Basically for what reason girls expose their bodies?

HiFlyerPeter, I don't have any children yet, but I plan on teaching them to value themselves and others for their character, and not for looks, athletic ability, money, etc.

Randy, I think you're misusing the word "judging," and it seems like you're judging us to be Puritans based on the things we've said.

However, it is normal to make judgments about people based on their appearance. How you dress tells the world what kind of person you are, and if you dress in a way that says that you don't care about yourself, have low standards, or are a crude person, you will get treated that way. It would be nice if people didn't use appearances to form an opinion about someone, but that is how the world works. Dressing decently like you care about yourself doesn't mean one has to dress in a suit or skirt with jewelry and makeup; it could simply be wearing clean clothes without holes - such as a t-shirt and a pair of jeans - combing/brushing one's hair, and bathing. It's not that hard to dress in a way that shows you have self-respect.

 

Thank you! This is a hard concept to explain so I'm glad someone just came out and said it. We all like the ego-boost we get when others look at us, but the most wonderful part of marriage is that you're no longer trying to appeal to everyone. Above all others, we have one person whose thoughts and feelings matter to us. I was almost married once and it was wonderful being in that kind of relationship with someone. Unfortunately it turned out that she didn't feel the same way, hence the "almost" part.

Good for you! There's hope for the future yet.

 

It's like tonight...my step dad and his wife are in town, and we are all going out to dinner. Underneath my normal clothes I am wearing a corset and garter, my husband knows, it's like our little secret, and he shoots me those knowing looks, or reaches under my normal top to feel the silk. It's great foreplay and bonding. It makes me feel sexy even though on the outside I'm just normal me and nobody else would know I'm wearing such sexy things, but he knows and he loves it

 

That is the sexiest thing I have read on this forum, even your wording emenates female. Now stop it I don't want to pmo, k? lol

 

lol Sorry No Name~ most definitely not my intention. I was just trying to convey how at least in my case, it does mean a lot to catch my mans eyes and heart over and over. I had one guy who suffers from porn addiction ask me once isn't it boring to be with the same person for years, like masturbation with someone else basically... told him no its really quite the opposite, that once you have the right person in your life the sex can be like nothing you could ever imagine... hub and I have a running joke where we are always replacing our "top ten" sexual encounters , because somehow it seems it just gets better and better. I guess we might be lucky that we aren't in some rut that people married for 14 years get into. We still take great pleasure in making the other feel good. But it has to be something you work on, like doing things like I mentioned above. I think when it comes down to it, we all enjoy attention from people we are attracted to , or we all like getting those looks, it makes us feel good... why some people take it so far as to look trashy, idk, they might be drawing attention, but usually it'd be the wrong kind. I don't think I'd want a man that picked my up bc he thought I would be an easy lay because of how I dressed. Whats the lyrics to that "Yeah" song... I wanna a lady on the streets but a freak in the bed" lol.

 

Don't want to make any gross generalizations but it doesn't seem like women have or want the capacity to rely on some source of confidence other than an external one (i.e. attention from men, competing with other women). To me, clothes are something I wear so I'm not naked and I'm not cold. I think this statement from hurting_wife sums it up:

It's ironic because it sounds like you're dismissing a major component to breaking free of societal pressures. Literally if you stopped giving a shit about how women are told to act/look you become infinitely a stronger person.

I don't know... just something I've been thinking about. I may be wrong, but you don't see female Buddhist monks. It seems that women don't have the ability to remove their material attachments and simply cannot participate at an intellectual/conscious level that men can. It's very disheartening. Then again, their are plenty of men in this boat (obsessed with cars, big salary, clothes etc).

 

I'll admit I was being fairly inflammatory. I haven't had a conversation with a woman about these ideas and since this forum attracts mostly men you can't expect the women that are here to be discussing these things.

This is profoundly self-righteous and unnecessary. Perhaps I didn't make it clear that I wasn't sure about it; I was trying to communicate it in a way that provoked a response- albeit a woman's response. I don't think they need you to stand up for them.

 

I'd rather not this turn into a flame war, I was attempting to exchange ideas and you seem pretty committed to ending the conversation and assuming higher moral ground (self-righteousness). I haven't come across very many unpleasant exchanges on this forum but I have to say that you're often posting with so much finality, Anon. Give me a break, I was venting, most guys on here are. I would think you could relate.

I don't think the entire thing was, more of a sidenote at the end. The entire post still has some substance but I think it probably applies to everybody today- again a frustrated venting.

That just feels personal. This isn't a Youtube comment section or a polemic; I expect some degree of reciprocity when I come here. I do not believe I was being hostile with my initial post, whereas you were and have been before in response to my posts. Not the ideal environment for this kind of place.

 

You must be the expert on what it's like to be born, grow up and live as a woman. Go watch the movie "Tootsie" and that will give you an inkling of what we women go through every day. Better yet, try to actually engage an intelligent woman and see if you can keep up with her. You have NO IDEA why women live the way they do, and most of the problem is men like you. Your lack of empathy is evident.

 

May i tell you my experience from yesterday evening ?
Yes ! Good !
I was in the gymclub before dinner and there is a lot of men in the muscle section for bodybuilding. I was joking with a married friend and suddenly he told me "il y a du monde au balcon" what means "the cleavage is crowded" or something like that in english. I looked for what he was refering. And i saw the cute woman in sport wear with her deep cleavage. All the men around were lost in this cleavage.
After that i wonder why this girl come in the middle of a lot of men like that. She knew that her clothes were provocative. I thought she must be single and she wants find a boyfriend...

 

Girls/Womens/Females should be free to wear whatever they want to as long as they are comfortable with it.

Men should learn not to judge them based on their "appearance" alone but be nice/respect all women equally irrespective of the way they look/dress.

Females should not "use" their looks/clothes to get what they want.

And Men should not objectify women.

That's an ideal world scenario though, not likely to become a reality anytime soon.

I think I better watch my own steps and make sure I practice as I preach, lol.

 

If you want to know why a woman dresses sexy, ask her. Nobody here knows.

 

In times I have been bold enough to ask, I have been told by women that they dress certain ways for a number of reasons :

It is just the way everyone dresses, it is the way their friends dress, they want to attract the attention of guys.

It is normally about in that order as well. Unless they are going out looking to meet a guy, they are not dressing provocatively in order to catch male attention. Typically.

Some of it is just simply that many brands of clothing now are just cut that way. Sometimes a particular culture causes women to dress a certain way. In Brasil for example, a great deal of the clothing is very thin, or shows off a great deal. Because when it is hot, it is more practical.

While I agree that people should be able to dress how they want without being judged, and at the end every guy is responsible for his own eyes, reality is still reality. Even if the intention is not to attract guys, it had that effect and the girl feels prettier and more confident because of that, even if she does not say that is why.
And the girl will be judged by how they dress. I don't envy them at all, because if they are too conservative, they are a puritan prude, too loose, they are a skank.

Don't underestimate the bandwagon. Everyone else does it, so typically they feel like they have to do so as well.

 

I know for me it is soemtimes a way to get attention or to get aroused or to feel powerful. It is a twisted thing.

 

I wear sweat pants all the time, to show that I have enough self-respect to allow myself to be comfortable and not care what other people might think.

I'll admit, your original post here made my eyebrows raise, as it felt like a bit of a slap in the face. I'm going to respond more calmly than others have, but I should say, if you actually want a reasonable discussion, then you should probably pose your original observations in a less offensive way. You admitted yourself that you were being inflammatory, so it shouldn't surprise you for people to respond as they have.

But anyway, all I can say is that I think you're neglecting the influence of society in your observations. I could be wrong, but it sounds as if you're saying women have a biological difference to men that makes it harder for them to not care what people think of them. Personally, I don't think that's the case. I think it's very much a social issue. Women are conditioned from the beginning to care more about that stuff than men. You say that you just think of clothes as something to cover your nakedness and keep you warm? That's nice. I think most men probably feel that way. And that's how their clothed are marketed to them.

Women, however, have always been the ones who are expected to care more about their appearance. The trophy wife is expected to dress well and do her hair and makeup and look pretty for her man. That's society's choice to emphasize that, not something women just naturally do or feel.

Basically, it's the argument of nature versus nurture. I think you're right in saying that women have a harder time not caring what people think of them, particularly of their appearance. But I feel like your assessment was that the difference is inherent or biological (nature) and I believe it's due to society's influence (nurture). Of course we can't really know for sure which one is right, or if both are to blame. It's all just speculation and conversation.

But anyway, I was recently talking about a lot of these types of things on a thread in the Womens section here, and I don't want to repeat myself. But if you're curious about my opinion on why I've dressed that way in the past and what I think about that, you can check out that thread, called "modesty."

 

Maybe you should deprogram your mind then. What we find attractive is what we've decided what is attractive. You can make yourself find women without make up attractive if you really wanted to. The question is do you really want to?

But what is reality? How do we know everything we see is actually there? I once saw a pirate sitting at my grandparents table laughing and counting money but there was probably no pirate.

 

Honestly I wear what I want because it's my body, I don't dress like a slag but if I want to wear a lower cut top or tighter clothes I will. While I enjoy dressing 'sexier' for my man it's actually just mainly for myself, I don't do it to get attention and it's based upon the feeling of the clothes and how I feel in them as well.

Again I'm not saying to dress in almost nothing, but I think it's a sad day that we have to be careful of what we wear now especially if it's a tad revealing.

 

One thing that makes me confused is the all butt showing in social media.

 

After reading through all the posts I can give you a really simple answer: Celebrities: Money. Other girls: attraction/attention (either or) Or the least climactic answer: to cool off.