Help me! What is Mental Stimulation while Masturbating?

(This post contains TRIGGERS!)

This is something thats been troubling me for all my life.

Ever since I can remember I would masturbate to pictures of naked women.
I not even once fantasize and masturbate to people in real life, always Playboy or some other erotic magazine or newspaper. I would soon after realize that if I cut a picture of a naked girl and put them together, I would start to get myself quicker to orgasm. Which was great because i was hiding from my parents and all.

I was 15 and I got my Internet, masturbated every day or every second day to Porn, I can't say if I was bored or horny, I know i loved edging to erotic pictures, sex gif files, and sexual drawings. I know I was horny when young, I couldn't wait to get myself to see some pictures and sometimes I would look and look at my old CD because it had sex on it, so I honestly don't consider myself Asexual. But i was horny to pictures, not real life outside. I also love humping with my GF naked and having her touch my member, same with me and touching her breasts and body, so I know i don't lack that desire still. But I also feel like my dick is somehow desensitize. I masturbate a lot the dry way, not waiting for the natural lub to come out, (I still got my whole skin), I would just do my masturbation fast and I think is terrible.

But its the lack of mental stimulation that worries me.
I watch porn for 10years now, I stopped watching it for a month now.
I masturbated to visual on screen pictures, never by myself and my fantasizes.

I would get mental stimulation where I would get my GF giving me sexual talking, like if we sextype I would always get a turn on, while fantasizing her (us) I would fantasize her giving me ORAL and voices of her would give me an erection, but then I wouldn't have the need to masturbate to that at all. I also realize that us two are the only fantasy i have while taking bed. For some reason i never fantasize anybody else prior-to this, but I did have lucid sex dreams fucking other women which made ME wake up feeling libido.

I also realize that if i was to start masturbate to only physical sensation watching a wall or something, it would take me nowhere, and if I was to check her naked pictures she send me, her face, he breasts, her ass, her genitalia vagina, I would start to feel like I'm about to escalate, then I would close the folder and I would feel like my escalation would disappear slowly, until i re-open the file and see her naked body with my eyes, then my escalation would come up again.

At one point I was thinking I was gay, but never did any of the gay pictures did anything to my desire to fap, or gay porn. I never had interested in watching that, it felt dry to me. Nothing exciting like straight porn, Lesbian porn also felt boring because it had plastic in it, but I think i desensitize myself from it, because I can remember being on solo sex-cams and solo striping videos enjoying them. Overall i can recognize a handsome face from my gender group but I don't have any desire for sexual things at all. And if i fantasize a man giving me ORAL it wouldn't trigger me at all, there needs to be a woman in it, my girlfriend as of right now. Can't get myself excited watching anything that doesn't have at least one woman in it.

Last time I was with my GF I got a HJ with lub and I was able to come in about 4-5 minutes and she was going normal speed, I was having my eyes closed the whole time, as I was focusing on breathing, but I can't say that my mental mind was playing any gameplay because I don't think it did.

Which is weird because if i was to use Lub on myself trying to get off while just there closed eyes, I would fail. I think big part was the desire of her hands touching my junk that made me excited enough from the physical aspect to come, without thinking much inside, and that made me finish.

Question:
1. What is mental while having sex? and is it a must to a healthy sex life? I would imagine it would play a huge role in escalation, but mine is so focus on pictures and visual, its like I'm wired on that being I only fapped to that all my life ever since I was a young kid that didn't know any better.

2. I can get a full boner, touching her body, hugging, kissing even just on the lips, while cuddling, rubbing, dry humping, holding hands, grabbing her ass, boobs, and in the end also just getting close to grabbing her boobs, i would be erect before even touching them so where is this stimulation coming from, if its not mental? I know desire had something to do with it. Actually i don't get automatic erection to porn, I need manual stimulation, but i do get automatic erection while with my GF. But i feel mental arousal as one would say is not present still which worries. Its like a mental block in the way. I'm 27 years old and she is my first GF, yeah i masturbated a lot, didn't need sex when I could get it at home, but romance and sex time is important to me and she means everything to me and I don't want to blow this away. She is the first that made me experience automatic erection just kissing her hand first day.

I don't need to manually stimulate to get it up while with her, so i didn't suffer ED. I have morning erection also. Actually my erection is weaker while by myself even while watching porn, then while with her. But its this lack of mental stimulation fantasy that worries me. Also my erection are stronger when we type to each other which takes imagination and mental stimulation.

I would fear this (mental block) combined with condom will give me delay ejaculation and hard time to maintain erection, with no mental help to back it up.

I'm scared guys, what should I do?

 

very interesting point regarding books and movies, I also think that mental stimulation is more of a female trait. I guess modern society is a thing noways, still the idea od lack of mental being lack of emotional is still worrisome for we both lived stressful lives.

Thank you for reading on all of this and replying, I really appreciate it.

 

im staying away virtual reality porn.... In general I'm making cut from everything. 90days fresh no fantasy, no porn, no masturbation nothing. Will update you all good people on hiw it all turns out for me

 

will do, sorry abou that