Starting with trepidation. . .

I can't say I know what its like being 50 something, but lots of people here are willing to talk. I like this community because we can be so open with each other and not hide our secrets from everyone.

 

Welcome, @Taodude! I read your story and it sounds like many, many guys on here. I am even older than you - 63 - and there are quite a few of us in the over-50 range.

If you are truly committed to healing your addiction, you are in the right place. Start by educating yourself by reading and watching the "Your Brain on Porn" web site and videos. I found this very enlightening to understand how porn can rewire your brain. Write about your experiences on a daily basis, and read others' stories.

The support you receive here is phenomenal! Your wife may also want to get involved here, too - there are several wives here to support their husbands.

Best wishes to you!
Catbert

 

Sorry to hear about how badly porn had affected your life. I'm only 29 and not married yet! In a relationship of 4 years, living with my girlfriend and am still debating whether to tell her about my addiction.
I wish you the best with your recovery.

 

Coming clean was the right thing to do, from the perspective of a wife. And coming here for support. Secrets and shame are so toxic to relationships and recovery! My husband told me 7 years ago, after 5 years of marriage. We're in the midst of a reboot together now. I highly suggest you consider a reboot! If your wife is interested, we have a private group here for spouses. I've also posted about my side of our reboot journey in the women's section of the main forum, called fupornwife journal.

Best of luck to you as your wife considers her options and as you work to really kick this habit.

 

Its been extremely painful, 5 years of kmowing something was wrong, but not what, and 7 years of doing my best to support him despite very little meaningful conversation and emotional connection. Now, I finally have hope, wit the reboot. What has helped me the most is daily FANOS and 30 minutes of cuddling. I will tag you in a post with details.

 

Its not strictly a nofap thing, you can see in the thread I tagged you in where it comes from, but someone here told me about it and it's been so helpful for us I've been shouting it from the mountains. Lol

 

Yep. Exactly me too. This reboot thing has been so helpful, but it brought up buried feelings too. A couple weeks I spilled my angry and hurt feelings out like lava, all over my husband. Having other women to talk to in private, where I can rage without fear of pushing my husband into desperation and relapse, has been helpful too. But mostly FANOS and nonsexual cuddling has helped meet my needs, after years if begging and crying that they weren't being met, so, big surprise, I've been more loving and forgiving.

 

http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/have-you-heard-of-fanos.67103/

No problem. Try that link.

 

Hi @Taodude

I feel your pain, which is very similar to the one we all felt here when we started this program. I am 51 and was a PMO addict since 10. I have been clean for a year now, after struggling and failing so many times before I found NoFap.

It is a big step if you can know what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear.

I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up.
I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down:


https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...y-first-320-days-of-reboot.62938/#post-473978


I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318

You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:

http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2


I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.

Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take the NoFap Academy course if you can afford it. The course is great but the best value are the weekly video calls with @alexander (the creator of NoFap and NoFap Academy) and Mark Queppet, where you can chat with them in real life and listen to other guys's stories and problems too.

I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.

Fercho

 

Hi @Taodude , I sugestivo that you write your feeling now that you understand hat you are hurting your wife and describe how egocentric and selfish you are when you fap and neglect her. It will be useful to read it when you get an urge.
If you love her this should be your main driver for success
If you have a weak will power Insugegst you to take the course online at NoFap Academy, because the teach you about will power and give you exercise to focus on why you are doing this, and who is your "ideal self" that you want to be instead of a creepy person that faps and watch Porn like a beast without thinking of the implications that this have for their beloved ones
It is a hard battle and you will feel pain and discomfort, but believe me, it is worth it
What is the alternative? In 10 years stay the same and lose your wife and everything you care for? Is your hand the best lover you can dream of.?
Ask yourself all these questions and write them in your Emergency Toolbox
Good luck
Fercho