Dealing with Autogynephilia?!

Getting rid of porn is a really great first step. It's not uncommon for people who are immersed in the PMO lifestyle to have those feelings. I've had those feelings too, but the opposite, as I am a woman. Getting porn and sexual imagery out of your head completely will certainly help that, to some degree.

Seeing a therapist is also a good step, if that's something you're comfortable with. I mean... nobody is really fully comfortable with the idea of seeing a therapist, but it could be really helpful to work through why you have those feelings. Whether it's just related to porn, or to something else in your past perhaps.

I think a good thing to remember, too, is that you have a choice. If you are saying you want to live a heterosexual life and have a wife and kids, then that's what you should do. If that's truly what you want, deep down, then these feelings must be related to something else and you can choose not to give into those feelings. It might be difficult at first, but as you take the first step I mentioned, and possibly the second, I think things can get much easier.

The first one is most important, though. Get rid of all of those thoughts. If you truly don't want to think that way and you don't want to live that life, then stop yourself from pursing those thoughts. That's the only way the desire is going to fade. Stop all porn and sexual, autogynephilia-type thoughts for a good amount of time, and then see where you're at. My prediction would be that things will change a lot, just from taking that step.

 

I didn't even know what autogynephilia even was until I looked it up. But, yeah. First off, get rid of pornography, and maybe see a therapist like Steps said.

 

I had to look it up too. lol fancy word! I've heard of the concept before, but I didn't know the terminology.

 

I don't think that autogynephilia (man wanting a female body and getting sexually aroused by it even) is the same as a m-to-f transgender (man who believes he should have been born a woman and should possess a female body, but not necessarily getting aroused by it - especially if one thinks of oneself as a straight female). The first is almost like transvestitism, an otherwise straight man getting aroused by female clothing, in some sense, but he doesn't necessarily see himself as a heterosexual female. The fact that you don't want to transition into a transgender life seems to reinforce my point - you are not transgender. You are just transferring female body images (which arouse you) onto yourself for sexual pleasure. Does that seem to be on target? Definitely, getting rid of porn can start to adjust your thinking, or at least you'll be able to reassess again. You need to balance your erotic glorification of the female body with your own appreciation of your male body and masculine traits - having a female body is also not all that it's cracked up to be, after all, if you think of all the gynecological hazards and sufferings. Think of the messy menstruating downside and other infirmities with age. I mention the latter strategies as another way to stop the over glorification of the female body fetish here. Does that help?

 

Try to stop fantasizing about it too much. Because, the point you are reaching is somewhat abnormal (not judging you), and becoming toxic. Give your mind a rest. Do something that you like, like a sport or something like that.

And think of the great things of having a penis, in which some girls envy.

 

As we've said, getting rid of the porn and fantasizing and trying to be more realistic about the female body. @JoeinMD makes some good points about the female body not being all it's cracked up to be... trust me, I would know. You boys have it easy in a lot of ways. We all have our share of difficulties and we all have things to appreciate about the way our bodies function.

I think the problem here, and with so many of us in life, is that we want a quick fix. I think you're feeling overwhelmed and perhaps a bit hopeless because things aren't going back to "normal" as quickly as you want them to. But remember, it's taken years to get to this point. All of the many hours of porn and fantasizing and MOing you've experienced aren't going to be erased in a day, or even a month. It's going to take time and effort to get to the place you want to be. There is no quick fix for this stuff, so if you want to overcome it, you have to put in the time and the work, even when it seems fruitless. You have to trust that this will work and continue to walk the right path until you start to see results.

 

So, I guess I'm the one who didn't have to look up the word, eh? I must have seen way too much fetish stuff in my years.

First, autogynephilia doesn't mean you're transgender. Autogynephilia is getting aroused at the thought of yourself as the other gender, which is different from being transgender. Quote, "a man's paraphilic tendency to be sexually aroused by the thought or image of himself as a woman."
Second, it doesn't sound like you're confused about your gender identity so you living a transgender life would probably be a big mistake! To me it sounds like you're fetishizing the female body.
Third, it might be a fetish. So what? Get rid of the porn and see what changes in your life. If you're identifying with the women in the pornography, is it because you want to be female, because you want to be the star of the show, because of another reason? If it's a fetish, you can learn to embrace it or cope with it - it's your choice how to handle yourself. You are who/how you are, and you get to decide how to react to that.

So yeah, I agree with everybody here. Stop the PMO and then figure out where to go from there.

 

That's certainly a plausible theory for some. I think it depends on the person, and you have to figure out what is the cause for you. But if this is part of it, then that's great for you to know! Understanding is the first step to overcoming.

 

Progress!

 

Good luck! I completely support what you're doing; finding out and learning to love yourself is never a bad thing! Just remember, taking one sort of body hate and replacing it with another one isn't going to help you out, so be willing to look at yourself and say "Now that I look in the mirror and see somebody who looks good, was that actually the reason for my thoughts? Am I running from the thoughts, hiding from them, or dealing with them?" I could say it in my own words, or I could just quote somebody who says it better:

 

I'm in the same situation as Kriss93 here but I'm feeling myself getting better with each day passing by.
Still having alot of thoughts of being female but they disappear quickly
Feeling myself confident as a male is also something that improved alot and I'm so happy about that because that was an issue for my whole life.
Keep moving straight forward and we'll get there,
thanks for the support I've gotten so far here!

greetz

 

There's nothing bad about it if you were born that way, but if you have developed these desires, its likely because of perversions caused by excess porn use. You might just be bored with "regular" sex, and look for more. I think if you quit porn, you will return to normality bro. Good luck!

 

I know that I have autogynephilia and lead a normal heterosexual life for the most part. The lonliness comes in when you have no one else who has it to talk to.

 

I have autogynephilia and don't think it's a bad thing. I'm not addicted to porn either.

 

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