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The Most Important New Years Resolution I've Ever Made

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by seth, Jan 2, 2016.

  1. ned123

    ned123 Fapstronaut

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    Respect bro - and congrats - you will be an awesome teacher! :)
     
    seth likes this.
  2. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    My 120th Day

    Had a great, fun time last night going out with friends. My training has been going well. I had a super productive day (my first full weekday without work). I bought a brand new bicycle! I'm planning on seeing lots of friends tonight, so that should be awesome.

    I have MO'd two times in the last 5-6 days, and it really feels great. I really feel this was the right decision. I have had absolutely NO drop in motivation, energy, or mental clarity. I have NOT felt any chaser effect.

    In the past, when I've relapsed, the day following the relapse, I always PMO / MO because I say, "fuck it, I already relapsed." I haven't had that thought at all. I have had the thought, "Oh I'm 'allowed' to masturbate, and I'm allowed to do it right now if I could" but I really just haven't needed to do so. So, I've gone through the past few days (days following MO) and not really needed to MO, so I haven't. And it hasn't been a struggle, like I would expect with the chaser effect. But the chaser effect is about dopamine, and a short MO session doesn't bathe our brains in dopamine like porn does (and sex, to some extent).

    But I'm really glad I've decided to MO. I really feel like I accomplished something recently by allowing this. I don't feel like I'm being so extreme anymore. I don't have to feel self-conscious about lasting such a short time. I am pretty open about NoFap with my friends, but there are some girls, if I slept with, I wouldn't want to get into all that. I also can practice multi-orgasms, which you can't really do without MO.

    I do want to write some rules for myself.
    1) Never MO two days in a row.
    2) Always MO right before a potential sexual encounter (as close to as possible).
    3) Record my energy levels, motivation levels, mental clarity, and thoughts about MO, until the end of June.
     
    ned123 likes this.
  3. Machin

    Machin Fapstronaut

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    What you're trying is interesting.
    I'm not sure about it, so keep us posted, and be very precise on how you will record your energy levels and thoughts.
    It can be tricky because knowing you're going to record it, it may change your perception. A better way would have been to ask a close friend to record it without knowing if you masturbated or not.

    I won't do it, but that's personal (after all I'm married, and have regular sex, which has gotten far better than it ever was).
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2016
    seth and ned123 like this.
  4. ned123

    ned123 Fapstronaut

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    This is all very interesting....
    I believe that energy levels probably stay pretty good provided you don't ejaculate too often either by M or having sex. The main thing is staying off porn and then I would say it's really important not to resort to MO as a kind of habit.
     
    seth likes this.
  5. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    I think I have a pretty good feel for my emotions and I can tell when I just don't feel like doing anything and I can tell when I can't think clearly.

    I can totally imagine myself doing the same if I was in a regular relationship. I'm glad to hear your sex life has improved!

    Thats the key! No porn and MO in moderation!
     
    ned123 likes this.
  6. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    My 122th Day

    Not such a great day today. Last night I went out and it was bleh. Boring. Not really fun people to go out with and this morning I felt a dip in my motivation. But I'm positive this is from drinking, since I always feel bleh the morning after a night out.

    And today I kinda made a boo-boo. I was on facebook and I saw an advertisement for some fucking nudist shit junk. I should have Xed it right away, but I clicked it and just didn't X out right away. This is so stupid, I'm 4 months in and I still made a stupid mistake like this. I only was on the site (just some pictures) for a minute, and then I shut down my cpu and MO'd (no P) as a safeguard. What's annoying is I didn't even go onto my cpu for P. I wasn't horny. I wasn't having negative emotions that I was trying to escape. I just mindlessly clicked on it. I'm a little disappointed in myself, but this is a little trip, rather than me falling flat-on-my-face.
     
  7. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    My 128th Day

    I haven't been on here in a few days because I haven't gotten the feedback I used to. I could be more proactive and "meet" new people on this forum, but I'm a bit lazy about that. Porn is not an issue. Even when I have a tiny thought about porn, I automatically think, "I'm going to hate myself if I watch it - it's so not worth it. It's not worth it for the 100 days, 100 hours, 100 minutes, or even 100 seconds after I watch." Even when I feel shitty, I think. "Oh should I watch porn?" And I genuinely know that it'll make everything worse. My beliefs that porn is destructive is rock solid.

    I've been MOing a lot more lately. Not really doing anything to stop it. That's because my belief that MOing is bad is not rock solid. It's not even tangible. But we'll see where that goes. Don't think I'll be posting regularly anymore. Going to be a once a week thing instead of a once a day thing.
     
  8. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    For a while, I had been thinking about telling my brother about NoFap, because I can tell he watches porn. Luckily, he actually brought up the topic of porn, so I got to educate him a bit. I just followed up the conversation by sending him a link to Yourbrainonporn.com and to NoFap.com as well. He's a very scientific-minded person, so he'll appreciate the research backed approach YBOP follows. I'm feeling pretty good that I got to share this with him (without having to introduce it myself). I also noticed I am pretty comfortable talking about it (more so than usual) because I can start by saying "Oh I don't watch porn anymore. At least I haven't in 2016"
     
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  9. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

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    Has mo'ing increased anxiety by any chance? I always feel anxious whenever I fap without porn.
     
    ned123 likes this.
  10. ned123

    ned123 Fapstronaut

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    I found nofap because I had a suspicion that MOing too much wasn't good. So in the process of discovering it's ok not to MO when you're not in a relationship ie so not having regular sex, I was also educated on the pitfalls of watching too much porn.
    So it's been great to kick P out of my life altogether - but I also believe that when we ejaculate we are losing so much energy that our bodies feel a huge depletion. Semen is tantamount to cerebral fluid, it's got the best the body can produce - which makes sense if you're producing a mini you!
    I actually intentionally ejaculated for the first time this year yesterday. I did it because I wanted to make sure I could still do it after having trained myself to O without shooting my load. The pleasure was almost excruciating and it was all out of control. I don't intend to do it too often, but it's ok to do every now and then. I know orgasm without ejaculation isn't for everyone though. But for me, the feeling after ejaculation is as bad as a hangover after a big night on the alcohol! :eek:
     
  11. ned123

    ned123 Fapstronaut

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    I think it's great you've been able to subtly let your bro know P may not be the most constructive pastime! And you're cleverly allowing him to find out for himself: that way of learning always makes a big impact. How do you feel about him becoming a fapstronaut? It would be weird if you both posted to each other anonymously! :p
     
  12. ned123

    ned123 Fapstronaut

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    Me too mate! Although I reckon I felt the same way with porn too. Why do you think there's a difference for you? :confused:
     
  13. Machin

    Machin Fapstronaut

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    Beware of the link between P and MO.
    MO has a reproductive origin (the book Sperm Wars explains it, but don't read it : too many triggers), but I'm not sure it's safe to MO before the reboot is over.
    It might be a real problem if you fantasize while MO'ing. Because fantasizing is just porn in your brain.
     
  14. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

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    Porn + mo makes things 10 times worse. mo'ing alone is still a problem but not as great as porn is.
     
    ned123 likes this.
  15. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    MOing has not increased anxiety whatsoever. I had a wierd few days where I felt shitty, and I'm confident that is because of the porn substitute I watched the day prior. I also MOed more compulsively a few days ago, probably because of that p-sub.

    How about that! I wouldn't expect a "hangover feeling" but that's really interesting. Be super careful of your habits the next few days as it's very easy to start MOing frequently once you've done it once. But thanks for sharing!

    I have MO'd maybe 6 times in the last two weeks and I have not fantasized once. The first few times, I was so sensitive, I didn't need to fantasize and I've maintained that throughout. If I begin to fantasize (which happened once), I immediately shut the thought out and focus on the feeling.

    I tried to make the most of the opportunity, by telling him how serious of a problem porn is, but I know he needs to convince himself. I emphasized YBOP, but I also shared the link NoFap.com and just describing Nofap as a good online forum for talking about it. I use my real name, Seth, and if he read my journal - he could probably figure out its me. I would feel a bit weird him knowing everything so personal, but I'll take that risk lol
     
    ned123 likes this.
  16. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    My 151st Day

    I just relapsed.
     
  17. ned123

    ned123 Fapstronaut

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    Not been logging recently and just thought I'd check in! Weird, cos I read this short post from my buddy Seth!
    Dude - you mustn't feel bad about relapsing. Your a guy for heaven's sake - it's normal. But just laugh about it..
    Soz off to work - got to go - take it easy mate
     
    seth likes this.
  18. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    I PMO'd again this morning, but I'm not letting it go any further. It's just not worth it.
     
  19. Machin

    Machin Fapstronaut

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    Relapsing is part of the process.
    There's no interest in doing this if it's not difficult.
    The truth is that our society drives men to watch porn, and you know now that you can make it to 150 days, and that you can be stronger than this.
    Almost half a year without PMO.
    That's a huge improvement.

    I've been tempted, too.
    Sometimes it was hard not to PMO, and I was really close to relapse.
    And I understand that it often depends on little things.
    Try meditation : it is one of the many thing that helps. ;)

    Oh, I forgot : don't give up.
     
  20. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    So this is going to be the first time I don't fall completely back to my old habits after a reset. Normally, it goes RIGHT BACK to PMO once a day. As of now I PMO'd a few times in a 3 day span, but more importantly, I was able to get through yesterday a whole day PMO free. I strongly disagree with the notion of once you relapse, you have to start all over again. Even though there might be some merit behind that regarding the chemistry of the brain, I feel you'll never lose the experience, at the very least. I'm about to start a very new chapter of my life in exactly 2 weeks and I really want to be on my best footing when that arrives. I'm about to compete in a triathlon that I trained a year for, and it would be ridiculous to waste my precious energy reserves on nothing. Also, I kind of got sick the day after I PMO'd, and I can't help but feel the PMO is sucking my life, my immunity. Also, my dick fucking hurts from PMO'ing. It's so unnecessary. AND ALSO after the first PMO session, there's nothing I really need to watch. I usually search for something very very specific, and I've essentially seen any video of that that exists. Usually, when we PMO, we wait to orgasm at the perfect scene. The past few days, I've ended up just going back and watching the same videos that I've seen several months ago. So, when I get an urge, I have to HAVE TO realize that the porn session isn't even that exciting. It's just so not fucking worth it.

    I've also noticed the time between my streaks has been decreasing. Time between my first streak and second streak was maybe 4 months. The time between my second streak and third streak was maybe 2 months. Then one month. Two weeks. And now it looks like it will be 4 days. I know that I always go back to NoFap, but sometimes I just look for an excuse to get started. My excuse last time was that it was New Years and I wanted to make a great resolution. This time, my excuse is that my life is too fucking valuable to look for excuses!

    I'm glad I wrote this. It solidifies my thought process.
     
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