What Really Gets You Off?

I think I was happy before HOCD hit me. Have good friends, study in a nice place, have a nice family. I had everything to try and achieve my personal goals.
So yeah, I think all I want is this HOCD to end, with me being straight in the end of course. May sound a bit shallow, but that's really eating me on the inside.

 

What I would want from life to make me really happy:

1. Continued great health always for myself and my family
2. To own my own house in the place where I want to live
3. To be paid well for what I'm worth
4. A presidential candidate worth voting for
5. And others will come to mind later today I'm sure...

And to name the guitarist in order of appearance:

1. George Harrison and John Lennon
2. Jimi Hendrix
3. Jimmy Page
4. David Gilmour
5. Eric Clapton
6. George Harrison (again)
7. Brian May
8. Stevie Ray Vaughan
9. Keith Richards
10. Robby Krieger
11. Eddie Van Halen
12. Pete Townsend
13. Bob Dylan

 

I think happiness is purely a choice. I have so many good things in my life. Do I want more? Sure, there are things I still want. But if I think of it as "I will be happy once I get ____," that will become a never ending cycle because there's always something more to be gained from life. So you just have to choose to be happy with what you have and focus on gratitude for the things you already have rather than envy over the things you don't have yet.

 

What makes me happy is understanding the way of the soul, and living in accordance with the true nature of the soul. We live in a time when everything that exists seems to be in opposition and denial of the soul. The masses deride and laugh at those who seek the religious path and a reconciliation with God. If you say you believe in God you are called stupid and ignorant. But despite looking for some external source (girlfriend, good job, or some passing adventure) really that is all that makes me happy: living in harmony with the soul and understanding how God wants me to live.

 

I like to go out with the wife for supper, or going fishing with her.

 

Well, reference your last paragraph, this is what I was getting at with me and the wife fishing...small little things, in nature, whether its camping or something like that....it seems to cather to the part within us that was living on the land. I find these occasions relaxing....finding the beautiful in the small stuff...

 

I've been asking myself questions such as these a lot in the last few years. It's what has led me to realise I need to quit my porn addiction. Occasionally my mother will call me, asking if I want anything in particular for birthdays or Christmas. When I was younger, I would always give a straight answer. These days I can never think of anything material that I actually want, so I just ask her not to spend too much money and take care of her own finances.

These days I'm more interested in experiences than material things. I'm more interested in traveling to a new country, where I can meet new people, try new food and see new sights. I love having the freedom to spend time outdoors, be it cycling, camping, hiking, whatever (and if it rains, that's a bonus). Even when I attend a football match, often the result is secondary to the chance to catch up with friends and deepen the relationship just a little.

To tie all this back to the topic, a few years ago I was chasing any sexual high I could get. I wanted harder and more novel porn, I wanted time with escorts, I wanted extreme fantasies in chat rooms and phone sex lines. While I can't deny that it was fun at times, it never really left me fulfilled. It always left me feeling like I wanted something more from the experience. It was the search for something more that kept me going back to it time and again.

Compare that to the feeling of satisfaction I get when I complete a cycling holiday in another country, or the feeling of reaching the top of a mountain that I've just climbed with a friend, or the new friends I might make in another country, or maybe catching up with a family member I haven't seen in a long time. Heck, even tidying my apartment is more fulfilling than watching porn. At least at the end of the clean-up, I feel as though I've achieved something (however insignificant it might be in the eyes of the world). I also love cooking up a special pasta recipe that I devised myself and having it come out great. It's also much healthier than watching porn all day and eventually phoning out for pizza.

I've rambled on a bit here, but hopefully someone can take something useful out of this post.

 

I'm with @Porn Free Wanderer and @TakingTheSteps

Experiences are what make me tick. Nothing like going on an adventure. For me it's travel, scuba diving, walking and general silliness. Things that make great stories and lovely memories.

Also in achievements. I love ticking off a list or looking at something I've completed and being proud.

Underlying all of the above though, is that happiness comes from within. It is how you process situations and your outlook on life. I believe that I am in control of my happiness through positivity.

Watch this. He is awesome. And as a bonus it is hysterically funny. This is for business but applies to general life as well. This is something myself and hubby have believed for going on 15 years.

 

What makes me excited: Getting on an airplane. Long walks in the beach (lol) really though, and also swimming in the ocean. swimming in a pool comes a close second. Eating new delicious foods and visiting new cool restaurants with friends. Going out to eat at a cool new place by myself when I haven't done this in a while. Visiting my grandma and chatting with her. Visiting my mom and siblings in my home country. Achieving major milestones like cooking (anything for now), new job, new place to live. Going out for a drive when I haven't driven for a while. Going out to clubs and talking to women or dancing with them/acting a fool by myself when I haven't done it in a while.

What makes me calm: Going out for walks with my dog and truly focusing on the moment, going to the beach and swimming in the ocean and truly focusing on the moment.

 

Thanks! I wish all contests were as easy as that one.

My previous post was more of a long-term idea of happiness. What gives me the most immediate happiness is my kid and my wife, the beach, hiking in nature, morning meditations, music, swimming pools and hot tubs, and the feeling from my body and mind right after a workout.

 

The wake up call of the cold shower after my workout is pretty awesome... only when my body adjusts to the cold.

And as to Pete throwing his guitar... it's once in the history of Rock. It will never happen again to that height of awe.

 

1. To live free of the anxieties and fears that plague my mind daily. Even looking back on times when I was in misery, much of my past was not plagued by the very plausible fears that have come to haunt me, and I really want them to just be some bad dream that can go away so I can move on with my life and appreciate it. I once felt like there was hope for my future, and now I'm terrified of the future.

2. To freely create. To have times, places, and people that enable me to be at my most creative. I want to write books, practice, play, record, and release music, make underground movies, and more. But my situation has made most of this either impossible or as difficult as possible, and I have not yet encountered any environment that offers any kind of real support for my ideas.

3. To live a lifestyle of my own choosing, by my own rules and standards, with my kind of people. If I'm not harming anyone, why is this such a tall order? I have an idealized way I want to live that is outside of the mainstream ways of living. This is hailed as a free society, yet living outside of the mainstream ways of living is considered a stupid adolescent fantasy at best and a serious threat to social (and otherwise) order at worst, while obstructed down to the finest detail by people and organizations from all corners of life.

4. To be at peace with myself. To make sense of the mistakes I've made in my life, and forgive myself for them. To live with confidence and dignity and an understanding of myself (and the world I live in) that is not completely (or nearly completely) depressing and scary. To just feel comfortable in my own skin for once and accept myself in a fully realized, much-improved way.

5. To be able to afford things like food, shelter, medical procedures, etc., without having to chain myself to some dystopian corporate zombie state for life.

These are all things I want and need, and have tried (so far in vain) to accomplish in my life. Yes, I sound fatalistic when describing them, because this is what my experiences have taught me. If I had been able to achieve these things, I would not be on this site. All the time, I'm looking for any sliver of reasonable hope I can find. Merely comforting me makes very little difference. I need real change in my life, a lot of it, and for the better. I just don't know how to find it.

Probably sounds ranty and whiny. Whatever. Just felt like I had to get this stuff out, I guess.

 

Cool

 

For me this is what it really comes down to. PMO promises a lot, and it can occasionally be fun for a while, but it never delivers as much as it promises. That's why we always surf for P with multiple tabs open. It's almost as if nothing we find can ever satisfy us.

On the other hand, in life, we can find satisfaction everywhere. And if we keep going, we can constantly ramp up the challenge and the skill level, and find new things to do. In my case, I took a cycling holiday in Malaysia last Christmas. The conversations I had with new friends I made over there gave me ideas about new places there I can venture in that part of the world. The same thing happened in Croatia and Slovenia last July. It's the same for any other fulfilling discipline. I'm planning a house clean tomorrow, and I'm sure I'll find other things I can do in that area to make it look and feel better.