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Here we go!

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by comfortablydumb, Apr 13, 2014.

  1. comfortablydumb

    comfortablydumb Fapstronaut

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    I'm a 31 year old gay guy in London, UK. I've been using porn since I was about 15, back when you needed a dial up modem and it took the best part of an evening for an image to load! I've been through a few attempts to stop using it over the years and have made it a couple of months without but I have always slipped back into it. This time I'm 13 days in, no P, no M. I didn't start out to stop this time. I had an essay to write for a course I'm doing and found it very difficult (as usual). I find that at times of stress I end up using P much much more. I think I sort of burnt out and after a week of heavy use I just had no interest in P or M. A few days in I thought maybe I could use this natural lull to kick-start a nofap experiment. I haven't set myself a goal (yet), just taking it a day at a time. The craving for P has come back now and it's hard to stay away but I'm managing so far, using exercise and mediation to deal with the desire for P. As I've not really masturbated without P for so long, as long as I stay away from P, I don't have much desire for M. Part of my reason for trying to cut out P now is that I'm in a new relationship and I want sex with my boyfriend to be my focus, not P. I haven't talked to him about this yet, it's a bit too soon for me at the moment but haven't ruled out talking to him about it in the future. Anyway, that's a bit about me and why I'm here. Open to any hints, tips, support anyone has and hope I can help others out in return.
     
  2. AshD16

    AshD16 Fapstronaut

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    We are all here for you. I'm a college student and I can definitely relate with you are a class can be so stressful and so I would use P more. I guess that's just the part I have to work on more and to think about what I could do next time I'm stressed out. I started doing push ups and stuff which seems to help me let the tension out. Keep going with your recovery. It'll be worth it. You're not alone and I have temptations that I face every day.
     
  3. comfortablydumb

    comfortablydumb Fapstronaut

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    Thanks AshD16, it's good to know its not just me that struggles with P in times of stress. Thanks for the push up tip too. I use meditation when I get cravings but its good to have alternatives. Good luck to you too, 71 days is really impressive!
     
  4. MLondon

    MLondon Fapstronaut

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    Sex should be about the sensation of touch, intimacy and anticipation not visual aesthetics. Porn has made you forget this.

    If you are feeling stressed and feel that M would help, do it! Give yourself two minutes in the shower and rely solely on touch rather than thought. This won't give you a guilt induced O.

    Good luck!
     
  5. comfortablydumb

    comfortablydumb Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I completely agree with you MLondon. My brain has a very skewed idea of what sex is.

    I'm planning to start masturbating again eventually (without porn or fantasy) but I want to give myself a break from it entirely first. I think if I tried to M like you suggest now I'd end up fantasizing or visualising P.

    Thanks for the suggestion though, ill come back to it later hopefully.
     
  6. liberationtime

    liberationtime Fapstronaut

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    I think you're focus is in the right place. You've started on a great path here, and I can completely relate with you. I also am hoping to use meditation as a means of taking myself out of my PMO habit. I, like you, am also not sure if I plan to stop masturbating altogether, but I certainly want to release my addiction to the repetitive and objectifying habits I've had before. Intimacy and real human relationship/ contact are very important to me. I'd like to remember this and be able to put into practice with myself, my relationship with my boyfriend, and also be able to devote more of my focus to every day interactions and responsibilities.
     
  7. comfortablydumb

    comfortablydumb Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, it's really important to me to get away from porn to help me increase my level of intimacy with my boyfriend. I've come to the realization that I don't ever really feel horny! I can still have sex with him but its usually on his initiative, not mine. Porn oddly has wiped out my sex drive and my desire for human contact. Like you say, really human relationship and contact are really important. It was great to read your post this morning as I'm having a "what's the point in giving up" moment and you've reminded me why I'm doing this. Thanks!
     
  8. MLondon

    MLondon Fapstronaut

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    My bf has exactly the same issue as you. It can be solved over time.
     

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