Porn has ruined my marriage

Get your shit together. You can still get her back if you show her you're on the right track.
Make her see how much you work on becoming a better man for yourself and she'll love you for yourself.

Or not. It could go either way. But if you quit porn, you win in either cases.

 

I hate saying this, but my best advice to a guy with three children with a wife knowing her ex is is a porn user is ...

Get a good Divorce lawyer!!!

Pay the legally required amount of support for your kids, but have a strong attorney if your ex tries to exclude you from having a relationship with your children.

The Court process can get really vicious and ugly very quickly.

 

Wow, talk about some hopeless comments above. I don't know what the state of your relationship is man. How far gone do you feel things are right now? You've come to a good place man, this is a community where tons of men and women battle with this and many have found great success. Many guys have wives, and have found success in the fight against this. Do you feel like theres hope with your wife to mend the relationship? I would love to hear a bit more of what's going on. I have a wife, and have had way too many tough conversations with her about this. I just know that losing the incredible blessings that you have in your family, as hard as the whole situation may seem, would be something you would probably seriously regret.

 

By the way, I have three kids too, and am 29.

 

@Kevin442424

Well... That is pretty bad situation.

(If your wife is in the situation, that she still loves you and is badly hurt, consider the stuff below)

One thing is that you understand that you did wrong, the other is to change yourself.

Consider following:

1. Get a Therapy. (counsellor)

Reason:

A. It is important for you to get better.
B. It is important for your family to see that you are changing for better.
C. It would be important for the court if there would be a divorce. (see that you are working on yourself for better)

2. When in therapy:

A. Get a new clothes
B. New Hair Cut
C. Go to see your wife and the kids

(buy something for your kids, possibly something the whole family has good memories on, not sure if you should buy something for the wife(well she could take it as a pressure))

Reason:

Your Family needs to see that you are really trying. Your wife needs to see you with the family (as it was when it was all good)

3. Discuss with the Counsellor if it would be beneficiary to be a part of the therapy.

A. Genuinely repent.
B. Become the guy again she has fallen in love with.

Reason: You need her to begin to believe.

4. If the situation gets better, consider using Covenant Eyes with your wife as a counsellor.

Reason: This would establish the ultimate trust between you two.

5. Give the relationship time. Girls love cuddling.

//
Note that this applies for the situation if she still loves you...

I wish you good luck!

Now, concentrate to get better!

 

Nice, and don't forget to quit porn

 

ALL THIS!

For the emotional relationship, well its maybe because she doesnt feel you anymore. Stop, rebuild trust and stop doing porny sex.

 

Get involved with this forum. Connecting with warriors who are fighting the same fight will strengthen and encourage you. We are soldiers in the foxhole. You need to kill this beast right now and then connect with your wife. The connection will come naturally when you have separated yourself from your addiction to the screen. You need to win this battle and take your life back now, for you, for your wife, for your children and the generations to come. It is never to late to fight for the man your need to become. Don't lose hope, you will win this battle.

NEVER SURRENDER

 

There is a book called "men are from mars women are from venus", people said that this book solved their relationship problems, i think you should give this book a read to understand how women think, then try to kill the distance between you and your wife.
I really hope you get your lives back together

 

You are the father of her children. Nothing you do will separate that bond that yall have. But if you do not change your ways and prove to her that you are putting in 110 percent effort to do so. That bond will weaken.
You have so much motivation to employ my friend, do it for your kids, do it for your wife, do it for you.
Cleanse your mind and body so that you may act with your heart in all things and become the best man that you can be.
If you can think of it, it can be done, just takes time.
Good luck brother

 

I have been married for 36 years and because of porn went over the boundry and had an aaiiar that my wife and i are painfully working through. I might ad i am also bi sexual. I love my wife and we will heal and so can you, if you still love her and she is willing to talk about the affair with you there is hope. My wife and i are healing because she now knows me better and we are becoming much closer.

 

Hi there.

I can hear you still really love your wife, so I'm assuming you don't want to get divorced & find a real porn star to marry

So get your shoulder behind your recover & really go for it. Pull out all the stops. Your marriage is not over until you both say it is.

I'm not sure if right now is the right time to tell her about your PMO addiction - you should seek advice. But get busy with your recovery & reach out to her.

It's never too late to start building bridges.

T22.

 

Sadly it appears as though @Kevin442424 posted this one message and went MIA the same day. I hope that means he is working things out with himself and his wife. If he ever logs in again, I hope our words of caring and encouragement serve to remind him that he can win this battle and we want him as a part of this community. For the rest of you, keep being awesome. You are needed and appreciated.