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Willpower is my weakest trait

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Ancalagon, Jan 22, 2016.

  1. Jan 22, 2016 #1
    Ancalagon

    Ancalagon Fapstronaut

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    I feel like I have zero willpower. That's always one of the hardest things for me, I am terrible at stopping myself.

    I catch the desire early, I even have the mental clarity to think "ok I messed up a little but I can still make the choice to stop and that matters." I can give others the advice that every decision at every point matters -- a small slip, while serious, needn't become a big slip. But I can't follow it.

    I find I tend to have deep senses of feeling like I've missed out. For example during periods of PMO free living (even 8-14 months free) I'll think "I wish I'd looked at that video, or actress, or genre while I was relapsing." Does anybody else get these kind of feelings?

    How do I develop willpower?
     
    Ancalagon, Jan 22, 2016
    Ancalagon, Jan 22, 2016
    #1
  2. Jan 22, 2016 #2
    SolidStance

    SolidStance Guest

    Do everything to the best of your ability.

    Hold the awareness that you are pure willpower already.

    Everything you do is a reflection of your will. The energy it takes you to do something you love, even fapping, takes willpower. Redirect that energy and willpower grows.

    Don't ever say you don't have willpower, cause you do. You have the will to relapse, to type here, to breathe. You can do anything.
     
    SolidStance, Jan 22, 2016
    SolidStance, Jan 22, 2016
    #2
    buzzlightyear likes this.
  3. Jan 27, 2016 #3
    black_coyote

    black_coyote Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    I can relate with you, the feelings when the resolve you made so fervently fade away in a moment of temptation...

    We all have willpower, but we just don't use it...We have a super strong body and mind within, the source all lies within but we fail to tap that potential...no more...Do read the following post made by a man of wisdom.

    http://www.NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/how-to-build-willpower.50895/

    It helped me A LOT.




    Shepherd in Honor of Operation Fallen soul.
    .
     
    black_coyote, Jan 27, 2016
    black_coyote, Jan 27, 2016
    #3
    buzzlightyear likes this.
  4. Jan 27, 2016 #4
    buzzlightyear

    buzzlightyear Fapstronaut

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    Hey @Ancalagon ,

    I like you're here, You got a good taste for avatars and an even greater taste for choosing names. Be a dragon of life instead of crushing power and different willpower will devellop.

    Don't hesitate if you ever need any advice/help, just send a message :)

    Lots of love,
    Buzz, Peasant in Honor of Operation F.S.
     
    buzzlightyear, Jan 27, 2016
    buzzlightyear, Jan 27, 2016
    #4
  5. Jan 27, 2016 #5
    Ancalagon

    Ancalagon Fapstronaut

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    Thanks black coyote, I'll check it out.

    @buzzlightyear thanks, I have always liked the entire Ancalagon story arc, and I especially liked the power and symbolism of very artfully rendered Eärendil battling Ancalagon. Each character in the image can represent multiple things, there's a lot of interpretive depth.

    I'm a big fan of lyrics and/or imagery that captures (and especially evokes) powerful emotions core to the human experience.
     
    Ancalagon, Jan 27, 2016
    Ancalagon, Jan 27, 2016
    #5
    buzzlightyear likes this.
  6. Jan 28, 2016 #6
    Aaron_0

    Aaron_0 Fapstronaut

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    What's your strongest trait?
     
    Aaron_0, Jan 28, 2016
    Aaron_0, Jan 28, 2016
    #6
  7. Jan 28, 2016 #7
    SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    A really good tool is a short relaxation of 3 minutes.

    Watch yourself when the first tiny little onsets of an urge begin to rise.

    When you feel this, then think "ok, urge, give me 3 minutes".

    Then lie back, close your eyes, relax. Let any thoughts pass by, like clouds on the sky. Just be patient and wait. After a very few minutes, your "brain sky" clears up, and like a wonder, any urge is gone! It's amazingly simple!

    With this simple method, you are building up your willpower. Do it daily, and after some weeks, you will feel a real progress. I did it regularily and made the first big leap with it.

    The re-wiring is in fact a learning process. And like any other learning process, you start with small steps first. Repeat them often, again and again, and then they begin to settle in your brain. And with this, you make progress.
     
    SnowWhite, Jan 28, 2016
    SnowWhite, Jan 28, 2016
    #7

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