Sih

What a day, I had so many revelations, particularly one of releasing pain. How did I get there?

I'm in the gym stretching, and I just had this thought of: "I always do these same stretches." So then I was reminded about a conversation with a colleague about muscle memory, and just reflected on that idea of muscle memory. I do most of my workouts, movements, my emotions, my reactions to things, my thoughts are just me going through a regular pattern of responses - nothing new, nothing fresh.

Then it dawned on me later, that with all of my routine patterns, habits, etc., it also has directed the way I have responded to life: always in reaction to pain. Having been hurt by friends, relationships, etc., and always being on gaurd against that. It's not living happy, it's always being on defense. Release the pain. I could feel my muscles opening like beginning to release years of pain. Wow! So big, I thank God, yoga, and meditation for this kind of insight.

 

Awesome bro, I was hoping this would help out.

 

Day 90!

 

What does 90 feel like? A little scary actually, because you complete this thing, and then once you accomplish it, you feel like, okay, what now, what's my reward? But the journey is the reward. I have learned so much and come so far in making new friends, getting more rest, not feeling ashamed or like I'm hiding something from people or a part of myself. I initially was just going for no P, but then decided to do no PMO a week later. I'm glad, because then I got to experience the whole retention thing, and I think it does help with energy, focus, and looks. I know I am much healthier and youthful looking.
So these are just my initial thoughts, but I know it runs much deeper. One thing are my guards. I have let so many guards down, and manned up to who I want to talk to, and go for my goals. I haven't arrived yet, but I'm so much closer than where I was.

 

So this idea of "flatlining". I think because P obviously overstimulates, and MO too when abused, we begin to think overstimulation is the norm. Our media culture also overstimulates. Marketing and commercial attempts to push whatever products: food, clothing, tv shows, movies, etc., it's all so over the top that we are like that frog experiment where the frog doesn't know it's being cooked if you raise the temperature one degree at a time. We are like this in our culture. Take television shows for example. What is on tv now would have been called P ten or even five years ago, some even today. It just continues to keep pushing the envelope for more media viewership and hype, and when you have 20 networks trying to push the bar further and further, you get what we have now, and it will continue to get worse. Conversely, it could also be pushed in areas of good and positivity, but no one wants to see that, that's just too boring. And speaking of boring: What's wrong with boring? Yeah, it may not be exciting, but what is excitement about? Are we meant to be "excited" 24/7? Which leads me to my point. I love to go out, but for the past three days I have come home early, and I feel so good. Home is a place to recharge and relax, it's not a dungeon or punishment. We can "overstimulate" in our home too, but that's not what it's for. Rest and boring is good, maybe even normal. The key word is balance, and healthy balance. Healthy balance of food, sleep, medium entertainment, learning, and growth.