Any reconciliation stories?

No success here at all.

I have changed I would say. I am still in progress, but only because of myself. She is gone. It is bitter, but nothing I can do about it.

 

I see you aren't getting replies that you wanted. I'm sorry. That doesn't mean those stories don't exist but you are fighting a hard battle.

I'm a wife that didn't leave, but I made it clear I would, if he wasn't working toward recovery. And the deception, yes, that was the hardest part. Other wives and girlfriends say the same.

Mainly I wanted to say, the best thing you can do is work on you. Get into therapy, if you are not already. Continue your nofap journey. Get healthier. Get healthy hobbies. Make yourself a better person and a better future partner. Maybe it will help your case with her, maybe not. But no matter what, it will help you. Best of luck to you.

 

Hey @RecoveringScoundrel,

My wife stayed with me the whole time. I was really hard for her and there were times that she left for a few days and we really got close to divorce. However, she had to figure out what she wanted. Your SO may be doing the same thing. Finding out is a traumatic experience similar to being cheated on. And if you struggle going forward, it may cause more trauma. If you want to understand her look up PTSD and see how people act.

I agree with @fupornwife that you need to get healthier and find a life bigger than PMO. And while you may feel like a weight is off of you because you have come clean, that weight fell right on top of your SO with little or no warning. She is hurting because some she loves has betrayed her. Be vulnerable, be honest, be patient.

If you are still talking with her, then I would refer her to @lfromcr or the women's support group on this site.

 

Hello, RecoveringScoundrel,

My husband (@jfromcr) and I made it through. He's been sober 6 years and his longest term of sobriety was 6 years before that, so it can be done! I can't say he's healed, but he hasn't been experiencing huge temptation or the nervous tension that can accompany sobriety--so he's feeling free from the PMO monster.

We're now on our 21st year of marriage, but it has NOT been an easy journey.

I read your journal, and given the details you shared, I can't say your ex will be willing to come back-not any time soon anyway.

You asked what helped us sort out the issues… It would take a book (or three) to share what's helped us. But for now, just you doing your best FOR YOU is the best you can do right now. Maybe she will be more open to reconciliation, but given how she found out, I think she will have to see some other things (like some long-term sobriety) first.

So you're on the right track!

 

Man, I completely relate to your story, I am going through exactly the same pattern. Keep doing things for yourself and try to become a better person, I hope that over the time things will be better.

Best of luck to you!