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What makes you relapse?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Golgo 13, Jan 30, 2016.

  1. Golgo 13

    Golgo 13 Fapstronaut

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    What are the steps that cause you to relapse and reset?

    In the past for me it was -
    1) I got involuntarily triggered and rationalized that PMO "wasn't that bad"
    2) I fantasied and then rationalized that PMO "wasn't that bad"
    3) I hear about how 'everyone's doing it' then rationalized that PMO "wasn't that bad"

    "its not that bad, everyone does it" after a trigger is how I usually relapse. So I wrote a short book the day after I relapsed about why I relapse and why PMO is horrible for your sex life/drive and mental well-being.

    What about you guys? What causes you to relapse?
     
  2. L Coroneos

    L Coroneos Fapstronaut

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    Environment. If I'm at home alone with the internet on, I'll be tempted to relapse. If I'm out and about doing things, I won't have the chance. Don't give yourself the chance!
     
    WarriorScarr likes this.
  3. F-8

    F-8 Fapstronaut

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    It's wasn't just an environment it's what you're reading and watching that can cause a relapse or a reset. The goal is not to read anything or watch anything that would make you relapse.
     
    Golgo 13 likes this.
  4. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    I made a whole post dedicated to stuff like this. If you don't want to read the post, here's the relevant part:

    Part 2:Why I Watch Porn
    I watch porn when:
    • I have an emotion that makes me uncomfortable
      • BOREDOM and I don't want to feel bored anymore
      • HORNY and I don't want to feel horny anymore
      • LONELY and I don't want to feel lonely anymore
      • CRAVING and I don't want to crave porn anymore
    • I start fantasizing about
      • A particular porn scene I've already seen whether it's:
        • One of my favorites
        • A scene I haven't seen in ages
      • A perfect porn scene I haven't seen yet, such as:
        • A well-known porn star doing something novel
        • My favorite porn stars doing something novel
        • A particular combination of porn stars
      • My past sexual relationships
    • I get an erection because
      • My hand is in my pants
      • I'm humping my bed before going to sleep
      • It randomly happens to us throughout the day
    • I rationalize watching porn substitutes:
      • "Well I was watching this movie with nudity anyway - no harm in rewatching the nude scenes."
      • "I stumbled on a suggestive advertisement (that I wasn't originally seeking) - I'm allowed to view it."
      • "I'm allowed to click on a link that I contain porn substitutes as long as I 'X' out quickly."
      • "I don't want to view pornographic content - I'm just curious."
     
  5. F-8

    F-8 Fapstronaut

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    Child friendly I like it.
     
  6. BiggA

    BiggA Fapstronaut

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    Idle time mostly for me. Loneliness, habit, and my weak will.
     
    XPiRED likes this.
  7. ymats

    ymats Fapstronaut

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    I'm only on Day 2 of my first reboot, but for me it is boredom, habit (e.g. every morning makes me feel better before starting the working day) and history (sexualised very early and PMO ever since). There is also an angry anarchic streak which "justifies" PMO. First the hypocrisy of society's paranoid stance on pornography when it surrounds us in every form of advertising in a "legitimised" fashion and second, the seeming inability to control, and to actively glorify violence against the individual. So it is wrong to look at pictures of pretty girls and people doing the most natural thing in the world, but OK to view beheadings and shootings on YouTube and to create the mass-media spectacle of gladiatorial combat in UFC. Thus PMO = sticking it to the man (poor choice of phrase, but you know what I mean). I fear that the anger against society is a much bigger hurdle for me than the rest!
     
    XPiRED likes this.
  8. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    I have never ever ever relapsed.... since I made the firm resolve here to give up on P once and for all..... two weeks ago...:D

    Wish me luck!

    Now I shall read this thread.:)
     
  9. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I reckon an integral part of this recovery process is to be able to relax at home by yourself, taking pleasure in the simple things of life.
     
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2016
    XPiRED and Golgo 13 like this.
  10. Golgo 13

    Golgo 13 Fapstronaut

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    Exactly. Everyone around us is saying "its not that bad, everyone does it" which doesn't help us reboot.
    We caught it early just like how smoking is now considered bad, I'm sure no one in the 1950s would have given it up due to scientific reasons.
    Perhaps in 10 years people will all know its bad and this website will be a relic lol and all of its content considered medical knowledge haha.
     
  11. xSolidSnake86

    xSolidSnake86 Fapstronaut

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    Everything triggers me! Lol. Mainly my lust for beautiful women!
     
  12. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    a hard dick...:D

    at times its boredom
    at times its happiness. like some achievement so i think of celebrating it
    at times its frustration towards life
     
  13. msmahamed

    msmahamed Fapstronaut

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    1) viewing porn and porn subs on instagram, so I uninstalled it.
    Now the urges are growing far and few between.
     
  14. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    I really like my fantasies/fetish material. Even though I have practiced my fantasies in my real life, sometimes they look/seem better in the porn world. Just like most sex looks better in porn than the sex most of us have in our real life. Of course when I PMO, I'm missing the big picture by not experiencing sex with intimacy and emotions as opposed to MO'ing in front of a computer.
    I relapse when life is stressful and I rationalize that if I PMO I would be happier. I'm learning that making a happier life is the answer and being addicted to PMO will never allow me to be happy.
     
    ymats and Golgo 13 like this.
  15. Phibz

    Phibz Fapstronaut

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    There is only one cause for relapse. Because you want to. Bottom line: YOU are responsible for YOUR recovery. You simply have to want it. Simple, but not easy. It's not designed to be easy. That's why it's worth it.
     
    Golgo 13 and Buzz Lightyear like this.
  16. Mostly a combination of three things,boredom,porn subs and fantasizing.Everytime one of these three happens,I relapse.In order for that not to happen,I remove it from my life.
     
  17. Negative self-talk, Alcohol, Depression, Low self-esteem, Anger, Pain, Stress.

    From physical point of view: Craving for the chemicals which are being released during orgasm. Lack of intimacy with girls.
     
    WarriorScarr likes this.
  18. WarriorScarr

    WarriorScarr Fapstronaut

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    Stress has been the main reason for relapsing in the past. Being home and having nothing to do also does it.
     

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