss, something like that haha I don't know I'm bad with this type of scenario.

    When you lean in, do it something like 90% of the way and let her come in for the last 10%.

    You don't have to follow my play-by-play of course haha just giving you an example scenario based off the information you gave so far.

    Maybe the other guys are right, maybe she's friend zoned you already, but you don't know if you don't try! Actions speak louder than words, just make the move and if she backs off and says she's not interested, just smile, laugh, apologize and move on. You're a guy, you're used to being attracted to pretty female friends, she's a pretty girl, she's used to guys being attracted to her, it's no big deal. ;) You can still be friends because it's a natural and normal thing to happen.
     
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  16. BackToManhood

    BackToManhood Fapstronaut

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    Hahaha nice. Yeah that's true. Might be best just to do it and hope for the best. :D
     
  17. Eric'sBlue

    Eric'sBlue Fapstronaut

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    Inviting gestures - hair flipping, coy looks. Seriously, women do the hair flipping thing a lot. It's a dead sign she's suddenly nervous about her looks, in front of you. Even if it's subtle. Look for it. Generally more passive, inviting behavior...Look at her body language, she should be drawing you in, not pushing away.

    The body language is everything! if she suddenly gets passive, then you know she's into you.
     
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  18. Eric'sBlue

    Eric'sBlue Fapstronaut

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    PS.

    Stay away from aggressive, dominant women - women who seem to be on the hunt for men. Stay away from this, and women like these. It's just bad news trust me. You do not want anything to do with it.
     
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  19. Brasileiro

    Brasileiro Fapstronaut

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    3 signs:
    1 - laughs at everything. (Or make insinuations)
    2 - she touches you. Your arm, very lightly, you know?
    3 - she makes conversation when you stop talking.

    Once you get these 3, you know she likes you. I first read this in Mystery Method, but then i saw it in person. It works. ;)

    EDIT: Oh, don't forget the eye contact, and the close distance. Also, try to escalate. Don't go for it like an animal (except you want to, in that case, post a report here please, i want to know how is to go caveman as they say). Go little by little until you guys are close enough to kiss. Good luck! :)
     
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  20. Sayin'SwearsIsFun

    Sayin'SwearsIsFun Fapstronaut

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    I agree with some of this but I'll throw in my two cents.

    Yes:
    She laughs at everything
    She engages you without reason (sending you the random snap-chat, you're at least friends)
    She touches your arm
    She shows interest in what you say and do

    NO:
    Don't ask. Girls talk, but this is one thing they don't want to tell you. Women's brains don't work like yours and mine do (I don't mean that misogynistically) - where most guys communicate with straightforward words, a woman uses her whole body and large portions of her brain to communicate. Women are superior communicators. And when they want something, they love dropping hints to see if you'll take the bait. So look for hints.
    Don't pin everything (life, happiness) on this one chick. If you're here, chances are you're like a lot of people - putting women on a pedestal. Someone else said it, she's just a person. She has fears. She feels self conscious. In my opinion it sounds like she's interested in you. That means she worries if you like her. She worries if you think she's attractive. Realizing that women are people like you and I gives you a lot of power over your own fears.

    Worst case scenario:
    Things don't work out in your favor. She doesn't like you, or you might not like her (even though you think you do now).

    Best case scenario:
    You're a happy couple.

    Important to remember: she's a person, with a family. Likes, dislikes. Fears, worries. Find out all about her. Treat her like a person.

    The worst thing you can do is wonder, regret. If she likes you, she might even tolerate some mistakes. I told my wife I loved her after we'd dated for two weeks. She still makes fun of me. But guess what? I have her companionship.We've been married for eleven years and dated for three previously. Don't regret what might have been. That's an even bigger regret than what you think might be failure.

    The difference between someone successful and the average joe is that average joe fears failure. Successful bro sees failure as a learning experience. What works with one girl might not work with another and vice versa - but eventually you'll get good enough at knowing if you don't find someone you want to be with. Most importantly, the choice is yours. It's up to you. Yes, she has to choose too, and there's nothing you can do to choose for her. But how you react is your choice. That's where your self empowerment should come from.

    Edit: I swear I can spell LOL
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2016

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