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Porn adiction and long distance relationship

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by potvis22, Mar 5, 2016.

  1. potvis22

    potvis22 Fapstronaut

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    Curently I am in a Long Distance relationschip... And I have an adiction to porn. My girlfriend knows the situwation.

    3 days ago I told her I was having a hard time. And I told her that there is this girl that I like and want to have sex with. I told her I miss the fisical contact and Will always love her but was looking for a way to have sex. Afther I told this we came in a huge ficht.

    In my vieuw its good to openly speak about those feelings and Be honnest about it... When I speak about it I can proces those feelings.

    Me and my girlfriend will not see eachother For 1 year what must I do? Can I have sex with that other girl? I need sexual contact els my adiction becomes wurse.

    Love to heart you views and tips.
    Thank you
     
  2. Heifercakes

    Heifercakes New Fapstronaut

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    I'd suggest you look up the definition of love.
     
  3. Gladiatori

    Gladiatori Fapstronaut

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    @potvis22 If you say you cannot then you cant. If you say you can then you can. Look inside for the answer. Do u need this pleasure? OR do u want it? You think you need it, but you want it. If you need it, then you lack discipline, and control; all while embracing hedonism.

    If you want to be a wild boar hunting for his mate then go and indulge. If you want to be a better stronger version of yourself, then work hard on controlling this.

    However...... She is leaving for a year. Its not fair to you, to wait 1 year for sex with her... NOt even close! She will definitely sleep with other people.... So think about this... this is a bullshit deal u are getting. IMO you need to break up and find a new woman. Don't take crumbs. If uw ant a new girl tell her, be a man and don't be a cheating worm.
     
  4. Veritech

    Veritech Fapstronaut

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    I want to know a little more information before trying to provide some advice. How did the relationship end up being long distance? Why the 1 year away?

    Examples:

    1) You had been dating and she is leaving town for college.

    2) She is in the military and is being sent overseas.

    3) You met when she was in town and the relationship has always been long distance.

    A little more info required.

    In my case I was dating someone in Undergrad and I went out of town for Grad School.
     
  5. plongeur

    plongeur Fapstronaut

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    There is nothing in your post relevant to porn addiction.
     
  6. nitsuj0786

    nitsuj0786 Fapstronaut

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    I see no problem with wanting to have sex with other women, you just need to break up with the other girl first. And no the addiction doesn't get worse if you don't have sex that is a lie to yourself.
     
  7. potvis22

    potvis22 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for all your comments.
    The situation is as follows when I lived in Asia for 6 mounts I met the love of my life now we are fighting a hard battle because I live in Holland and she lives in Qatar at the moment.

    I really want to stay with her because of her I felt real love again and she helped me in my addiction. But I am still in a porn addiction this moment so its extremely hard now ... and I dont know what to do ... shell I wait a year for her and dont have sex with other girls...

    What mus I do I realy need your help in this.
    Thank you.
     
  8. Gladiatori

    Gladiatori Fapstronaut

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  9. Your asking us if you should be faithful to your gf?
     
  10. DireMerl

    DireMerl Fapstronaut

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    Really?! She's definitely going to sleep with someone else? Wow. So you have next week's lottery numbers too?

    If you don't want to be in a long distance relationship then don't. But don't justify it by saying you can't go without sex for a year. And don't blame it on porn either. Either you love your gf or you want to sleep with someone else. Only you can make that choice.

    I'm also not surprised you ended up having a fight. What woman wants to hear that her partner is thinking about sleeping with someone else. You're quite lucky she didn't ditch your ass then and there.
     
    potvis22 and Joseph2015 like this.
  11. Veritech

    Veritech Fapstronaut

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    If you visualize permanence in your relationship such as marriage and a family then stay in the relationship. You must remain monogamous to her during the absent period. When you reunite, you will be glad you did. One year in a permanent relationship is not a lengthy period of time. If you can, try a few visits.

    If you do not see permanence in your relationship then let it go. Holding onto something that is not going to happen is not fair to either one of you.
     
    potvis22 likes this.
  12. Joseph2015

    Joseph2015 Fapstronaut

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    You said "I need sexual contact else my addiction becomes worse."
    Having sex with the nearest hot girl is not going to reverse your addiction. Fighting your addiction is about gaining control of your desires. Avoiding porn and abstaining from sex outside of a loving relationship, are part of the same battle.
     
    AlmostRuined and potvis22 like this.
  13. Joseph2015

    Joseph2015 Fapstronaut

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    Also, listen to DireMerl. He's right.
     
  14. DireMerl

    DireMerl Fapstronaut

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    I'm a she but thanks :)
     
    Joseph2015 likes this.
  15. Gladiatori

    Gladiatori Fapstronaut

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    @DireMerl Yes I have a crystal ball of the future with me. I can foresee the future. aha :D
     
  16. potvis22

    potvis22 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the comments.
    I made the decision to go for her and fight the battle hard mode :D

    How many of you fight this battle also hard mode?
    Will go for NoFap and no sex for one year its a goal I want to make to rewire my brain and focus more on my career.
     
  17. Jodokus

    Jodokus Fapstronaut

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    @Gladiatori (not knowing anything about that girl: "She will definitely sleep with other people") OUCH :confused::D
    but I still the like the rest of your post ;)

    @potvis22 brave decision! If you're serious don't underestimate the hardship of NoFap and maybe: don't be too hard to yourself: MO is rather cheating nor feeding the addiction.

    My situation is: I'm in a long distance relationship, but we see each other once or twice a month, sometimes we spend a whole week together. To be honest, sometimes I toy with the idea of cheating in one way or another. But the truth is I'm not Casanova but a porn-addict in the reboot process and I'm glad that I have my faithful girlfriend.

    But there is another thing. When I'm at her place I tend to relapse more easily. Partly it's the chaser effect (urges from sex with her), partly it's because I haven't made her place a fortress of urge-fighting as I did with mine :D
    Can anyone relate?
     
  18. Gladiatori

    Gladiatori Fapstronaut

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    @Jodokus I got burned enough times to know that.
     
  19. Joseph2015

    Joseph2015 Fapstronaut

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    @potvis22 good for you! Like jodokus said: brave decision. But if you really love this girl, and if you really want to take care of yourself and your career, it's the right decision.

    A year is a long time for porn addicts like you and me to go without PMO--if fall once during that time, or 10 or 100 times, remember to pick yourself up and keep going. You really can overcome this.
     

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