Someone please help me....

Hi everyone. My name is Ryan and I'm a porn addict. I first found out about this when my girlfriend found some history I left on my phone. Before this I did not even realize I had a problem. I began to work on not using and learned that this was going to be the most difficult thing I have ever done. That was a year ago. I have been battling which feels like an eternity winning some and losing a lot. So I did good for almost two months and a few months back I relapsed. I wanted to tell my girlfriend but I couldn't hurt her like that again. From then I couldn't stop using and couldn't call for help. Here I am now and I broke her heart again. I need help. Please someone help me. I can't get this out of my head and its everywhere I look. I want to be a better man than I have been the past few months. I want to feel normal. I want to marry the love of my life and I can't do it like this. So I am reaching out for help. Like I should have done from the start. She was the one who found NoFap for me a year ago. I owe it to her to be loyal and make her feel wanted. I owe it to myself to be the best that I can. Can anyone help? Will I be able to have a normal life?
Thanks.

 

Yeah she did. The first time it was transwoman porn. This time it was gay porn. And I didn't have an answer for why other than I have a mental instability. That there is just something wrong with me in the head. I was normal at one point in my life and I want to make it back there.