What I want to share with you

Things I want to change:

Even if it´s hard or scary I want to try to live my life to never regret anything.
Take care of myself before anyone else. i am not a goody two shoes and I will not act like as if I was one. Taking care of yourself isn´t selfish or egoistical but how nature is.
No one else will take care of you if you don´t.
Respect myself and my time.
Value myself and my time.
Stop procrastinating.
Facing my fears and problems, there is no other way to overcome them.
Get a neutral, lofty attitude. - Try this sometime, when someone else wants to convince you of their opinion - don´t smile and strengthen their opinions, but just listen, they will automatically be way more invested in the converstation and try to convince you way harder. Don´t be a people pleaser. don´t mask your insecurities behind "being nice". You would be looked down upon.

Care about other´s feelings as long as they don´t hurt mine. +
Don´t care about other´s opinions about myself - because I just don´t want to care or worry about what my neighbor, teacher, the guy from the supermarket thinks about me. I don´t care if this makes me an a*s.

Let´s face it, many people don´t think before they open their mouths and that´s why I only take the people serious I want to take serious. and of course i don´t take everything said serious because - many people like to talk trash and don´t really have a bad intention behind.
Also - I will stop engaging in gossip in any way or any kind.
I will cut ties with anyone who doesn´t respect me or value me, no matter whom.
I will leave behind anyone who willingly pulls me down.

I understand that I can be my biggest ally but that right now I myself am my biggest foe. I am the one who makes myself powerless, how thinks negative and puts me down.
I will change the wiring of my brain I will change it until there is no fear, no worry, nor procrastination left.

I only want to think positively, realistically of course but the glass is always half full or half empty.

I want to take a step back from my past, accept it and understand that i am a different me, a different being from back then. I don´t carry the weights from the past. When I started NoFap I decided it was time to die ("die"). To kill my negative thoughts, my personality etc.. and be reborn anew. As a white sheet.

I don´t give anyone (else) the fault for my (past) problems. Life isn´t kind, it just is.

I want to stop spending time thinking and worrying and just live.

I´d rather say a thousand wrong things and one right thing, than never talk at all.
I`d rather fail a thousand times and succeed one time than never try and never succeed at all.
I´d rather take a thousand wrong turns and just one right turn than stand on the same spot my whole life.

And also very important, I want to only need my own validation, only my own respect and my own acceptment.

I will be independent from anyone or anything. I will life a beautiful, carefree and powerful life, right out from the book.

I will change my mindset, change my point of view and subsequently change my reality. Today it may be grey but starting tomorrow everything will be continously turn into gold.

I don´t care if others accept my way of living or me. I will not stand in anyone´s way as long as they don´t stand in my way.
I will live a life I can be proud of. A life with dignity, dominating fortitude, joy, carefreeness and beauty.

I will repay other´s grace 10 times and other´s missgivings a hundred times.

I will stop being "nice" to mask my fears and insecurities and start being genuinely kind to the ones that I deem deserve it.

I don´t want to be an angry grumpy guy running around, but never in my life will I be a people pleaser or sucker (again).
I´d rather stay alone my whole life and die from "loneliness" than be doormat for others.

My mind and my spirit are slowly transforming into a sword - increasingly sharp, harder, faster, more dureable and more flexible. And it will cut through any foes, may it be PMO or anything else.
A sword that will protect myself and those dear to me. A sword that will only be drawn when necessary but always when it´s necessary.

I will be honest with you. I have no interest in being a "good guy, nice guy".

I will always want honest, good people to succeed but if I have to choose, I will always choose myself over others when the decision is really necessary.

I have my "faults" and honestly, I am not ashamed for these, I pointed out right now.

I have no interest in living a passive life. Better make some enemies than no real friends in life right?

From today on, I again take charge of my life. I take 100% of the duties and responsibilites.

I don´t care if I am to fail, because i don´t waste time on thinking about failure.
This is not just about PMO.
I don´t give PMO the fault that I have PMO. I am no longer a victim of PMO. I chose PMO, because back then, I needed something to keep me alive and distract my from my real Problems. And because I am not a victim but a chooser of PMO, now I decided to abandon it. Even if my brain and body carve it because of hormonal reasons It´s my responsibility. And for myself, my word is a law. And I don´t break my laws. because my laws are the firmament that builds myself.

This has become a long text but I think it came out pretty well.
I don´t know if the reactions will be good or bad but as stated above - i don´t care too much, because i am satisfied with it.

Don´t forget: every thought and ever second gives birth to a part of our new self. The ancient romans said the body and soul are reborn every seven years. I will do it in 1/7 of the time.

It doesn´t fuc**ing matter how much of failure you make yourself out to be.
It doesn´t matter what your past is or was like. Don´t excuse yourself don´t victimize yourself. You can be strong if you really want. You chose PMO and now - stop it. drop it.
don´t live a lethargic passive life. Better feel your fears and pain than feel nothing at all - that is what it means to be alive.

you thoughts become yourself and what you are. Control them, guide them. Don´t have a negative, pessimistic loser mindset. If when you are falling from the highest cliff, enjoy the fall and say thank you for the journey so far because YOU were one from millions of millions of millions participants that were granted a chance in life by your dad and mother.
you don´t need to excuse yourself for failing, failing means trying, maybe you can try harder but that´s you own decision. The only thing that´s inexcusable is not trying at all, running and vegatating wasting the chance you have at life.

A successful life isn´t necessarily a happy life or an easy life. No one is born happy, it´s something we choose ourselves and take without asking.
Stay tuned.

 

PS: This post isn´t about "getting" revenge being grumpy or bitter it´s about facing the truth and the truth isn´t always nice and pretty but If you don´t accept reality you can´t change it ; )