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I quit Facebook

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by BackToManhood, Feb 10, 2016.

  1. BackToManhood

    BackToManhood Fapstronaut

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    This isn't about sex, just loneliness. I quit Facebook. My usage of it was so automatic that it was involuntary. I would go on Facebook or check Messenger constantly, without even thinking. So I quit it. Now my phone stays turned off, in a drawer. My laptop only lets me access email, no social media (besides here, which I need to use more sparingly).

    I've only been off it all for one day, but it is actually really tough! Now I suddenly have no one to really talk to. Yeah, I can email, but it takes longer, and in the end I'm still staring at a screen, so it's bad like Facebook, in a way.

    I also live in a different country from my home country, with a cheap phone card (can't afford more), so I can't really call anyone regularly. I can Skype with people back home, but I've been living here for so long that they don't really care to talk to me often.

    My job doesn't put me in interaction with really anyone. My classes are done for a few weeks. My flatmates don't really talk to me.

    What's going on here? Is my life really that lonely and I just didn't realize it until now?

    How do I make better, more frequent connections with people? How do I become a social being without relying on technology?

    Or have I just become overly-stimulated, and I need to learn to be a bit more independent and solitary with my thoughts? Should I take this opportunity to just dive into my work and studies and develop and refine my skills?

    I'm just confused.. I didn't expect it to be this painful.
     
  2. Gladiatori

    Gladiatori Fapstronaut

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    good 4 u brother. I deleted mine at Christmas.
     
    black_coyote and BackToManhood like this.
  3. ExuberantJellyfish

    ExuberantJellyfish Fapstronaut

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    The feeling of loneliness is just a feeling. The cause of it is not being alone, it is looking at being alone from a negative perspective. Looking at being alone in a positive perspective is called serenity. It is something each one of us is going to have to deal with eventually, yet many people run from it their entire lives and finally come to face loneliness when they are old and weak and their entire lives are behind them.

    In response to your question on how you become a social being without relying on technology, I would say make more eye contact with people, random people, and smile more. People like people who are positive.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2016
    Bale, Paddy, Gladiatori and 2 others like this.
  4. You will become more social the longer you get on your NoFap journey. That's what I've personally noticed anyway. Do things you enjoy and that are fulfilling, this will make you happy and feel that you are progressing. With your flat mates, I'd recommend making a meal together or watching a film with them. Even if it is just one of them it is a start. I've noticed that in social situations that once you get friendly enough with one person others come to you naturally because you come across as approachable and open. Just be yourself, look at your life, be happy with what you have already. Your living in another country to study/work, by choice I presume. Some people would literally kill to be in your position right now. I got rid of facebook half a year ago. I'm glad I did. I do so much more physical things in my life now rather than been on the computer. After a while it will come natural to get out the house and do things. The urge you get to scan facebook and browse the internet turns into an urge to go outside, exercise, work hard and socialise. Also because you are so busy, you will actually appreciate your time alone when it rarely happens and will most likely contemplate on your journey and be glad of been alive. It all comes together in time my friend, you have to just get out of comfort zones at the beginning and your life will get so much better. Comfort zones keep expanding all throughout our lives, keep pushing past them one by one and you will feel on top of the world.
     
  5. BackToManhood

    BackToManhood Fapstronaut

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    This is why I'm glad I come to this site. So many gems of wisdom on here! Thank you for your very insightful words, my friend. I will contemplate this and try to not to feel lonely by changing my perspective.

    Thanks for the advice! I'll consider what you've said and try to reach out more to the physical world. I guess I'll get used to it in time :)
     
  6. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Same for me.
    Facebok gives you the illusion of being together, but in fact you are lonely.
    I decided to quit and to meet people more often in reality.

    I quit more than one year ago, and I didn't miss it.
     
    Lucky1, GSarosi, Gladiatori and 3 others like this.
  7. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Find fulfilling activities which you can share with others.
    • One great way is always to study. You meet people and you widen your horizon. For example, to learn a language is always super great.
    • Another is leisure, like sports, sailing, hiking ... whatever.
    • And then, of course, working, together, in a group. It is fulfilling to do useful work, we are social beings.
    Last, but not least, enhance your social capabilities. Learn to decide and to lead people and projects.

    There is so much in life, just get started right now!
     
    GSarosi, BackToManhood and ThirdEye like this.
  8. BackToManhood

    BackToManhood Fapstronaut

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    I'm the same exact way with WhatsApp now. It's looking like I need to kick it to the curb...

    And yeah, it looks like we will have to suffer some losses by choosing this life. But it's the only life we can choose. We know that it is what we need, and in the long term it will benefit us in more ways than what we would have had if we stayed on social media. People will judge us, they will feel like we just abandoned them, which is sad because you shouldn't have to rely on a single *company*, like Facebook, to be able to maintain your relationships. But many don't see that.

    You're right! I really need to get involved in some social hobbies, and to start this I'll probably have to be the leader, encouraging my friends to come with me. Let's live life!
     
    SnowWhite and ThirdEye like this.
  9. black_coyote

    black_coyote Fapstronaut

    Totally agree with you...And I can relate with you...its like there is so much life and adventures...you just need to disconnect from the screens..
     
    PureStrength and ThirdEye like this.
  10. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    Congrats!
    I always refused to join the social media craze. I always believed I was a litte lbit of a dinosaur, but there is so much fake on these things. So much "keeping up with the joneses".
    People exposing their emotions to the whole planet.
    People geting in touch with the dude in the grade 9 math class from 15 years ago. You don't care they don't care. Faceshit is fake feeling of socializing.
     
  11. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    Never forget that only few years ago there wasn't even any internet. Did people feel lonelier because of that? No, they didn't, and I even want to claim that they actually felt less lonely. I was a child back then, so it's hard to compare, but I suppose that it can be concluded with three words: quality over quantity.
     
  12. Gladiatori

    Gladiatori Fapstronaut

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  13. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Well, yes and no. I spent my teenage years in the 1980s.

    On the one side, I remember I was a lot on my bicycle, because this was the way to see my friends. The only telecommunication was a fixed line phone with dial wheel, or of course writing letters! We also were "offline" and "undetectable" for 8 hours or more and nobody cared, that was really pretty cool. Today, when a child loses mobile phone signal, then police helicopters are in the air ;)

    On the other side, your range was "limited". Especially when you were living on the countryside. Today, you exchange with people all over the world, like in this forum. Such things simply did not exist 30 years ago! And in the 80s, you often lacked intellectual information - today you have the internet, with wikipedia and massive sources of information -- in the 80s, you mainly had TV, the church and a library, which was far away. That could make you feel not lonely, but isolated in a way.
     
  14. Jmb

    Jmb Fapstronaut

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    Iv been thinking about deleting my fb profile also .
     
    Gladiatori likes this.
  15. Got rid of mine 5 years ago never looked back..

    Social media is like looking into an empty refrigerator
    That only has ketchup and musturd bottles with some random meat with no writting., you keep opening it expecting something good but its always the same.
     
    fight for life likes this.
  16. darthstilio

    darthstilio Fapstronaut

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    2 years facebook free here so many accurate comments about it above. pne thing that helped me a bit was meetup i know its tech but really just for finding and scheduling be careful of any triggers but there are a lot of groups out there so you might find one that helps you connect with new people through a shared interest.
     
  17. scote73

    scote73 Fapstronaut

    The reasons I rationalize keeping my facebook right now is because A) I still like to check up on what others are up to and B) it's the only real voice I have right now in this world (besides the small one I have here, of course). I would love to start a blog, but have no real idea how.

    Quitting Facebook is a goal of mine, because I can feel its addicting effects. It's absolutely a reflex to check Facebook when I wake up, on break at work (when I have the time to give myself one), etc.

    But, I don't know. There are some very smart, intellegent people on my friend list who come up with the occasional gem of a post. Acquiring different perspectives is a passion of mine.
     
  18. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    I don't have a Facebook. Looking at what others are up to is not great, as everybody is showing off how happy they are and everything, but behind the phoney mask, there is real life hardship that they don't mention....

    It's also killing me when my kid comes up with a Facebook expression or deep thoughts shared millions of time..
     
  19. Thechosenone

    Thechosenone Fapstronaut

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    WORK ON YOURSELF AND PEOPLE WILL NOTICE! YOU'LL BECOME HEAVIER YOU'LL HAVE GRAVITY!
     

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