Five months of Day 1

It's great you are doing this at age 17. Many here wished they had started young. Since you are in school, school can help you stay busy during the weekdays. Find a job in the weekend if you don't have one to keep yourself engaged during the weekends.

You can also download k9 blocker to block porn from your comp/laptop etc. Whenever you get free time, exercise at home; you don't need to go to the gym for that. Do some push ups and jumping jacks everyday to let the energy flow. Go out for a walk, run, meditate etc can help too.

If you are serious about recovery, it is possible. Always remember that you are not alone who is going through this and failing. We all here have failed thousands of times before earning a healthy streak. Don't shame yourself for failing. Failure is the first step of success!

Good luck!

 

We all feel pathetic right after a relapse. Now the question is do you want to live like this or do you want to choose a path that leads to recovery?

 

Nothing is permanent. These feelings will go away after sometime if you go for a reboot.

 

These are some big emotions you're talking about. Do you have access to anyone in mental health that you could work with. I think the two issues (depression and PMO) are related for you. The depression is pushing you towards PMO which makes you feel more depressed. Having someone to talk to about the underlying issues may help you attack this thing from both fronts and help you stabilize your mood. The high school years were really tough for me. You're making some positive changes in your life at an early age and I commend you for that. Try to find something healthy that you're passionate about. Some kind of hobby to keep you occupied and focused on your goals. You really don't need a gym to get a great work out or exercise regularly. Start small and work your way up if this is something that you think will help you. Don't give up on this and seriously consider finding someone to discuss these issues with. Keep fighting buddy

 

Hello Lord, thank you for sharing. First your story inspires me and helps me to continue this effort. I will certainly admit that its very difficult to abstain from lust and masturbation. Even as a married person I can admit that handling lust, porn and masturbation is tough and next to impossible for someone who has been so accustomed to masturbating even at the slightest thought of stress. Even today, I tried but didn't orgasm.

Reading so many stories about masturbation and depression has opened my eye to a world I never knew existed. I've always considered myself a very strong willed person and very goal oriented and I will say that if you're trying to set a goal of never masturbating again, you've taken on more than you can chew. Your goals must be small and attainable or you will create an atmosphere of failure, depression and guilt.

First you must clearly understand your problem and write it down. If you masturbate ever 4 hours, 8 hours, 12 hours. Try not masturbating for 5 hours, 10 hours and 16 hours. You will eventually get to 365 days and build and incredible self esteem.

There are so many women out there that are absolutely looking for relationships and would probably love to have a relationship with you. My advice is to join a dating website or another community that piques your interest; maybe a hobby or work related group that takes trips meets occasionally and become very active. You'll be surprised that you'll be hitched before long.

Just remember, it is very important to take small steps in life in order to become successful.

Good Luck.

 

Lol. No, he is not ready for a relationship. You don't look for someone to "fix" you or fill a void, that repulses people. They might pity you and be nice for a while, but they won't want to date you. You need to get in the habit of thinking about yourself and what you want, like 90% of the time. It sounds like you don't even know yourself. When you aren't feeling so lost and worthless, all these emotions should fade away.

You've heard this advice a million times already, but have some goals. It's really the only way to be focused and happy. If you're just waiting for the days to go by, you'll be so bored that indulging in pleasure is the only thing you can do, which could be watching porn, eating, watching tv/computer or whatever.

Everyone should have fitness goals. You say you can't afford a gym membership which is fair enough, but try looking on youtube for some home fitness videos. You can train every muscle in your body without any equipment, don't know why more people don't do it. Start out with push ups and sit ups, you'll feel stronger and more confident.

And good news! Age 17-18 are the most stressful years of your life (for most people). You're nearly finished highschool and out in the real world, which can scare you. You can feel like it'll be the end of the world if your grades are low, or you don't know what you want to do. So hang in there for another year, look for something you're passionate about and make some goals man. You need goals to work towards, and in highschool most teens are just drifting by, stressing about their grades and procrastinating. That's the kind of stuff that leads to depression.

If you think it's something else bothering you mentally, then tell us. You are anonymous on a forum - you can open up to us completely and we'll have no way of knowing who you are. Your depressing posts are very vague and doesn't give us much to work on.

 

And what @ddt01 said, start by cutting down. If you PMO twice a day, cut down to once a day, then every second day and so on.

 

I've learned from experience that not all women like me either, but there are a number of them that do. I'm sure the same goes for you as well. I try to teach my oldest daughter about being self confident by telling her to know and understand what makes her special as she is not a math and science kid. She likes art and writing and feels maligned in school. Its up to me to make sure that she understands there is an awesome place in this world for her and I need to make sure that I keep telling her this because its the truth. Your surroundings may not help you to understand that, but be certain that there are tons of people out there just like you that think you are an incredible person. Just get to know yourself and enjoy being yourself and you'll attract others that enjoy the same things that you enjoy as well. Just be awesome at being you.

 

You are here for a reason, aren't you? The purpose of your visit to this site and making up an account tells us that your goal is to go nofap. You have already taken a huge step. There are millions out there who are suffering but don't know the cause of it. You are one of the few lucky ones who have identified their problems. So no need to worry if you don't love yourself right now but the future isn't here yet. You can and will change like many of us here.

 

I agree 100% with @Awakening123