Getting Triggered by cute girls

You are not alone. The ladies having channels on youtube are usually good looking anyway.
You 've been watching porn for a long time I assume. Your brain likes novelty (Coolidge effect). You are probably objectifying women. The face is not only a face anymore, when you are a porn addict.

Spoiler: triggers

It's the surface to ejac on, the orifice to get BJ and DT BJ, its the O faces, etc in your porn-filled mind. The face is part of pleasure in this case.

There is a lot of nice performers on youtube. There is a lot of nice ladies out there, at the mall, on the street, etc.

For you, watching "nice girls material" right now is call a P-sub. Its a porn substitute, BECAUSE you get triggered by it. I suggest stopping wathcing these videos for a while. During that break, try to sanitize your thoughts. Try to avoid objectification of women. Try to see the human being (try to imagine the person is sexless, etc)..

 

thats our society, you gotta learn to live in it. Theres always gonna be pretty girls everywhere. Conquer yourself and don't let them do it

 

oh yes, girls still get my attention. It used to be '' wow i wonder hwo she looks naked'', and then i would fantasize about sex etc. and now its like '' shes beautifull, good for her'' thats about it

 

If you are a guy with two eyes and still breathing, you will have to deal with this. It's just the way we are wired. But you can be the master of your thoughts. Stay in the game and win!

 

I struggle with this every day, even driving to/from work. Glancing at women in cars and on the street. Watching TV, looking at a normal magazine. Not only do I ogle, but I then degrade myself by thinking, "I could never get that one" and so on. One funny thing, the older you get, the wider the age range of women you find attractive. Not only do I still ogle the young ones, the ones in their 30's & 40's, and the older ones are looking better by the day. FML

 

Yes objectification does go away. But you have to do something about it. You need to analyze your thoughts, catch the objectification ideas and thoughts, and rationalize those.
It helps to think that the girl is a human being, not just a sex toy. Actually, you need to watch your eyes and mind when you go to the gym, to the mall, walking down the street. Make a point to keep your eyes leveled horizontally, not looking at body features.

Yes the coolidge effect goes away, when your mind is not seeking anymore. When you are at peace with yourself and not searching any other source of arousal but your GF in the bedroom, you mind is appeased.

Myself, I try to totally avoid any sex thoughts during the day, beside real sex with the wife. And then I let my body react, not my mind...

smells, tastes, touching, kissing, no conscious brain stimulus...if that helps!

 

It will pass if you let it pass. Hang in there brother.

 

It also helps to talk to some beautiful girls from time to time. This serves to 'demystify', or humanize, them; they are no longer the sultry sex goddesses swaying through the dim-lit corridors of your mind. Oh, and you might find a girlfriend.

 

This might sound a bit odd, but I have been trying to associate fear with any fake arousal.

I intentionally think a lot about how shitty I feel right after orgasm, how I stand at the toilet, wiping off and cursing myself .....how it creates numbed dopamine receptors.

Basically, I am training my subconscious that lusting after screen images or mental porn results in pain.

I've only been trying this for a few weeks, but it seems to be working. I find that I am automatically and quickly diverting my eyes from sexy images on the screen.

So..... rather than trying so suppress a feeling that feels good, I am teaching my subconscious to fear and run away from porn and lust.

Rather than fight against my subconscious, I am trying to train it to fight with me.

 

I guess I need to be on deserted island somewhere, because the idea of not looking at attractive women seems totally impossible to me. Have you seen what women are wearing these day? Should I even mention the leggings and the yoga pants? Are we supposed to walk around with blinders on? This issue seems more difficult to me than giving up porn. At least porn is confined to computers and electronic media for the most part. Women though, are EVERYWHERE!

 

You can not change the world, but you can change yourself.

 

Will having a girlfriend help with objectifying thoughts? Anyone else want to chime in?

 

Having a wife of 20 years hasn't helped me, so I guess that makes a me a pig. Feeling rather sarcastic and depressed tonight, can you tell?

 

Nothing external will determine who you are. You need to make yourself, or re-construct yourself if need be, at the existential level. What the mass mind does not want to admit is that at the core of our being is the moral self capable of real and radical choice. It abdicates itself to the majority. Our rational/ moral self, our sovereign self, which never goes away, has largely been plastered over in our modern world with a rampant egoism centred on self-gratification and a distorted view of human nature. Our misery, when indulging in excess, is also the protest of our better selves. Is this moralism? No, it's simply a philosophy of self-determination, dignity and freedom. The unexamined life is not worth living. Anything less is a form of 'bad faith'.

 

There is a stimulus and then there is a reaction. The reaction you describe happening in your mind where just a visual look at a cute face turns your thoughts to hyper sexualized fantasying is unhealthy and unsustainable.

You know it otherwise you wouldn't be here posting about it. This reaction you describe is automatic and is a byproduct of porn abuse. You can't control it, so it brings you shame. That ends up bringing self hate. These are all not good things.

The healthier mind will not jump from a visual of a feminine face to perverse thoughts of pornographic acts with that person. The healthier person would just recognize the face and admire the face as a thing of beauty, but of another being. A being with a soul, a history, imperfections, a background, fears, dreams, hopes, family, personality, and so on.

When you break free from the grips of PMO, and when you regain control of your chemistry, thoughts, and emotions, you become to humanize once again. It's a natural process, and not one modified by the minds of men.

I suggest backing away from anything that turns you on. Anything that produces hyper sexualized thoughts which leave an impression of longer than five seconds. If you are left affected and excited, don't return to that source. Do this until you have 90 days free of No PMO and then reaccess what is happening in your subconscious. At that point, ask yourself, "am I having reactions or taking actions that bring me shame?"

Good luck and thanks for posting this and initiating this discussion.