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I dont like porn?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by awakenow, Mar 8, 2016.

  1. awakenow

    awakenow Fapstronaut

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    So I actually posted something similar a long time ago but...

    Before nofap, I was masturbating a lot. But I have never really liked porn. Maybe sometimes some soft stuff, but usually I can get off to more simple things...even my own imagination. However, I am aware that I am still addicted to the dopamine rush that comes with masturbating to erotic visual stimuli. I guess I'm curious as to if there are any differences to being addicted to porn as opposed to being addicted to masturbating to more simple things. And how many of you out there are similar to me?
     
  2. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    Raises hand! I did eventually go to hardcore stuff, but for a good 5 years I only looked at topless stuff as part of me thought it wasn't as bad as full nudity or sex (and I actually despised anything below the waist, haha). I started with video games and movies though so it was all topless in the beginning for me.

    I feel this is what makes it so hard for me because I get easily aroused since that's what I trained myself on initially. However now that I've gone as long as I have it's easier to fight the urges and not be triggered. There may be a one or two times where it's harder than usual but I also remind myself to stop it and that was the old me.

    But to answer your question, other than having extreme fetishes, there is no difference between porn and soft core images or your imagination, it's all fake and training your brain to seek those out instead of the real thing.
     
  3. awakenow

    awakenow Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply! I can relate to what you are saying a lot! I also agree with you. In the end, it is still harmful for us to indulge in. I am glad that you have gotten as far as you have with nofap! I think it can be a bit harder for those of us that get turned on by more simple things. Plus not fapping for a while allows the sexual energy to kind of build up. Not too long ago I got incredibly horny just because of an interaction I had with a girl who I thought was mildly attractive! But to be honest, feeling horny like this actually feels pretty good! Its so much better than feeling horny because of porn.
     
  4. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    It has been hard, I started last July and relapsed about 30 times. It became hard even viewing certain clothing websites because the female models would set me off (I didn't search them out, they appeared on the home page). Avoiding that material as long as I have has helped me become desensitized to it. The last time I relapsed after viewing softcore images for about an hour, without any masturbation, just looking, I had a killer headache for about 4 days. That was when the red flags went up and it all came together for me to put a stop to it.

    It absolutely builds up the sexual energy and girls notice it. I've talked to more girls on this streak than I have in 10 years and no longer feel like I'm beneath them. And yes, having those feelings from real life interactions are so much better than any of that fake crap. Even if I just have a quick 1 to 2 minute conversation with a girl I just met it feels like a ray of sunlight is shining down on me. I almost pulled an American Pie the other night after this one girl was getting to me that much, haha. I hope when I get into a relationship that wont happen but if it does we can just laugh it off.:p
     
  5. awakenow

    awakenow Fapstronaut

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    Yeah It can be quite a process. Especially when it builds up so much that on the internet even the smallest thing can set you off. So you say that you relapsed after viewing images on the internet...but you didn't masturbate? I thought a full relapse is when you masturbate. Viewing images without orgasm is just edging isn't it? Not that edging is good I'm just wondering if I got it mixed up.

    Wow thats great that you are having these experiences with women! I'm happy for you! That is something that we all deserve. We must go back to doing what is natural so that we can enjoy life! Yes I find more and more that even just talking to women is an awesome and happy experience!
     
  6. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    Hardmode includes edging, which can be intentionally seeking out porn whether moing to it or not since it releases dopamine. I'm sure that's why my head hurt. I only considered it a relapse since I intentionally went to that site (one I went to for years) to ogle over the images there, for easily an hour.

    Thanks, it's great and I am really noticing a difference in how they interact with me because before I would stumble over my words or struggle with conversation topics so there was a lot of awkward moments and now it feels more naturally and the conversations flow. I get a ton of smiling and laughing from them as well, which is what's really fulfilling. It's 100% due to avoiding pmo since my mind is clearer and I seem to radiate positivity now!

    What's your current streak at?
     
  7. awakenow

    awakenow Fapstronaut

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    Ahh ok I see. Hmm well to be honest, I have watched some kind of porn in the past few days! I'm not sure how much of a detriment it is. This is going to sound a bit strange, but there is this certain genre of porn that is more about the emotional aspect of sex. When I watch this type of porn I barely even get horny and I don't masturbate to it. I know it seems like I'm making an excuse to edge, but I seriously watch it to sublimate for the lack of affection that I feel from women. Throughout my life I have denied myself of physical touch from people a lot, especially women. And my last relationship was really intense so I find this type of porn to be almost comforting and it temporarily fills a certain kind of void that isn't just sexual. But I assume that it must be damaging in some way considering I'm on hard mode! What are your thoughts?

    Yeah thats good! You seem to be emanating a lot of positive energy right now!

    I am currently on day 15. I'm actually going through a rough patch right now. Not in terms of urges but in terms of anxiety and not being able to sleep well.
     
  8. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    Well it's still porn, just a different type so it's still not good. But if I were you I wouldn't watch them because you should be using this recovery period to reboot to real girls. I understand though about viewing them to fill a void in your life, that was the excuse I used for years. Since I didn't have a girlfriend I'll just do the next best thing! Worse lie I ever told myself. On one of my relapses I watched a scene like that and it really hit my emotions harder than any other in the past because I was overwhelmed with the desire to experience that in my life with a woman, the love and passion behind sex and a relationship, so I can see why you would watch them, but it's best not to in my opinion.

    If I've learned one thing it's the the urges and anxiety come and go like crazy. I did notice a link between edging to videos and pictures and my anxiety so that's another reason why I stopped (and why you should too). There are days my anxiety randomly comes up but I just try to cope with it and I tell myself that it's just temporary and it'll pass. Good job with the 15 days by the way! For me days 25-40 were amazing since I had little anxiety in approaching girls. Hopefully it'll be the way for you soon!
     
  9. awakenow

    awakenow Fapstronaut

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    Yeah you're right! I agree that it is still porn and its still a way of trying to replace something natural and that isn't good for anyone! I also feel the same way regarding having a sexual experience! I am still a virgin and have yet to have a a solid sexual experience.

    Yeah I'll stop edging with anything at all. I need to completely take this type of stuff out of my life. I do feel a lot of anxiety as well so maybe it could be because of the edging. And thanks! I just have to improve and learn from my mistakes now! I'm sure I'll be in a good place soon.
     
  10. I think in your original post, the question answers itself. You, I, and everyone else, who makes it to this place is addicted to the dopamine rush. The rest are just buttons we are pushing to get it.
     
  11. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    Hi five man! I too am a virgin, which is due to being strangle held by porn for so many years that I had no desire to even go out and talk to girls (my clouded, addicted mindset at the time: "why go out and struggle with trying to talk to them when I can just go watch my favorite video?":rolleyes:). I was always shy before porn, but once that came into my life it was like the nail in the coffin for my social life.

    Now instead of being ashamed of being a virgin or anything like that I use it as a reason to get off my butt and go out there and start living my life. I'm the reason I'm still a virgin, no way around that. Back in 2010 I had a girl really showing a ton of interest in me but because I was so socially awkward (she wanted to go get drinks, I never drank because I never went to parties, so I told her no, sorry I can't, ie I had no drive or passion to get out of my comfort zone, which she was trying to get me out of) and clouded from porn I didn't realize it and threw away an amazing opportunity in my life. But instead of beating myself up over it I think about that moment and how it's not hopeless for me or anyone for that matter, I just need to stay strong and not let something as silly as pmo decide my fate in life anymore.
     
  12. Veritech

    Veritech Fapstronaut

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    I am not a virgin - not bragging - but I want you to follow my perspective.

    I see no distinction between a porn addiction and a masturbation addiction. We watch porn and we masturbate. If we do not have actual porn in front of us, we masturbate by imagining porn. Porn is the lightning while masturbation is the thunder.

    For normal people, masturbation is not a problem and may even be healthy. I look at it like other alleged vices such as alcohol and gambling.

    I enjoy the occasional beer and shot of scotch. I also enjoy the occasional outing to a casino. However, some people cannot control their alcohol intake and their gambling. To the alcoholic there is no "I'll just have this one drink" or to the gambling addict, there is no "I'll gamble only $100 then I will stop".

    I know very well that I cannot say, "I will watch just 10 minutes of porn". If I try, I will spend hours watching and masturbating. This is why I am finally trying to avoid any exposure to porn, not even a glimpse.

    My opinion is that a little porn here and a little masturbation there (for us addicts) is a recipe for disaster that will seriously impede our recovery.

    Also please do not think for a moment that after you do lose your virginity, you will be able to quickly quit porn after that. The addiction will follow you. I know this first hand.
     
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2016
    volt2187 likes this.
  13. kk76

    kk76 Fapstronaut

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    Some really good stuff on here that I learn from every day and I thank you for that. I love the thunder/lightning analogy.

    There are no half measures. Either I am stopping or I am not. I can not say that MO is ok but PMO is not because MO will eventually convince me to add P to the mix or I will replau from my past something I saw or did.

    I am being tougher with myself this time but with love and understanding.
     

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