YOU CAN DO THIS! (may have triggers)

My name is Benjamin Marshall. I am 20 years old and I have been a porn addict since about 12 years old.

My very first relationship lasted more than 7 years. When I finally engaged in my 1st sexual activity at 18 years old, I suffered from major PIED and ED in general. To make matters worse, on top of that I also would ejaculate prematurely even if I was able to get some kind of hard on. It completely ruined the relationship i had worked so hard to build and strive for. I did not understand sex, and was truthfully not ready for it at all. My porn addiction caused me to fail at school and work, and I was fired and withdrawn from school. Everything seemed to be falling apart, I lost my relationship and my friends and future.

But giving God the glory, I had a second chance.

I soon made a decision and ended up moving to a different state with some family and friends. I dreaded what I might have to go through by doing this, and had fears and doubts. Little known to me, it was exactly what i needed.

within 2 weeks of being in a new state, I ended up reconnecting with an amazing girl I had known from a few years back named Acorn. Not Only that, but I also was able to get back into school with the help of my beloved family, and completely reset my GPA for school. 2 weeks later from then, I was in a new relationship and back into school. and it is amazing. I worked hard for a 3.00 GPA and to keep building and growing the new relationship that I had. I let my new girlfriend, Acorn, aware of my addiction to pornography, and she supported me in helping fight against it, along with joining this nofap community.

but it wasnt all gravy from there.

I would play this tug of war game with porn, my longest streak lasting up to 8 days with a following 4-6 day binge of porn constantly. I tried and tried and tried again and again. but it seemed the same thing would always happen.

about 3-4 months in my relationship with Acorn, I started to have sex. It was okay. some days would be better than others, as I was her first. We both would try to figure it out together. Still fighting porn, i would either premature ejaculate n about 3 minutes, or not be able to come at all.

I DID NOT want this relationship to end the same way the last one did.

So I got and accountability partner which helped, but i would still find ways around it to indulge in porn.

Eventually I got a new Job, which helped me to be BUSY (very important my lads. stay busy.)

Recently, With that combination, I was able to be busy enough to ignore porn for 6 days. I will be very specific because I feel this is important.

Day 1: Busy with work.

Day 2: Busy with work.

Day 3. Urges but able to ignore them.

Day 4. Urges but work forced me to ignore them.

Day 5. I had to by my own will power acknowledge them but know not to give in.

Day 6. Urges felt like they would overpower me, but thought about the rewards by not looking at porn.

On day 7 I had sex with Acorn. and it was the BEST SEX I HAVE ever HAD IN MY LIFE. we were both amazed how long I lasted, (at least an hour) and after I came, I rebooted and we went another round.

Im here to tell you, you reward yourself by seeing this through. Dont let porn define you!!!!

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!! and in the end, its beautiful. its amazing. you are worth it. know that. and know its not going to be easy. its hard. Your going to get knocked down. your gana get your ass whipped. But its about how you respond that matters. its abput how much you dont give a fuck. you may get knocked down 100 times. get back up. fight, my brothers and sisters. fight on. you are special. you CAN do this. dont get discouraged. One mistake means more information on how you can do better next time!

I believe in you!


Tear that shit up.

you are in control of your actions!!!!

stay strong. throughout the "failures".

You will prevail.

 

Thanks!

I am 20 Years old.

 

Good luck